Star-cruch rocks!
So...today was pretty fun.
School was blah, but later, me and har hung out after school. We went to piano, then to my grandmothers for my aunt and uncles aniversery and all. We normally get together for dinner at any event, but today was the not only their aniversery, but mine and bruces baptism date and the day that my grandfather passed away.
So we went there, me and har made spiggettie and all, then i took har home and Amanda and Jarrad came here and we all hung out and played cards.
I think the best part though, was talking to Trevor or the white dog who chased his tail for about....4 hours or something, it was great!
But yeah....
On another note, ive kind of had something bothering me a little. I havnt really talked with about it to anyone or even written it down, so im hoping that this will help.
But, Mac told me some things about Clay, and although they're nothing to really freak about, im just kind of scared i guess.
It wasnt anything bad like someone else says that their dating him or something, but Hillary said something like him and Gene broke up a little before christmas because when he went to Lousianna, he wasnt going to visit her the couple of times he came back for a day. Then she said that her(hillary) and Clay are really close and when they talked, he hadnt said anything really about dating me, but he did mention me she said.
I know its nothing to worry about really, i mean, although Gene and him broke up not long before me and him started hanging out, at least it wasnt dating her and if it was because of something like that, it probly wasnt that strong of a relationship. Then the whole not visiting while he was down, if he was this time (i think once was actually when he was here for new years when we hung out) then im assuming he just wanted to spend time with his family, makes sense. Then the whole not saying were dating, he could be like me and not really like saying "oh yeah, im dating so-and-so" and at least he mentioned me and she said it wasnt anything bad, infact it was that he liked hanging with me and all.
But its not that that scares me.
What scares me is that i really like him, and i dont know if he was just using me to try and get into my pants before he left. I dont really think that was his intentions because it was like...4 days before he left that he first called me. And then the things hes said and done seems like he really does want to be with me. But i dont know that part of him too well and his friends that i know are the ones who hook up with really pretty, skinny girls for about a week until another one comes around. And i fear that he was just wanting someone there for a bit before he left. I dont know...but it scares me because i do care for him. Im scared that when he comes back, he wont call me or anything and when i do see him around, he'll just turn to his friends and laugh or something. I dont know....i hate trust and all.
Part of me wants to not even think about that, but just everything sweet and nice and amazing hes done for me in just a few days. The few moments we were together, he made me feel better than i have in years. He just took my breath away with every kiss and lifted my heart with every word spoken. and although i want to just think that once he gets back, every day will be like that, part of me wont allow it. It has those thoughts of him leaving me tapping into every pleasent though, sending my heart to drop and my hopes to fall as well
I guess ill just have to wait and see
but yeah....now that i got it off my chest
Everything else has been okay. Things at home have been better and at school too, and now i dont have to play in the ensamble so yeah.....
Things are looking up
School was blah, but later, me and har hung out after school. We went to piano, then to my grandmothers for my aunt and uncles aniversery and all. We normally get together for dinner at any event, but today was the not only their aniversery, but mine and bruces baptism date and the day that my grandfather passed away.
So we went there, me and har made spiggettie and all, then i took har home and Amanda and Jarrad came here and we all hung out and played cards.
I think the best part though, was talking to Trevor or the white dog who chased his tail for about....4 hours or something, it was great!
But yeah....
On another note, ive kind of had something bothering me a little. I havnt really talked with about it to anyone or even written it down, so im hoping that this will help.
But, Mac told me some things about Clay, and although they're nothing to really freak about, im just kind of scared i guess.
It wasnt anything bad like someone else says that their dating him or something, but Hillary said something like him and Gene broke up a little before christmas because when he went to Lousianna, he wasnt going to visit her the couple of times he came back for a day. Then she said that her(hillary) and Clay are really close and when they talked, he hadnt said anything really about dating me, but he did mention me she said.
I know its nothing to worry about really, i mean, although Gene and him broke up not long before me and him started hanging out, at least it wasnt dating her and if it was because of something like that, it probly wasnt that strong of a relationship. Then the whole not visiting while he was down, if he was this time (i think once was actually when he was here for new years when we hung out) then im assuming he just wanted to spend time with his family, makes sense. Then the whole not saying were dating, he could be like me and not really like saying "oh yeah, im dating so-and-so" and at least he mentioned me and she said it wasnt anything bad, infact it was that he liked hanging with me and all.
But its not that that scares me.
What scares me is that i really like him, and i dont know if he was just using me to try and get into my pants before he left. I dont really think that was his intentions because it was like...4 days before he left that he first called me. And then the things hes said and done seems like he really does want to be with me. But i dont know that part of him too well and his friends that i know are the ones who hook up with really pretty, skinny girls for about a week until another one comes around. And i fear that he was just wanting someone there for a bit before he left. I dont know...but it scares me because i do care for him. Im scared that when he comes back, he wont call me or anything and when i do see him around, he'll just turn to his friends and laugh or something. I dont know....i hate trust and all.
Part of me wants to not even think about that, but just everything sweet and nice and amazing hes done for me in just a few days. The few moments we were together, he made me feel better than i have in years. He just took my breath away with every kiss and lifted my heart with every word spoken. and although i want to just think that once he gets back, every day will be like that, part of me wont allow it. It has those thoughts of him leaving me tapping into every pleasent though, sending my heart to drop and my hopes to fall as well
I guess ill just have to wait and see
but yeah....now that i got it off my chest
Everything else has been okay. Things at home have been better and at school too, and now i dont have to play in the ensamble so yeah.....
Things are looking up