(no subject)
Seriously. Can shit get any worse?
So like you all know I am always depressed about Josh, right? Right. Well, anyway tonight I call my grandma. She informs me that she had a stroke a few days ago and NO ONE seemed to inform me about it. WTF?
If I'm not upset about one thing it's another. So I thought Josh was all I was going to have on my mind to be upset about. I was totally wrong about that. Now I am going to be worrying about my grandma 24/7. I can't believe that none of my family called me to tell me.
I lived with ym grandma from the time I was 6 mths old untill I was 15. I am really close to that woman. If anyhting happens to her I WILL lose it. She has been through so much in the past 7 years...cancer (3 diffrent kinds), bad heart, ton's of different surguries...just so many different healt problems.
I found this all out tonight because I called her. I've been trying to reach her all week pretty much but never got an answer untill tonight and now I know why. So yeah she told me what happend....but not only did she have a stroke but they did a MRI and found a mass in her brain. :-( So they have no idea yet if it's a tumor/cancer/or what. I am worried fucking sick.
I hate this shit. Please everyone pray for my grandma. I really can't lose another person in my life. Not now anyway.
This is what keeps me sane......
That was Cadence earlier today after eating a few oreo's with her lunch. She was covered with them, so she had to go straight to the bathtub when she finished.
Seriously.....that child is what keeps me going. She is my soul. I love her more then words could ever describe. I know I say this all the time and you guys are probably tired of hearing it....but just wait till you have a child on your own and you will understand. She has changed my life in so many way and I don't regret that at all. She has made my life complete and go round. I couldn't even imagine today not having her. I look forward to getting up every morning and living my life because I know as soon as I go into her room to get her out of bed she'll be standing up in her crib waiting on me. And when I open that door she gasps loudly and starts smiling. That smile is what makes me feel like I can do anything. Every morning and every night before she goes to bed we watch a movie together and cuddle. I love those times. We play with toys, we play peek-a-boo....and that's what I'd rather be doing then anything else in the world. <3 <3 <3
She is my sunshine.