I'm baaaack
So I stopped using this like way back in April.
I decided that I wanna start using it again.
So therefore, I'm going to...even though no one ever reads it.
So um yeah. Everything has been kinda sucky lately. Ok, so VERY sucky. Everyone is leaving me for college where they'll have new experiences with new people making new friends. I just hope no one forgets about me. I don't regret not going to school because I know right now it's the best thing for me, but still, I'm gonna miss everyone like crazy. I've cried myself to sleep every night since Friday. Last night I didn't. And I'm hoping tonight I don't either, though I was a little while ago so I probably will. It's the only place I can actually cry and not have to worry about my family being all "are you ok? what's wrong?" UMMM do you really wanna know? EVERYTHING IS WRONG. I just wanna be happy. I don't wanna have a worry right now. It's summer, I should be enjoying the rest of it. But I can't. And it just sucks. My heart isn't whole anymore and I've done some things I'm not proud of. I'm scrambling trying to put everything back together, when in reality, I can't. And if I can, it won't be for a long time. I hate feeling this way. Amanda is leaving Saturday so tonight I spent the night with her for a few hours. Eddie left on Sunday for the Marines which has made me very sad. I am soooo proud of him and know it's gonna be so good for him, I'm just gonna miss talking to him...and seeing him. It's like, two of my best friends are leaving me within 1 week. That's crazy. I wish things could stay the same :(
On a much, much brighter note...I leave bright and early Friday morning for 6 days in North Carolina. I'm excited about that. It should be a fun time with Alyson. It's our first time EVER flying though. Haha that should be entertaining. Mostly me...I'm gonna be a wreck. I'm already paranoid we're gonna crash and die. Deff not the way I should be thinking. But what can ya do?
So I'm gonna go and finish getting things ready for the trip. Plus, I'm not even remotely tired right now so I'll probably watch stupid MTV reality tv shows...wait? Are there even any on?
Nitenite loves <33
I decided that I wanna start using it again.
So therefore, I'm going to...even though no one ever reads it.
So um yeah. Everything has been kinda sucky lately. Ok, so VERY sucky. Everyone is leaving me for college where they'll have new experiences with new people making new friends. I just hope no one forgets about me. I don't regret not going to school because I know right now it's the best thing for me, but still, I'm gonna miss everyone like crazy. I've cried myself to sleep every night since Friday. Last night I didn't. And I'm hoping tonight I don't either, though I was a little while ago so I probably will. It's the only place I can actually cry and not have to worry about my family being all "are you ok? what's wrong?" UMMM do you really wanna know? EVERYTHING IS WRONG. I just wanna be happy. I don't wanna have a worry right now. It's summer, I should be enjoying the rest of it. But I can't. And it just sucks. My heart isn't whole anymore and I've done some things I'm not proud of. I'm scrambling trying to put everything back together, when in reality, I can't. And if I can, it won't be for a long time. I hate feeling this way. Amanda is leaving Saturday so tonight I spent the night with her for a few hours. Eddie left on Sunday for the Marines which has made me very sad. I am soooo proud of him and know it's gonna be so good for him, I'm just gonna miss talking to him...and seeing him. It's like, two of my best friends are leaving me within 1 week. That's crazy. I wish things could stay the same :(
On a much, much brighter note...I leave bright and early Friday morning for 6 days in North Carolina. I'm excited about that. It should be a fun time with Alyson. It's our first time EVER flying though. Haha that should be entertaining. Mostly me...I'm gonna be a wreck. I'm already paranoid we're gonna crash and die. Deff not the way I should be thinking. But what can ya do?
So I'm gonna go and finish getting things ready for the trip. Plus, I'm not even remotely tired right now so I'll probably watch stupid MTV reality tv shows...wait? Are there even any on?
Nitenite loves <33