i thought maybe i was content...

[xounlovedxo]

i read allisons journal, and i had a back flash, of me telling david i woouldnt go out with him cause he was just trying to find a replacement, i told him that he was only going to hurt me, and he said that it wasnt true that he was trying to be happy, and being with me would make him happy, and the first couple of days it did.

slit my wrists, hope to die, a thousand needles in my thigh

im so tired of cutting, blah, i dont want to no more, i am so scared, i dont want to i just want everything to be oaky. i want everything just to go away. i cry myself to sleep, thinking that what i was always so scared to happen with me and david mite actually happen. and i would do anything for it not to, im tired of being weak, and im tired of being inlove, so far twice, i should have learnt from the first time, but even that i did, it doesnt change anything.

i wanna fall asleep and never wake up. im pretty much feeling like i did when i took all those tylenol pms. nothing happened except a whole lot of sleeping. a whole fucking lot. it shoold have killed me, everything would be fine, everyone would be so much happier if it killed me...if it killed me, everything would be so easier for the people i love, al i do is complicate thier lifes, im only in there way. the wont overcome me, pass me by. to go on and be happy. they just stand in front of me waiting for me to walk, but i never move.