Grr and argh
Lindsay and I just got into our first real major fight. I asked to have an open relationship and she wasn't fond of the idea. The last week and a half I have just felt on edge and claustrophobic and just fucking crazy. We yelled and screamed and resolved to try it for 2 weeks and I promised that if she didn't like it I would never bring it up again. I love her, I really, really, do but I get scared. I'm 22 and she's 19 forever is a fucking long time just to be with one person. I'm just so frustrated and angry that my feelings are always marginalized and I am always the one to apologize even if I was right. I hate conflict, I do. I would rather be miserable than to fight. I don't care if I am getting my needs met I just don't want her to leave me now. Just reading that last sentence makes me feel selfish. Why can't I find happiness in one person? Why am I such a bad person?