I'm gross.
I think my exposure to bad stuff has increased 100%. Bad stuff is news stuff-- war, crime, misogyny, racism-- but also people. People that I thought I liked ("famous" and not) being people I don't. I'm sure the news stuff is meant to inspire action, and I'm sure it does, and I'm sure it may have with me at one time, but I feel like I've gotten tired of feeling disgusted all the time, and now I'm just in nihilistic mode.
I was going to actually go to a barber, but nope, I'm going to keep with this cutting my own hair thing until somebody calls me out on it. Last Wednesday was the first day since middle school or before that I went out without makeup, so idk if this 'nothing has a point' is good or bad, ha. I know that I may have exercised with one or more of you without makeup, but I also know that I had to convince myself that I was exercising; it's not the time to be concerned about smooth skin or whatever. Not to mention it clogs pores, and I'm sweating anyway. And I have exercised with one or more of you with makeup.
And it was just for the library. I spend less time at the library than I do at a gas station (but I usually put on makeup anyway).
Last month (or whenever), I was nearly impressed by this town. "Look at you! You're getting comics I'd pay to see and your own little music festival! You're getting an indie movie while it's being promoted (rather than months later) and On the Road!" Now I'm just looking at this list, like, "Well. Here are... things."
Not caring about things is weird, at least for me, because I'm still angry that I look like a stupid, whiny brat complaining that reading about others' lives has made me sad :'''''(
How do you deal with people... being humans? People say that you don't have to put up with whatever, but aren't there a ton of reasons we're told to? I feel like there's always going to be something with everyone and not even dumb stuff I usually care about like tv shows, and now I've just worried myself that I'd never meet anyone that I wouldn't grow tired of (because dealing with them has become so tiring). What's the appropriate measure for dealing with someone you like or are obligated to but don't like aspects of him/her?
I was going to actually go to a barber, but nope, I'm going to keep with this cutting my own hair thing until somebody calls me out on it. Last Wednesday was the first day since middle school or before that I went out without makeup, so idk if this 'nothing has a point' is good or bad, ha. I know that I may have exercised with one or more of you without makeup, but I also know that I had to convince myself that I was exercising; it's not the time to be concerned about smooth skin or whatever. Not to mention it clogs pores, and I'm sweating anyway. And I have exercised with one or more of you with makeup.
And it was just for the library. I spend less time at the library than I do at a gas station (but I usually put on makeup anyway).
Last month (or whenever), I was nearly impressed by this town. "Look at you! You're getting comics I'd pay to see and your own little music festival! You're getting an indie movie while it's being promoted (rather than months later) and On the Road!" Now I'm just looking at this list, like, "Well. Here are... things."
Not caring about things is weird, at least for me, because I'm still angry that I look like a stupid, whiny brat complaining that reading about others' lives has made me sad :'''''(
How do you deal with people... being humans? People say that you don't have to put up with whatever, but aren't there a ton of reasons we're told to? I feel like there's always going to be something with everyone and not even dumb stuff I usually care about like tv shows, and now I've just worried myself that I'd never meet anyone that I wouldn't grow tired of (because dealing with them has become so tiring). What's the appropriate measure for dealing with someone you like or are obligated to but don't like aspects of him/her?