(no subject)
GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this so much. I cant get her out of mind. Its really hitting hard lately. Anytime I try and do anything, I think of her. and I can't help but think, if shes looking at the sky at the very moment that I am. Maybe in that sense we're together again, but I cant help but think that she probably isnt thinking about me at all and shes probably moving on with her life while Im breaking down in tears every night washing away my sorrows with the 6 packs and shot after shot. Oh god, why did this have to happen to me. I pray to god everyday that this will be over and her and I will be happy again. I know we wont be able to be together, but maybe in a couple of months, who knows. I just try and stay optimistic because I love her and I dont want to let her go. I've always said she has been my reason to take my next breath, so why do I still choose to breathe? It's because I will always have the thought that someday her and I will be happy together, happily ever after as we always said. I miss her so much and I would do anything to just have a talk to her, without arguing, without yelling, without pointing the finger, just a conversation where she listens to what I have to say and I listen to what she has to say. I want her to hear and know the truth, but I dont know if I'll ever get to tell her. I heard shes happy without me anyways, so maybe Im just being selfish. Apparently shes moved on with some Jon guy, I dont know. but if shes happier, then god bless the two of them. I really wish I could be in his shoes though. I tried so hard to make her happy and I just couldn't do it. I love her so much and all I ever wanted to do was to make her happy with me. Ill pray day after day for a chance to just talk to her, cause I havent even had that yet. It kills me. I mean, the girl that I love, is only a couple miles away, but I cant even touch her or call her. AHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Somebody help me, dont tell me the truth, just tell me what I want to hear. Tell me that someday things will be good between us again, tell me that she still loves me and she still thinks of me, tell me that everything reminds her of me, tell me that she wants all of this to pass and wants to have a talk, just the two of us. Maybe I need to wake up, maybe she really didnt love me........