(no subject)
I'm tired of feeling so down. I'm sick of not being there. I'm sick of not having anyone there. I'm sick of annoying. I'm sick of being annoyed. I'd say it's all worth it if I thought that the thought was returned, but I'd bet my next pay check on the fact that it isn't, and so I'm tired of being so god damn obsolete. Tired of always wondering. I'm just someone to take it out on so that a mask can be worn in the presence of everyone else that doesn't care half as much as I do- people who deserve it less. I wanted it more. I still do, but I just don't fucking care anymore. I give up. If you let someone fall to pieces they wonder why you weren't there, but if you try to be there for them, they push you away and wonder what is wrong with you.