totaly lost
OMG im so happy
its been some time so let me fill you in:
i have a girlfriend finaly love her to death.
loving school again well most of it
TOTALY MISS YOU u know who you are and if not then you are a loser or should i say double loser hehehe
but ok heres the problem
after i asked this chick out and she said no we because very close. this was different and very strange. now im like her brother which is awsome i love it. but I know what im feeling and its brotherly. its like the more i know her and am around her the more i want to be with her. not just some1 that loved. i want to idk. so now its like welll.....i have a g\f and all but shes kinda strange.
again i love her to death. but we really dont know eachother that well. i mean i know all about her and only knows the darker side of me. we with this other chick its like she knows all about me and i know all about her. if we are alone or mostly alone ill lie in her lap and she stroke my hair and i did something i have never done before. turned my back to everyone. i mean i knew what was going on but i couldnt see them. thats how secure i felt. i seriously felt like i could lie there and cry. and not feel out of place or anything. i just dont know. i dont think it would ever work between us because im not her type of guy and i know it but still. i just felt something that i have only felt with my g\f and that is security. my g\f is the only one that has accualy seen me cry. i dont even let my parents see me cring becuase my mom would make it worse and dad would be lik MAN IT UP BOY or something like that. so its not like i have someone to really lean on sometimes. which i think is why im so messed up in school. i dont know i wish i did. the fact that i turned my back to everyone is something new. i dont even do that with my dad there. and i learned everything i know from him. i think that is what made me change. like i was falling asleep. i could have. again only my g\f am i so secure that i can even think about falling asleep. maybe im 2 defensive. arg. im so damn lost. i wish someone could show me my path. i seriously think im going crazy. i like her but i know the feeling arnt the same for me. which kinda hurts enough to make me on my toes but not enough to really get to me. i wonder if im being a hard ass or something.
its been some time so let me fill you in:
i have a girlfriend finaly love her to death.
loving school again well most of it
TOTALY MISS YOU u know who you are and if not then you are a loser or should i say double loser hehehe
but ok heres the problem
after i asked this chick out and she said no we because very close. this was different and very strange. now im like her brother which is awsome i love it. but I know what im feeling and its brotherly. its like the more i know her and am around her the more i want to be with her. not just some1 that loved. i want to idk. so now its like welll.....i have a g\f and all but shes kinda strange.
again i love her to death. but we really dont know eachother that well. i mean i know all about her and only knows the darker side of me. we with this other chick its like she knows all about me and i know all about her. if we are alone or mostly alone ill lie in her lap and she stroke my hair and i did something i have never done before. turned my back to everyone. i mean i knew what was going on but i couldnt see them. thats how secure i felt. i seriously felt like i could lie there and cry. and not feel out of place or anything. i just dont know. i dont think it would ever work between us because im not her type of guy and i know it but still. i just felt something that i have only felt with my g\f and that is security. my g\f is the only one that has accualy seen me cry. i dont even let my parents see me cring becuase my mom would make it worse and dad would be lik MAN IT UP BOY or something like that. so its not like i have someone to really lean on sometimes. which i think is why im so messed up in school. i dont know i wish i did. the fact that i turned my back to everyone is something new. i dont even do that with my dad there. and i learned everything i know from him. i think that is what made me change. like i was falling asleep. i could have. again only my g\f am i so secure that i can even think about falling asleep. maybe im 2 defensive. arg. im so damn lost. i wish someone could show me my path. i seriously think im going crazy. i like her but i know the feeling arnt the same for me. which kinda hurts enough to make me on my toes but not enough to really get to me. i wonder if im being a hard ass or something.