There's a first time for everything....
Hey Journal people,
Lifes been interseting lately. I've been getting really sick on and off all the time. Sort of liek getting the flu two days a week. So finally after three weeks of this getting sick stuff i went to the ER. I got an IV and got druged up. I feel sooo much better now. Me adn my mom stayed entertained cause there was a drunk lady in there talking abou thow she was gonna fire everyone, and all this stuff.They wouldn't even put me in the room next to her cause they didn't want me to "hear the profanity". HA! Obveously they haven't been to a high school recently. But next to the lady or not you could hear her yell all the way down the hall. Plus to add to the week, my boyfriend went to Texas for a week:(. That's deffinatly not making things anymore fun. It's so hard not to have him here to hold me and to kiss me and tell me everythings going to be okay. That's what i want the most, just to have him here to hold me and tell me everythigns going to be okay. Have you ever not wanted to burden people with your problems? I hate that. It's like the one person you know can make things better for you is the one person you want to see happy all the time. And telling that person that your having problems is like draging them down. I don't know it's just me. Sadly for my bofriend I have too many health problems to save him from the drama. I just wish I could be perfect for him. To always know what to say, always feel perfect, an dbe the fun perky person wanted. I hope he knows I try....i guess that's all there is to do is hope. I think people look at tough love wrong. I think people look at tough love as more of a arguing fighting kind of tough. I on the other hand look at tough love as having to see the person you love sad. Having to watch them be sick all the time and knowing that theres nothing you can do to stop the pain, whether it be emotional or physical. I think thats what tough love is...its just being in love and watching that person go through hard times. I just need my boyfriedn to come home. I need that person to talk to, that person to hold me, that person thats smile makes me smile. At the same time theres still the whole thing about the needing to be there for the other. I know how much fun my boyfriend is probably having in Texas, and why would i want him here if all ill do is bring him down and be boring cause i feel liek crap. Theres so much stuff. I feel selfish wanting him home, but its imposible to aviod. It's so hard not being able to talk or see the love of your life, your best friend. Well Journalers, I'm out. Time to go lay down and get some rest.
Love always,
The Girl With Never Ending Thoughts
Lifes been interseting lately. I've been getting really sick on and off all the time. Sort of liek getting the flu two days a week. So finally after three weeks of this getting sick stuff i went to the ER. I got an IV and got druged up. I feel sooo much better now. Me adn my mom stayed entertained cause there was a drunk lady in there talking abou thow she was gonna fire everyone, and all this stuff.They wouldn't even put me in the room next to her cause they didn't want me to "hear the profanity". HA! Obveously they haven't been to a high school recently. But next to the lady or not you could hear her yell all the way down the hall. Plus to add to the week, my boyfriend went to Texas for a week:(. That's deffinatly not making things anymore fun. It's so hard not to have him here to hold me and to kiss me and tell me everythings going to be okay. That's what i want the most, just to have him here to hold me and tell me everythigns going to be okay. Have you ever not wanted to burden people with your problems? I hate that. It's like the one person you know can make things better for you is the one person you want to see happy all the time. And telling that person that your having problems is like draging them down. I don't know it's just me. Sadly for my bofriend I have too many health problems to save him from the drama. I just wish I could be perfect for him. To always know what to say, always feel perfect, an dbe the fun perky person wanted. I hope he knows I try....i guess that's all there is to do is hope. I think people look at tough love wrong. I think people look at tough love as more of a arguing fighting kind of tough. I on the other hand look at tough love as having to see the person you love sad. Having to watch them be sick all the time and knowing that theres nothing you can do to stop the pain, whether it be emotional or physical. I think thats what tough love is...its just being in love and watching that person go through hard times. I just need my boyfriedn to come home. I need that person to talk to, that person to hold me, that person thats smile makes me smile. At the same time theres still the whole thing about the needing to be there for the other. I know how much fun my boyfriend is probably having in Texas, and why would i want him here if all ill do is bring him down and be boring cause i feel liek crap. Theres so much stuff. I feel selfish wanting him home, but its imposible to aviod. It's so hard not being able to talk or see the love of your life, your best friend. Well Journalers, I'm out. Time to go lay down and get some rest.
Love always,
The Girl With Never Ending Thoughts