about trees and empty forests. chapter 13. part 2.
After a very long day at the office, Dave finally returns to his apartment. He’s beyond tired but they aced that presentation and since there had been so much stress at the office because of it, he’s glad they’re done.
The best part of the day for sure had been seeing Kurt at work. He can’t really explain why it felt so nice to see him there, but his co-workers really liked him. In fact, they spent the entire day teasing Dave mercilessly; as time goes by, Dave is getting more comfortable with his co-workers but he’s finding that he’s everyone’s son or little brother at the office, and that’s kind of a pain in the ass. Sometimes it really makes him feel silly how they treat him as ‘junior.’
At least they don’t do that when it comes to actual work. Yet, for them having met Kurt, his supposed boyfriend… Dave felt the same way as when his father and his uncle congratulated him because he shaved for the first time: awkward.
It made Dave laugh, though, and that’s good enough.
He takes off his jacket and loosens his tie as he closes the door behind him. He takes a deep breath because even if he’s quite pleased about the earlier presentation, he’s feeling a very big craving for chicken wings and he’s been trying to suppress it the entire way home. Dave’s about to give up, and he’s almost reaching for his phone to order delivery when he notices light coming from his bedroom. Dave frowns; maybe Kurt left the TV on this morning?
He leaves his bag on the couch and heads towards his bedroom, untucking his shirt along the way, but then stops dead in his tracks when the light from the TV illuminates Kurt’s sleeping figure. Dave instantly smiles.
Trying not to make much noise, Dave sits at the edge of the bed and watches Kurt sleep for a few seconds. Immediately, he wonders why Kurt’s even there. Not that he minds, since getting back from work and finding Kurt at home is actually a very pleasant surprise. But they're not supposed to see each other again until tomorrow night, so Dave worries that there must be something wrong.
Dave carefully shakes the sleeping young man, who just stirs quietly.
“Kurt?”
Dave smiles again, watching Kurt stretching lazily, and then he finally opens his eyes. Kurt blinks once, twice, frowning at Dave, obviously confused, until he suddenly sits up in bed.
“Dave?! Oh, god, Dave, you’re home! I’m so sorry!” Kurt jumps out of bed, not even realizing that Dave tries to catch him, and starts looking for his shoes. “What time is it? Jesus, it must be super late! I’m sorry, I’m not supposed to be here, I just overslept and I didn’t even mean to fall asleep on the first place-”
“Kurt…”
“I swear, it’ll never happen again. I’m going to go, so-”
“Kurt,” Dave cuts him off, almost pleading, holding Kurt by his arm and making him still.
Kurt stares at him while holding one shoe in his hand, biting his lower lip like he’s a kid who’s been caught doing something wrong.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt whispers, visibly embarrassed and looking away. “I’d better go.”
“No, don’t go,” Dave replies quietly, because Kurt is right there so why is he even going to leave?
“What?”
“Stay. You don’t have to work tonight, right?” Kurt shakes his head no. “Then stay. C’mon, you’re already here.”
“I shouldn’t be here, David. I totally crossed the line this time and…”
“Oh, c’mon it’s not such a big deal!”
The last thing Dave wants is for Kurt to feel wretched about something that actually makes Dave happy. Seriously, this seems to bother Kurt a huge lot. He ‘crossed the line’? Dave doesn’t even know what the hell that means. Dave wants Kurt to be comfortable at his place when Dave’s not around, and even if he knows how hard it is for Kurt to accept what he considers 'charity', this is hardly something so bad that Kurt should be looking like a kicked puppy. Because of that, Dave suspects Kurt is upset about something else.
“It is, Dave! God, I stayed here for the entire day while you were away! I totally and unscrupulously abused your trust!”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kurt! Do you even listen to yourself?! I don’t mind, okay? If it bothers you so much that I found you here, well, too bad for you, but know that I don’t mind at all. In fact, after this freaking long day at work-”
“See? You had a long day and instead of getting back home and relaxing, you have an intruder at your place, taking advantage of your generosity.”
Dave wants to laugh because, for some reason, he misses arguing with Kurt.
“I think you’re being overly dramatic.”
Kurt glares at him. “And I think you’re just being unnecessary kind, as usual,” he speaks icily, but Dave just glares back, only to annoy him.
“Can you at least drop that shoe?”
“I can’t go back home barefoot.”
“You don’t have to go home. As I was saying before you interrupted me with your Shakespeare-meets-soap opera drama,” Kurt glares at him, “I was going to say that after a long day at work, it’s nice not to come back to an empty house. I’m glad you’re here, so can you please stay?”
Kurt clenches his jaw. “I was here last night, and I’m supposed to be here tomorrow. I don’t know how much money you make, but nine hundred a week for my company seems like a freaking waste of money, so let go of me and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Dave didn’t realize that he’s still holding Kurt, so he releases him. Yet, Kurt’s words upset Dave a lot; Kurt’s worth all the money in the world and at the same time, Kurt shouldn’t be with someone for money. But right now Kurt’s here and Dave really doesn’t want to watch him go.
Dave decides to compromise. “Stay tonight and we’ll skip tomorrow.”
Kurt stares at him for long seconds; staying or not seems to be a big debate in Kurt’s head, and it only raises Dave’s suspicions. He’s now sure that something happened with Kurt, because he wasn’t like this when they met this morning. Kurt was content, or at least he seemed to be. Dave doesn’t know how late Kurt usually stays at his apartment after Dave goes to work, but now that he thinks back he remembers Kurt acted all guilty about still being there this morning, too. And the way he's so upset now, it's obvious that something made Kurt come back to his apartment, and that something is probably behind why staying seems to weigh on Kurt’s mind.
“Okay, I’ll stay,” Kurt says quietly, dropping his shoe on the floor.
Dave nods, swallowing hard. He doesn’t want to look worried, but Kurt is upset and by deciding to stay, Dave gets that Kurt also needs comfort and - uncharacteristically for Kurt - he’s actually accepting it; seeking it. Maybe not Dave’s comfort, but at least the protection that Dave’s apartment provides. Or maybe Dave is reading too much into the situation, but he can’t help it.
He quickly tries to organize what’s next. Act normal, that’s a must; Dave knows he shouldn’t press Kurt’s buttons when he’s upset for real. Order food, watch a movie, drink coffee and have sex; it’s as easy as that, a routine they’ve been building for weeks. Kurt being there on a different day, it doesn’t make any difference.
“We should order-”
Kurt is suddenly kissing him hard and hungrily. It catches Dave off guard and he frowns to himself, but he kisses back anyway, even if he does not have a good feeling about this. Kurt’s arms are around Dave’s neck, practically clinging to him and Dave holds him tight in an attempt to contain him somehow. Kurt’s hands quickly find the buttons of Dave’s shirt and in a matter of seconds, Dave’s shirt and pants are on the floor, along with half of Kurt’s clothes. They don’t stop kissing, not even for a second.
Dave’s hot; of course he’s always hot and horny whenever Kurt wants him. Even if they’ve been having sex for months, there are still moments when Dave goes all Oh, my God. I’m having sex with Kurt Hummel, the realization hitting him like that very first time together, skeptical at his own luck, and he goes with it because he cannot miss the incredible chance he's been blessed with - as if the money involved didn’t have anything to do with that chance.
Kurt pushes him back on the bed, quickly crawling on top of him, and continues to devour his mouth. Dave moans loudly, and he gets even louder when Kurt presses their groins together. They’re both equally hard; Kurt always manages to get him incredibly aroused in a matter of seconds. He’s nervous, though, and he shouldn’t be because this is sex and sex is their number one activity. Sex is what they do the most when they’re together. But there’s something in Kurt’s attitude that Dave can’t pinpoint.
It’s not the first time that Kurt has jumped him. Yet, when Kurt jumps him so straightforwardly, it’s usually because Kurt’s mad at him, or because he wants to prove a point - like ‘you pay me to fuck me.’ Right now, it’s neither of those options and Dave doesn’t know how to interpret Kurt’s actions. So Dave lets his lust drive him, because deep down he’s slightly freaking out.
“Dave,” Kurt moans between kisses, tugging Dave’s underwear.
They untangle from each other just enough to finish getting naked - almost naked in Dave’s case since he won’t take off his tee under any circumstance - and they’re back in each other’s arms, their lips and tongues colliding once again, as if they’re unable to stay apart. Even if Dave wanted to break away at least to breathe, he has the feeling Kurt wouldn’t let him.
“C’mon, Dave. I need you,” Kurt breathes out almost painfully, and a shiver runs down Dave’s spine.
Need. Kurt is needy.
Sometimes Dave wishes he was able to drop all this shit, and go to clubs and have regular uncomplicated casual sex with strangers. The last couple of weeks with Kurt have been quite easy, but there’s nothing easy about Kurt; there’s nothing easy about them together.
Kurt is practically invading him. Dave can feel Kurt all over and around himself, as if Kurt had grown three new pairs of hands, touching him everywhere at once. It’s not bad, but it’s overwhelming, because while he's had all kinds of sex - angry sex, rough sex, lazy sex, cathartic sex - Dave’s never been needed.
Kurt somehow needs him; it’s the first time that it’s explicit not only by Kurt’s words but by his actions and attitude, and Dave knows that there’s more going on than Kurt just trying to get off. Kurt needs him to temporary fix something. It’s as gratifying as it is scary; as much as Dave wants Kurt to want him for real, it's a bittersweet moment.
Dave rolls over, pinning Kurt down against the mattress, and in spite of their forceful and desperate actions, Kurt lets out a relieved sigh that melts Dave’s brain. Whatever it is that’s upsetting Kurt, Dave has to make it better even if it’s only for half an hour.
Dave provides, of course. He starts kissing and biting Kurt’s jaw, and Kurt writhes beneath him, quickly facing away to expose his neck. Dave loves that sight; Kurt’s craning his long and elegant neck, arching his back at the same time, and it makes it look even longer and Dave can’t do anything but sink down and suck bruises in the tender skin that Kurt’s showing off.
“God, yes,” Kurt moans contently as he fists Dave’s hair.
Kurt’s moving his hips upwards, frantically pressing his hard cock against Dave so Dave wastes no time grabbing the lube and condom.
Everything is fast, but unrushed. It takes Dave just a couple of minutes to have three fingers working on Kurt’s entrance, but they’re both tense, impatiently waiting for what’s soon to come. Kurt grunts as Dave’s fingers work deep inside him, and Dave can see the tension in Kurt’s hands, how they clench as they fist the sheets. For some reason, Dave’s nervous as if he doesn’t know what to expect even though they’ve had sex uncountable times.
Kurt’s needs come first, though, and once Dave is sure Kurt’s prepped enough, without hesitation he pulls Kurt’s legs apart and in one quick motion shoves his cock inside Kurt. Dave’s keeps his eyes right on Kurt’s face; he needs to read this carefully, and the fact that Kurt arches his back and his mouth hands half open in a small grin, it startles Dave. It startles him that once again, Kurt looks freaking relieved and Dave doesn’t know how to embrace the fact that he’s needed so obviously much, so he focuses on the sex, solely and plainly.
“Fuck, David,” Kurt cries out as Dave starts thrusting firmly and deeply.
Kurt squirms, digging his nails in Dave’s back, scratching him all the way up to his neck and then he pulls Dave’s face down for a forceful kiss. It quickly turns into something else though; the rush and the hunger slowly fades, and Dave finds himself pressing his tongue against Kurt’s leisurely. Kurt’s not scratching him anymore, but caressing him and then Kurt sighs contently inside Dave’s mouth and Dave feels… he doesn’t know what he feels. It’s good, though; for some reason Dave feels like smiling, and he’s still thrusting inside Kurt, but now unhurried, trying to savor every second of this moment.
They break apart, and Dave finds Kurt staring at him intensely; Kurt makes no sound except for the little gasps he lets out with every thrust. There's no expression on his face, he’s not smiling or frowning or scowling or smirking. He doesn’t look pleased or happy or sad or troubled; yet Kurt’s eyes are intense, and Kurt’s staring at him, and Dave grows uncomfortable, not knowing what’s behind the way Kurt’s gaze is boring holes in his brain. So he picks up his pace, shoving his cock into Kurt harder and faster, dragging Kurt out of that trance. Everything goes back to normal; he’s moaning, Kurt’s moaning and it’s rough and perfectly safe.
It doesn’t stay that way, though, because a few minutes later, while Dave’s sitting back on his heels, Kurt’s legs resting on his shoulders, and pounding hard inside Kurt’s ass, Kurt tries to pull him forward. Dave leans over, assuming Kurt wants him closer but Kurt holds Dave’s hand as soon as it’s within reach, and gives Dave a look.
Dave swallows hard.
“Please?” Kurt asks, his voice small, making Dave feel torn between unease and excitement.
They haven’t done this since the night they talked about it. Dave believed he had managed to talk Kurt out of this kink by explaining that for Dave it’s something more than just a playful thing to do to spice up sex. It’s something strong and Dave knows that he doesn’t want to create anything strong with Kurt, because it will be strongly one sided and Dave’s usually on the losing side.
But he can’t say no to Kurt, and Kurt's clear preference only makes it easier to ignore his own good judgment. Almost as though he were powerless over his own actions, Dave puts his hand on Kurt’s perfect neck and Kurt exhales shakily, like he’s relieved that Dave’s agreeing to do this, and what the fuck does that even mean?
It doesn’t matter now, though; Dave slows down the pace of his thrusts so he can focus on this moment. He squeezes his fingers around Kurt’s throat, listening to the beautiful little gasp that Kurt lets out when he’s out of breath. It’s almost hypnotic. Dave pushes his cock deeper and harder, but not faster, keeping the pace slow just to savour the way Kurt jumps in pleasure and lets out a breathless gasp with each thrust. Dave finally lets his fingers loose; Kurt breathes in quickly but frowns in displeasure, so Dave tightens his grip around Kurt’s throat, making him smile contently.
For someone who’d never been exposed to choking before, it seems that Kurt gets it pretty well and wants to set the pace, which is somewhat scary. Even though his face is quickly turning red, Kurt looks relaxed, and while they’ve done this more than a couple of times, Dave has never seen Kurt the way he’s seeing him now: like being choked brings him peace instead of dangerous pleasure. This is not about spicing it up, Dave quickly realizes, because under his grip Kurt is hot, but he’s also calm. Somehow Kurt was knocked off balance today, and now he’s letting Dave put him back together; he’s trusting Dave with this, offering the control… his control.
Dave loosens his grip once again, just long enough for Kurt to take a deep breath, and then Dave is choking him again before he can even complain. Kurt lets out a strangled moan, writhing in ecstasy, and the sight is starting to mess with Dave’s head. It’s exhilarating watching Kurt giving himself up to this, to him. They’re not in love, the bond between them is not the one Dave wishes to have with someone he’d share this with, but fuck, this is Kurt. How can Dave walk away from this deal?
Dave speeds up, not knowing how much longer he can last since this is the freaking hottest thing he has ever done with Kurt. At some point, Kurt grunts violently and his head falls back and his mouth hangs open in breathless pants and Dave knows he hit the prostate, so he fucks Kurt harder at the same angle, hitting that spot over and over. Kurt tenses more and more, his face is furiously and beautifully red; Dave fists Kurt’s cock and it takes just two strokes to make him come.
“Dave,” Kurt cries out, low and breathless, and then he convulses, the orgasm taking him hard. Kurt’s muscles clench around Dave’s cock, pushing Dave to the very edge but he stays focused on his lover.
Dave lets Kurt go. “Deep breaths,” he commands, and Kurt nods slowly. “Just a bit more, okay?”
Close to orgasm himself, Dave thrusts inside Kurt hard and desperately; Kurt holds him tight, whimpering, since Dave is not giving him a second to rest and it's hard to catch his breath with Dave fucking him so violently. Luckily for Kurt, Dave comes right after and Kurt breathes out, relieved, as Dave’s body shakes after a blinding orgasm.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Kurt tells him quietly.
“Ugh,” Dave groans, blinking since he can only see white. He pants, his muscles grow weak and he collapses on the mattress next to Kurt.
The sound of their breathing fills the silence and in spite of being exhausted, Dave pays close attention to Kurt’s breathing and nods, reassured as he notes that Kurt’s breathing is normal; Dave didn’t hurt him, even that was by far the longest time he has ever choked Kurt.
He disposes of the condom in the floor - gross, he’ll clean up in a minute - but after a couple of minutes, Kurt is the one who rolls off the bed, just to pick up some clothes to wipe the come off his belly, and then lies back in bed.
“You need a shower, or at least to change that tee,” Kurt muses. “I could really use a shower too.”
Dave turns on his side to face Kurt and smiles at him. Kurt never looks as stunning as he does after sex; the relaxed eyes, the messy hair, the soft smile…
Kurt snuggles up to Dave and Dave just holds him close. He’s content and Kurt seems content as well; it doesn’t mean that Kurt isn't still upset, and as the post-orgasm daze starts wearing off, Dave begins to think about that.
“What happened?” Dave blurts out.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re upset.”
He cannot resist even though he's pushing his luck; Dave needs to know or the wondering won’t leave him alone. Kurt is staring at him, not particularly mad. He looks more like Dave question’s caught him off guard; like he was expecting Dave not to notice.
“Nothing.”
“C’mon, Kurt. I don’t want to make you mad, but I’m worried.”
Kurt bites his lower lip, resting his head on Dave’s shoulder. “You should not worry about me, David.”
Dave just shrugs. “Please, tell me. You were fine this morning.”
Kurt lets out a long sigh. “I went to Starbucks, after I said goodbye to you…”
Dave opens his eyes wide, since he didn’t expect that Kurt was going to tell him so easily. But he listens. After Kurt doesn't say anything more for a while, Dave asks softly, “And...?”
“I ran into Blaine.” Kurt’s sounds genuinely upset now. “You know, my first boyfriend?”
For some reason he can’t explain, Dave feels his stomach drop. Kurt looks up at him, and at the lack of response, Kurt adds, “You met him once, remember? At McKinley?”
He nods because of course he remembers Kurt's handsome, slender boyfriend. Dave remembers how upset he was about that guy, stealing Kurt away from him even though Kurt had never been his.
“Did something bad happen?” he asks after Kurt falls silent again.
“We talked a bit. He wants us to meet again,” Kurt says and shrugs. “I just, I’m sorry. I don’t really want to talk about it. But it’s nothing bad, I promise. Don’t worry about me, alright?”
Kurt even kisses his cheek in tender affection and Dave smiles at him weakly. He won’t push it; Kurt already told him and Dave is quite grateful for that. “Want to order some food while I take a shower? Anything you want.”
Kurt smiles widely now. Dave’s heart clenches. “Italian,” he says, excited, like he has a sudden craving. Dave could just eat him up; Kurt chose the food instead of throwing out his usual ‘you pick, you’re the one paying, I’m just the whore’ line.
Dave kisses him soundly, and gets up from bed. “Italian it is, then.”
It is in the shower that Dave starts freaking out. Blaine. For the first time, Dave wishes Kurt would go away so he could drown himself in another binge. He can’t explain why, but Dave feels threatened all of a sudden and something tells him that this feeling won’t fade anytime soon.