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so, I'm making this huge step. A step he'll either say he never expected or was just waiting for. I made my decison, and I'm sure eventually I'll go back on it but for now its what i need. Two years. My best friend. My everyfucking thing. I need to remove you from this life now too. I just took you off my buddy list, and now off my friends list. I
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I don't wish the best for you. You try to hurt me time and time again, so i dont really know what you want. You pretty much just admited in what you were attempting to do. YOU ALWAYS TRIED TO HURT ME, say you didnt, i doesnt fucking matter,
Your I love you's were false. Your a fucking fake. No way that you are not, the whole idea that you can spend 2 years with a girl and live your whole life one way with her, and another with your friends proves alot. A FUCKING LOT. that your not sincere with one group.
You don't know what love is. I'm scared you never will. I'm scared I never will.
I wasted alot of time, energy and pain on you and I'm fucking sorry that iI ever put anything into the bullshit that we called a fucking relationship.
Go live your fake life and be happy without me.
God knows you wont miss me.
God knows you'll be in denial for the rest of your life.
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yea, i wanted to hurt you. i tried. i suceeded, because you taught me how to do it well.
your i love you's were too frequent and fast to be taken seriously most times. i know you meant it sometimes though; so did i. you aren't a fake, really - just not entirely for real. the whole scenario of spending two years with a guy, living them one way, and another with your friends and him proves a lot. they liked my company, mine never liked yours. my friends are, although jerks, sincere. they don't like someone, they'll let you know from the start. yours, well - maybe they'll turn out to be assholes too but only time will tell.
"and that's what you read in the pop-psychology book: love means letting go of fear"
we're not supposed to know what love is, not when we met, not when we died. love is unique to each person, and thus, unique to the person he or she shares it with. love cannot be defined so easily; the above quote is the best way i've found to define it. take it as you wish. but you said you're scared, so...
time is not wasted, it would go by whether spent with a purpose or not. say you wasted it, i'll only agree i did the same. energy is not wasted, it has to be spent somehow, somewhere. if you think you wasted your energy on me, that's your own damn fault. and pain, well. that's just about all i took out of our "bullshit that we called a fucking relationship."
go live your life, the one i gave you, and be happy without me.
god has nothing to do with it.
"You can have power over people as long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything, he's no longer in your power."
- Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn
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