The Art of Being Hummus
*** I feel obligated to include a disclaimer at the beginning of this post, because I know I'm extremely lucky to have a job, let alone a salaried position in my field. And my coworkers are incredibly talented and stellar human beings. But I don't think just because I'm lucky I have to be totally satisfied and complacent. ***
I knew that taking a job in Detroit meant I was signing myself up for a 45 minute to 1+ hour highway commute each day both ways, but I'm a year-and-a-half in to it now, and I haven't moved any closer to my work as I'd hoped to, and I'm sick and tired (mostly tired) of spending 10 hours a week just for commuting. It means if I want to drive to Grand Rapids to see friends and family or drive around Ypsi I'll have to do even more driving than I already do. So instead of my big-city job making me less of a recluse, it's had the opposite effect.
On a typical day, I wake up at 7, sit for an hour staring at my coffee, scramble to get ready at 8, leave the house at 8:30, arrive at work at 9:30, sit for eight hours and thirty minutes because they automatically take a thirty minute lunch out of my shift whether I take a break or not, leave work at 6, arrive home at 7. If I have to pick Kyle up at 9 from his work, I have two hours to piddle around doing housework or making food or going to store. Pick him up at 9, arrive back home at 9:20, eat dinner around 10, go to bed at 11:30, toss and turn for an hour until I fall asleep, then wake up and do the whole thing over again on a growing sleep defecit. I'm miserable from this. I'm not sure it would be any easier if my commute was shorter. Maybe if my work felt more meaningful, but that's not going to happen without a more advanced degree, and even then, I don't really know. Sitting and staring at screens and roads are my least favourite things.
Other reasons I am ready to go back to school:
I applied to seven schools and tailored nine different application letters. One each for Columbia's PhD and MA, and three for Courtauld because you can apply to up to three special focus courses:
*according to so-called experts who write guides about applying to graduate school
I knew that taking a job in Detroit meant I was signing myself up for a 45 minute to 1+ hour highway commute each day both ways, but I'm a year-and-a-half in to it now, and I haven't moved any closer to my work as I'd hoped to, and I'm sick and tired (mostly tired) of spending 10 hours a week just for commuting. It means if I want to drive to Grand Rapids to see friends and family or drive around Ypsi I'll have to do even more driving than I already do. So instead of my big-city job making me less of a recluse, it's had the opposite effect.
On a typical day, I wake up at 7, sit for an hour staring at my coffee, scramble to get ready at 8, leave the house at 8:30, arrive at work at 9:30, sit for eight hours and thirty minutes because they automatically take a thirty minute lunch out of my shift whether I take a break or not, leave work at 6, arrive home at 7. If I have to pick Kyle up at 9 from his work, I have two hours to piddle around doing housework or making food or going to store. Pick him up at 9, arrive back home at 9:20, eat dinner around 10, go to bed at 11:30, toss and turn for an hour until I fall asleep, then wake up and do the whole thing over again on a growing sleep defecit. I'm miserable from this. I'm not sure it would be any easier if my commute was shorter. Maybe if my work felt more meaningful, but that's not going to happen without a more advanced degree, and even then, I don't really know. Sitting and staring at screens and roads are my least favourite things.
Other reasons I am ready to go back to school:
- I've had 3 bosses in 1.5 years because my department keeps being shuffled around to different managers.
- No one outside our department understands or appreciates the work that we do, which is both disheartening and also mind-blowing, because you would think that maintaining the collection would be a top priority for an art museum.
- Zero job security because since no one sees my value I'm at risk of being laid off. Despite the fact that my team is great, and does things like meeting project goals 6 months ahead of schedule.
- Despite having a higher wage than I've ever made, I am broke all the time. Commuting is time-consuming but perhaps more significantly it's expensive. My $215/mo. car payment plus my $206/mo. insurance payment, plus more gas than I'm prepared to count just gobbles up my salary. Of course I didn't expect to be making a lot of money working an entry-level position, but I had hoped that being salaried would mean I wouldn't still be living paycheck-to-paycheck.
- I've come to realise that I'm only really satisfied when I'm busy and in the process of striving for something, and right now I'm feeling myself stagnating physically and intellectually.
I applied to seven schools and tailored nine different application letters. One each for Columbia's PhD and MA, and three for Courtauld because you can apply to up to three special focus courses:
- UC Berkeley (PhD, Art History) - I'm a assuming this is a rejection because I haven't heard from them. Update: Rejected.
- Northwestern University (PhD, Art History) - Rejected with a generic email to check the application website on Saturday.
- Columbia University (MA and PhD, Art History) - Rejected from the PhD programme but they said they will consider me for the MA programme, which I won't be able to afford anyway. Update: Accepted to MA!
- UC Riverside (PhD, Art History) - I interviewed with a professor in early February and she emailed me last week to say I was waitlisted. I don't think their funding situation is as reliable as other programmes, so maybe it's for the best. A curatorial internship at the California Museum of Photography was on the table though, so that's a bit disappointing.
- Tufts University (MA, Art History) - The Dept. chair called me last week to tell me I was accepted and that I have a scholarship to cover 50% of the tuition. This is a good programme and I'm glad to have more than one option. Update: They also offered $1250 inrelocation assistance.
- Courtauld Institute of Art at the University of London (MA, Art History) - I got a generic acceptance email in February, which was surprising because usually they give interviews. I'll find out in April if I've got a scholarship, but it's usually rare for international students to get them. Still, it's a 9-month programme at a non-US school, so it would cost about the same as Tufts. This is probably my first choice right now. Update: Still my first choice.
- San Francisco Art Institute (MA, History and Theory of Contemporary Art) - I interviewed with a professor last week and it was very positive. The professor, school, and programme seem amazing but unless I get a fellowship I wouldn't be able to afford attending a private college in the most expensive city in the US. Update: Accepted with a small scholarship.
*according to so-called experts who write guides about applying to graduate school