oh_mikamika
in
xq_rp
A dream is a wish your heart makes
➜ Date/Time: August 13th, about 5:00PM
➜ Location: Just behind the Exiles dorm building
➜ Muses: Lee Suhoon (Mika), Im Jinah
➜ Status: Closed
➜ Completion: Completed
➜ Rating: PG-13
➜ Type: AIM
➜ Summary: Jinah tells Mika where she's been hiding and he rushes over to comfort her.
text: ...I'm behind the Exiles building...
Without responding Mika hurried-- was it possible to hurry in a limp? --to the back of the House building where, sure enough, he spotted Jinah. She was leaning against the wall, on the floor and crouched down. Why did this remind him so much of their childhood? And why did he dislike it so much?
"Jinah," he grunted, leaning against the wall himself now. He had almost broke a bit of a sweat getting here. The pain in his leg was still fresh.
Reminiscent of her own childhood, Nana stayed crouched low. Hugging her knees close. She stared at the grass, watching for a rare ant or two. She really hated this, the way she felt. So weak and alone again, but she wasn't alone. She had learned this earlier. When Ryo told her about how much people cared about her already. It had begun to sink in earlier. But the dream threw her off. She couldn't face anyone when she had so many demons.
Slowly, she looked up to see Mika, she raised a brow, noticing his state. He looked worn out, she wondered if he had run to see her. She slowly stood, reaching over to wipe at his slightly damp forehead. "Are you okay?" She asked, finding the voice she had lost days ago.
Without missing a beat Mika shook his head and took Jinah's hand, removing it from his forehead and lacing the fingers with his. "I'm fine." It wasn't him that they had to worry about today. Jinah needed help. He would be here to do that, and nothing more.
He walked the both of them back to where she had been crouched down earlier, taking a seat himself and consequently letting go of her hand. He just needed to put the weight off his leg, but she probably didn't notice. He remained quiet, not asking what was wrong or how she felt. It was, again, similar to those years ago; he'd wait for her to talk when she wanted.
Once they were seated, Nana's mind went back to what she wanted to talk about. She wrapped her arms around her knees, holding them close to her chest. She chewed on her lip, trying to remember how to put this into words. Somehow, it all flowed out without her needing to help it.
"Do you remember...that day I disappeared?" She whispered. "Did you parents tell you anything?"
Mika blinked, definitely not having expected this to be the topic of the conversation. He assumed she would immediately start going into the topic of her nightmare, about whatever horrible things she had to go through (the idea began to boil his blood again). Did this have anything to do with it?
He glanced at her before leaning back against the wall. "Besides saying that I wasn't allowed to see you again, nope." What a day that had turned out to be. He almost shook his head at the memories of disbelief, fury and depression that all seemed to have overtaken him in the course of an evening's conversation.
She licked her lips, finding a lump growing in her throat as he responded, "They told you nothing...so...You didn't read any newspaper articles...or watch the news?" Of course, they were kids, what kid read the newspaper or watched the news? The last thing she remembered about being fourteen was going to boarding school in Japan, and being fascinated by cartoons. Most of the cartoons being for five years olds, but her mind set rarely changed.
She exhaled slowly, "My parents...you never saw them right? I came back during the summer...I had gone to boarding school after my therapy sessions...So I came home one summer...I thought everything would be okay." Her chest slowly rose and fell with each breath, trying to calm herself. "I didn't want to see you. I was too..." She shook her head. The words still stuck to her like glue. She knew what had happened to her. Messed up. Worn down and confused. She swallowed hard again, "I just...couldn't see you. At all." She was starting to stray from the topic, when she shook her head again.
"My mom...step-mom." Nana tried to focus on her breathing and control it as she wiped her face slowly. "She...tried to kill me." She finally blurted out.
The fact that she didn't want to see him was no surprise, if it did still sting. Mika had believed that, after all that time, if she still was alive and around, she wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. There was no rational reason for it; it was just the result of constantly hearing his parents trying to convince him that they were better off away from each other as well as his overactive fifteen-year-old mind. But then she spoke again, and...
"What?" He was staring at her with his mouth slightly gaping in horror. True, during all those years they had been friends he had never actually talked to her parents before. Maybe he'd catch glimpses of them once in a while, but no more than that. It was always his house she visited. He never questioned why, because they had been together and that was all that mattered.
"When I was eight...I overheard my parents talking. My step mom was asking questions. My dad said my mom committed suicide..." She cleared her throat, staring out at the back yard of the Exile's home. "They sent me to a therapist, and then after that, I was sent to boarding school. I just couldn't see you and tell you all this. I thought you would think...I was..." She sighed.
"So...When I came home for vacation, my dad went to work one day. It was just me and her, and then all of a sudden, she took a knife and aimed it at me. I don't remember what was happening, I couldn't speak and all I remember was thinking how she should stop and then..."
She trailed off and turned to him, "She turned the knife on herself..." Nana raised a finger to her throat, "And killed herself." She mimicked the movements as if her finger was the knife. "Dad came home, and saw what happened. He got so angry he went after me, and so..." She grimaced at the thought, "I took the knife and stabbed him....I ran after that."
Oh, God.
All Mika could do after this was continue to stare at her. This was... this had really happened. Jinah did let herself slip into her fairytale delusions once in a while, but all those times were harmless, and endearing. It was part of her charm. She was never a liar, and he knew she wasn't insane. So this... this was all true. Her step-mother had tried to kill her, and she was forced to kill both of her parents.
Why the fuck hadn't he been there for her then.
It was pointless now, talking to her after she had to go through it. It was past; it couldn't be fixed or changed. God damn it.
As Mika reached out and pulled Jinah towards him, kissing the top of her head, he wished he could have done it himself. He wished he could have ripped those fuckers to shreds.
She allowed herself to get pulled into his hold. She suddenly relaxed feeling his lips on her head. She buried her face into his chest, never one to tear much, she felt happy that he was there. She felt more comfortable...now.
"In my nightmare..." She swallowed hard, "She went after me again, but I was too slow. She cut me..." Though she had received treatment rather quickly, due to the fact she rushed out of Sungmin's bedroom upon awakening. "And then, I relived it over and over again. And the last time...it was you and Sungmin on the floor...not them." She swallowed hard, leaving out the earlier parts of the nightmare, that included her battle with death and her near drowning.
She allowed herself to get pulled into his hold. She suddenly relaxed feeling his lips on her head. She buried her face into his chest, never one to tear much, she felt happy that he was there. She felt more comfortable...now.
"In my nightmare..." She swallowed hard, "She went after me again, but I was too slow. She cut me..." Though she had received treatment rather quickly, due to the fact she rushed out of Sungmin's bedroom upon awakening. "And then, I relived it over and over again. And the last time...it was you and Sungmin on the floor...not them." She swallowed hard, leaving out the earlier parts of the nightmare, that included her battle with death and her near drowning.
As Jinah began to tell him her nightmare Mika repositioned his arms so that he was holding her against him, almost cradling her. He kept his chin on her head and began to gently rub her arm with his thumb. As touching as it was that he was in her dream-- with Sungmin, even --the fact that the both of them had been killed by her was... absolutely horrifying. Fuck this Zhoumi, who ever he was. Fuck him.
"You know that's never gonna happen," he murmured after kissing her head again. He kept his lips there longer than last time, as if doing so would make her believe him more. "Princesses don't hurt other people unless they're forced to. And we'll never ever do that to you."
She knew this and yet she worried about her past more. It felt like her demons were catching up with her. She wanted to tell Sungmin so badly, and yet she feared telling him. What would he say? What would he think? She inhaled sharply, resting her head against his shoulder, finding how close they were soothing. She had refrained from human contact for too long. And now there he was. She had finally told Mika. Everything would be okay from now on, at least between them. Sungmin would be another topic.
By him, Mika assumed she meant Sungmin. Usually he was ridiculously protective over any boy that was interested in Jinah-- he had been so even while they were younger, when the occasional classmate or new neighbor found themselves crushing on the Princess and her Prince/Body Guard would deem them worthy or not. Most of the time, he deemed not. But Sungmin was a different case. He wasn't like most boys. He was softer; feminine, almost. Something that would be good for her. (Maybe he'd come to... meh, care for him a little bit, too. A little bit.)
"Shh," he said abruptly in response to her apology. "Just tell him like you told me. He cares about you. He'll be glad you trust him enough to do it."
Mika brought some comfort to Nana, at least with his words she was given some hope. She suddenly felt tired. It had been days since the last time she actually slept. She couldn't even remember when she last did. All she knew is that when she did sleep later that night, she could finally rest. She pulled away to look at Mika, "Are you okay?" She asked, eyes narrowing, "...What about your nightmare?" Though she didn't ask about it, she was curious and wondered what it was about. But she couldn't ask him directly.
Was he okay? Not really. Did he want to talk about it? Not really. But... it was Jinah. One of the only people here that he trusted. One of the only people he trusted, period. He knew she'd be upset if he clammed up completely. So as much as he hated admitting any pain, any weakness, he'd do it (if only a little) for her.
Mika let out a short sigh and tilted his head to the side, redirecting his gaze to a small flower at his feet. It was a tiny flower. "I... you were in it," he started quietly. "And you were in trouble and I fought and I got my ass kicked." He said nothing of the fact that she hadn't recognized him in the dream, or how his inability to save her had put him through hell.
Somehow, it made sense. It did. How many years had they spent apart? And then his dream seemed to really tie it all in. She reached up to caress his cheek. Cupping his face as she sat up to stare at him. "It's okay. I'm still here. And I'll never leave." A smile broke out onto her face, as small as it was, it was at least there. It was real. Just like her. She leaned over to wrap her arms around him and hug him carefully. She suddenly worried about hurting him then. As if she could hurt him at all. Not just from brute strength, which she did not have.
He was being spoiled. That was it. Someone thought he deserved something good and that was why he had found her again. Though his ribs were still sore and he was bruised and nearly every muscle in his body was aching, he hugged Jinah back tighter than he had hugged anyone in a long long time. To have someone here, saying she'd stay here and him absolutely believing her, was indescribable.
"You better not," was all he managed to grumble.
Hearing him grumble only brought a smile to her face. Rubbing the back of his head gently, she wondered if he sustained any injuries. He did say, 'his ass was kicked' or something along those lines. "We should head inside..." She whispered, stroking his back lightly. She didn't want to pull away until he was ready.
➜ Location: Just behind the Exiles dorm building
➜ Muses: Lee Suhoon (Mika), Im Jinah
➜ Status: Closed
➜ Completion: Completed
➜ Rating: PG-13
➜ Type: AIM
➜ Summary: Jinah tells Mika where she's been hiding and he rushes over to comfort her.
text: ...I'm behind the Exiles building...
Without responding Mika hurried-- was it possible to hurry in a limp? --to the back of the House building where, sure enough, he spotted Jinah. She was leaning against the wall, on the floor and crouched down. Why did this remind him so much of their childhood? And why did he dislike it so much?
"Jinah," he grunted, leaning against the wall himself now. He had almost broke a bit of a sweat getting here. The pain in his leg was still fresh.
Reminiscent of her own childhood, Nana stayed crouched low. Hugging her knees close. She stared at the grass, watching for a rare ant or two. She really hated this, the way she felt. So weak and alone again, but she wasn't alone. She had learned this earlier. When Ryo told her about how much people cared about her already. It had begun to sink in earlier. But the dream threw her off. She couldn't face anyone when she had so many demons.
Slowly, she looked up to see Mika, she raised a brow, noticing his state. He looked worn out, she wondered if he had run to see her. She slowly stood, reaching over to wipe at his slightly damp forehead. "Are you okay?" She asked, finding the voice she had lost days ago.
Without missing a beat Mika shook his head and took Jinah's hand, removing it from his forehead and lacing the fingers with his. "I'm fine." It wasn't him that they had to worry about today. Jinah needed help. He would be here to do that, and nothing more.
He walked the both of them back to where she had been crouched down earlier, taking a seat himself and consequently letting go of her hand. He just needed to put the weight off his leg, but she probably didn't notice. He remained quiet, not asking what was wrong or how she felt. It was, again, similar to those years ago; he'd wait for her to talk when she wanted.
Once they were seated, Nana's mind went back to what she wanted to talk about. She wrapped her arms around her knees, holding them close to her chest. She chewed on her lip, trying to remember how to put this into words. Somehow, it all flowed out without her needing to help it.
"Do you remember...that day I disappeared?" She whispered. "Did you parents tell you anything?"
Mika blinked, definitely not having expected this to be the topic of the conversation. He assumed she would immediately start going into the topic of her nightmare, about whatever horrible things she had to go through (the idea began to boil his blood again). Did this have anything to do with it?
He glanced at her before leaning back against the wall. "Besides saying that I wasn't allowed to see you again, nope." What a day that had turned out to be. He almost shook his head at the memories of disbelief, fury and depression that all seemed to have overtaken him in the course of an evening's conversation.
She licked her lips, finding a lump growing in her throat as he responded, "They told you nothing...so...You didn't read any newspaper articles...or watch the news?" Of course, they were kids, what kid read the newspaper or watched the news? The last thing she remembered about being fourteen was going to boarding school in Japan, and being fascinated by cartoons. Most of the cartoons being for five years olds, but her mind set rarely changed.
She exhaled slowly, "My parents...you never saw them right? I came back during the summer...I had gone to boarding school after my therapy sessions...So I came home one summer...I thought everything would be okay." Her chest slowly rose and fell with each breath, trying to calm herself. "I didn't want to see you. I was too..." She shook her head. The words still stuck to her like glue. She knew what had happened to her. Messed up. Worn down and confused. She swallowed hard again, "I just...couldn't see you. At all." She was starting to stray from the topic, when she shook her head again.
"My mom...step-mom." Nana tried to focus on her breathing and control it as she wiped her face slowly. "She...tried to kill me." She finally blurted out.
The fact that she didn't want to see him was no surprise, if it did still sting. Mika had believed that, after all that time, if she still was alive and around, she wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. There was no rational reason for it; it was just the result of constantly hearing his parents trying to convince him that they were better off away from each other as well as his overactive fifteen-year-old mind. But then she spoke again, and...
"What?" He was staring at her with his mouth slightly gaping in horror. True, during all those years they had been friends he had never actually talked to her parents before. Maybe he'd catch glimpses of them once in a while, but no more than that. It was always his house she visited. He never questioned why, because they had been together and that was all that mattered.
"When I was eight...I overheard my parents talking. My step mom was asking questions. My dad said my mom committed suicide..." She cleared her throat, staring out at the back yard of the Exile's home. "They sent me to a therapist, and then after that, I was sent to boarding school. I just couldn't see you and tell you all this. I thought you would think...I was..." She sighed.
"So...When I came home for vacation, my dad went to work one day. It was just me and her, and then all of a sudden, she took a knife and aimed it at me. I don't remember what was happening, I couldn't speak and all I remember was thinking how she should stop and then..."
She trailed off and turned to him, "She turned the knife on herself..." Nana raised a finger to her throat, "And killed herself." She mimicked the movements as if her finger was the knife. "Dad came home, and saw what happened. He got so angry he went after me, and so..." She grimaced at the thought, "I took the knife and stabbed him....I ran after that."
Oh, God.
All Mika could do after this was continue to stare at her. This was... this had really happened. Jinah did let herself slip into her fairytale delusions once in a while, but all those times were harmless, and endearing. It was part of her charm. She was never a liar, and he knew she wasn't insane. So this... this was all true. Her step-mother had tried to kill her, and she was forced to kill both of her parents.
Why the fuck hadn't he been there for her then.
It was pointless now, talking to her after she had to go through it. It was past; it couldn't be fixed or changed. God damn it.
As Mika reached out and pulled Jinah towards him, kissing the top of her head, he wished he could have done it himself. He wished he could have ripped those fuckers to shreds.
She allowed herself to get pulled into his hold. She suddenly relaxed feeling his lips on her head. She buried her face into his chest, never one to tear much, she felt happy that he was there. She felt more comfortable...now.
"In my nightmare..." She swallowed hard, "She went after me again, but I was too slow. She cut me..." Though she had received treatment rather quickly, due to the fact she rushed out of Sungmin's bedroom upon awakening. "And then, I relived it over and over again. And the last time...it was you and Sungmin on the floor...not them." She swallowed hard, leaving out the earlier parts of the nightmare, that included her battle with death and her near drowning.
She allowed herself to get pulled into his hold. She suddenly relaxed feeling his lips on her head. She buried her face into his chest, never one to tear much, she felt happy that he was there. She felt more comfortable...now.
"In my nightmare..." She swallowed hard, "She went after me again, but I was too slow. She cut me..." Though she had received treatment rather quickly, due to the fact she rushed out of Sungmin's bedroom upon awakening. "And then, I relived it over and over again. And the last time...it was you and Sungmin on the floor...not them." She swallowed hard, leaving out the earlier parts of the nightmare, that included her battle with death and her near drowning.
As Jinah began to tell him her nightmare Mika repositioned his arms so that he was holding her against him, almost cradling her. He kept his chin on her head and began to gently rub her arm with his thumb. As touching as it was that he was in her dream-- with Sungmin, even --the fact that the both of them had been killed by her was... absolutely horrifying. Fuck this Zhoumi, who ever he was. Fuck him.
"You know that's never gonna happen," he murmured after kissing her head again. He kept his lips there longer than last time, as if doing so would make her believe him more. "Princesses don't hurt other people unless they're forced to. And we'll never ever do that to you."
She knew this and yet she worried about her past more. It felt like her demons were catching up with her. She wanted to tell Sungmin so badly, and yet she feared telling him. What would he say? What would he think? She inhaled sharply, resting her head against his shoulder, finding how close they were soothing. She had refrained from human contact for too long. And now there he was. She had finally told Mika. Everything would be okay from now on, at least between them. Sungmin would be another topic.
By him, Mika assumed she meant Sungmin. Usually he was ridiculously protective over any boy that was interested in Jinah-- he had been so even while they were younger, when the occasional classmate or new neighbor found themselves crushing on the Princess and her Prince/Body Guard would deem them worthy or not. Most of the time, he deemed not. But Sungmin was a different case. He wasn't like most boys. He was softer; feminine, almost. Something that would be good for her. (Maybe he'd come to... meh, care for him a little bit, too. A little bit.)
"Shh," he said abruptly in response to her apology. "Just tell him like you told me. He cares about you. He'll be glad you trust him enough to do it."
Mika brought some comfort to Nana, at least with his words she was given some hope. She suddenly felt tired. It had been days since the last time she actually slept. She couldn't even remember when she last did. All she knew is that when she did sleep later that night, she could finally rest. She pulled away to look at Mika, "Are you okay?" She asked, eyes narrowing, "...What about your nightmare?" Though she didn't ask about it, she was curious and wondered what it was about. But she couldn't ask him directly.
Was he okay? Not really. Did he want to talk about it? Not really. But... it was Jinah. One of the only people here that he trusted. One of the only people he trusted, period. He knew she'd be upset if he clammed up completely. So as much as he hated admitting any pain, any weakness, he'd do it (if only a little) for her.
Mika let out a short sigh and tilted his head to the side, redirecting his gaze to a small flower at his feet. It was a tiny flower. "I... you were in it," he started quietly. "And you were in trouble and I fought and I got my ass kicked." He said nothing of the fact that she hadn't recognized him in the dream, or how his inability to save her had put him through hell.
Somehow, it made sense. It did. How many years had they spent apart? And then his dream seemed to really tie it all in. She reached up to caress his cheek. Cupping his face as she sat up to stare at him. "It's okay. I'm still here. And I'll never leave." A smile broke out onto her face, as small as it was, it was at least there. It was real. Just like her. She leaned over to wrap her arms around him and hug him carefully. She suddenly worried about hurting him then. As if she could hurt him at all. Not just from brute strength, which she did not have.
He was being spoiled. That was it. Someone thought he deserved something good and that was why he had found her again. Though his ribs were still sore and he was bruised and nearly every muscle in his body was aching, he hugged Jinah back tighter than he had hugged anyone in a long long time. To have someone here, saying she'd stay here and him absolutely believing her, was indescribable.
"You better not," was all he managed to grumble.
Hearing him grumble only brought a smile to her face. Rubbing the back of his head gently, she wondered if he sustained any injuries. He did say, 'his ass was kicked' or something along those lines. "We should head inside..." She whispered, stroking his back lightly. She didn't want to pull away until he was ready.