"The only ones who understand are characters from books that ive read:"-me
So yeah.....
Latly has kind of sucked.
Schools been boring, my mom was sick and now ive caught it and i spent the whole day laying around choughing my head off and wanting to just shoot myself. Then everyone just seems to....i dont know, i just feel as though no one cares about me and i just want to get up and leave and just start a whole new life as someone else, anywere other than here.
Things at home have been the worse they've ever been. I pretend that they're not that bad, and try to force a smile and laugh when i talk about it, but they're bad. Then i havnt been sleeping at all latly, not even my regular hour or so every other day. I dont know....i dont know if i can make it. I was thinking about calling Mr. Bladridge again sometime soon because the razor is becoming my only friend again.
I miss Clay. I miss him so much. I know that probly sounds foolish, being as we just got together and hes been gone for a week, but when i talk to him, all my troubles seem to melt away, even if just for the moment. He brings me into our own little world where nothing, not even the problems from home, can reach us. I think hes one of the only people that understands me. He's been through a lot himself, and his home life is similar to mine. Hes also the only who truly seems to care. And when he holds me, and wispers into my ear that the feeling of my heart beating aginst his chest is the music that makes him happy to be alive....what can i do but melt in his arms and actually feel as though life is worth living.
I dont know.....I guess making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel, now, isnt it?
"this is where you hold my hand and we'll wait for something profound to appear.....
......I know it will"
Latly has kind of sucked.
Schools been boring, my mom was sick and now ive caught it and i spent the whole day laying around choughing my head off and wanting to just shoot myself. Then everyone just seems to....i dont know, i just feel as though no one cares about me and i just want to get up and leave and just start a whole new life as someone else, anywere other than here.
Things at home have been the worse they've ever been. I pretend that they're not that bad, and try to force a smile and laugh when i talk about it, but they're bad. Then i havnt been sleeping at all latly, not even my regular hour or so every other day. I dont know....i dont know if i can make it. I was thinking about calling Mr. Bladridge again sometime soon because the razor is becoming my only friend again.
I miss Clay. I miss him so much. I know that probly sounds foolish, being as we just got together and hes been gone for a week, but when i talk to him, all my troubles seem to melt away, even if just for the moment. He brings me into our own little world where nothing, not even the problems from home, can reach us. I think hes one of the only people that understands me. He's been through a lot himself, and his home life is similar to mine. Hes also the only who truly seems to care. And when he holds me, and wispers into my ear that the feeling of my heart beating aginst his chest is the music that makes him happy to be alive....what can i do but melt in his arms and actually feel as though life is worth living.
I dont know.....I guess making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel, now, isnt it?
"this is where you hold my hand and we'll wait for something profound to appear.....
......I know it will"