(no subject)

[xriotgirlx27]

its killing me
why dont i talk to him more?
i never get the chance.
but i cant help but feeling so unimportant.
his picture just stabs me.
i wonder what hes doing right now.
i wish i had amnesia.
i wish i could go back to last summer.
i wish i would have stayed with my friends the whole summer.
i love him.
i want him.
i need him.
but i cant have him.
this is pure torture.
but who made this pain?
its my own fault.
i just had to like him in the first place.
and of course i think about him every minute.
and i just have to dream about him every night.
i wish i could forget him.
i wonder how many girls he likes better than me.
im sure there are so many.
im sure he doesnt even like me in that way anymore.
im sure ill never be good enough for him ever again.
this is my own fault.
i threw it away before i had the chance to realize how good it was.
hes going to grow up and forget me.
hes going to live happily ever after.
im going to live broken.
i wont give anyone else a chance anymore.
i refuse to fall in love with anyone else.
i wonder if he understands me.
i wonder if anyone has felt the exact same way.
i dont think ill ever know.
i wish i could let go of this feeling.
i wish i could let go of everything.
i wish this was easy.
i wish this pain would just leave.
it wont.
im sure that today is the day that i found out nothing with ever be the same again.
for anything.
i wonder if i will ever see him again.
i wonder if he'll ever feel the same about me.
i wonder if ill ever admit im over him.
but thats not possible.
because im not.
i wonder if he knows how much this hurts.