Ripripripriprip
A train zooms by and rattles the walls and my ribs.
It sounded like a short train, or maybe it's just well oiled.
Who knows?
I looked up and down the hallways and classrooms for Ben.
No sight.
I feel like he's an enigma...just comes and goes and leaves magic around.
I spent some time riping in the fiber studio with Maria.
I don't know if it's called that officically, but that's what it consists of.
Getting little toothed combs covered in fluff and making them rub up against eachother.
Back and Forth
Up and Down.
Then you peel the two halves off with more pressing.
Quite meditative, I'll say.
Decisions decisions.
It's nice to have some choices about other things for once.
I have to choose what I really want my theme to be in drawing.
Should i choose drawing from music?
Anatomical drawings of monsters with scientific diagrams?
Overly violent charactures of animals showing primal nature?
I don't know...
I want to work with wet stuff though.
No more dusty crap.
It gets places you cover and makes me feel like coughing.
Does this make me a pansy and weak?
Hell no, I'm in welding, bronzing, what have you...
I just rather be wet or smooth most of the time.
I played some bass today.
Some alone, like usual, and some with Christian.
We didn't have the best session, sometimes the energy isn't there.
And let me tell you I'm drained.
Ache Ache Ache.
I'm sleepy to boot.
Tommorow I need to crap out a bunch of shitty color drawings by Thursday...and a couple of easy papers.
Better shift.
Arguments about money.
generalizations
hypocrisy
contradictions
blahdy blah
It sounds like marriage.
I say "stop it" and bite my toungue...and it all stops.
Today there were alot of dogs out and about.
BIIIG dogs...little dogs...young pups...and old woofs.
They all looked happy.
I need a dog.
I think everyone needs a dog.
If they were capable of giving hugs...they'd be much more marketable.
Damn, I'm so sleepy.
Maria needs to finish her app. I'm worrying about that.
and I know she is.
I like the words I say to have the same impact of Clara's.
But if I was more like Clara and had her wiseness...had wiseness period...and could evoke that smile and warmth of Maria's that makes me feel like everything is right in the world...
and we broke up, Maria wouldn't have that person.
So Clara will always be there.
And while I will try to always be there, I can't come in if the door is shut.
I fear I'm going to fall asleep while writing this *yawn*
almost went out for a minute.
We're all human...we can do amazing things...but being 18 in the this position in college is what confusion is all about.
People who know exactly what they want to do with there lifes and are completely hellbent on extreme ideas are just bored.
Grandiose thinking is fantastic.
But at a certain point you realize that it's much easier to do many great little things than trying to find enlightenment.
Well it also costs a good bit of money as well.
Not everyone can afford enlightenment.
That's sad.
If I ever win the lottery I'm gonna help someone out...I really will.
Yawnyawnyawn.......
ugh
8:30 tommorow moring.
It sounded like a short train, or maybe it's just well oiled.
Who knows?
I looked up and down the hallways and classrooms for Ben.
No sight.
I feel like he's an enigma...just comes and goes and leaves magic around.
I spent some time riping in the fiber studio with Maria.
I don't know if it's called that officically, but that's what it consists of.
Getting little toothed combs covered in fluff and making them rub up against eachother.
Back and Forth
Up and Down.
Then you peel the two halves off with more pressing.
Quite meditative, I'll say.
Decisions decisions.
It's nice to have some choices about other things for once.
I have to choose what I really want my theme to be in drawing.
Should i choose drawing from music?
Anatomical drawings of monsters with scientific diagrams?
Overly violent charactures of animals showing primal nature?
I don't know...
I want to work with wet stuff though.
No more dusty crap.
It gets places you cover and makes me feel like coughing.
Does this make me a pansy and weak?
Hell no, I'm in welding, bronzing, what have you...
I just rather be wet or smooth most of the time.
I played some bass today.
Some alone, like usual, and some with Christian.
We didn't have the best session, sometimes the energy isn't there.
And let me tell you I'm drained.
Ache Ache Ache.
I'm sleepy to boot.
Tommorow I need to crap out a bunch of shitty color drawings by Thursday...and a couple of easy papers.
Better shift.
Arguments about money.
generalizations
hypocrisy
contradictions
blahdy blah
It sounds like marriage.
I say "stop it" and bite my toungue...and it all stops.
Today there were alot of dogs out and about.
BIIIG dogs...little dogs...young pups...and old woofs.
They all looked happy.
I need a dog.
I think everyone needs a dog.
If they were capable of giving hugs...they'd be much more marketable.
Damn, I'm so sleepy.
Maria needs to finish her app. I'm worrying about that.
and I know she is.
I like the words I say to have the same impact of Clara's.
But if I was more like Clara and had her wiseness...had wiseness period...and could evoke that smile and warmth of Maria's that makes me feel like everything is right in the world...
and we broke up, Maria wouldn't have that person.
So Clara will always be there.
And while I will try to always be there, I can't come in if the door is shut.
I fear I'm going to fall asleep while writing this *yawn*
almost went out for a minute.
We're all human...we can do amazing things...but being 18 in the this position in college is what confusion is all about.
People who know exactly what they want to do with there lifes and are completely hellbent on extreme ideas are just bored.
Grandiose thinking is fantastic.
But at a certain point you realize that it's much easier to do many great little things than trying to find enlightenment.
Well it also costs a good bit of money as well.
Not everyone can afford enlightenment.
That's sad.
If I ever win the lottery I'm gonna help someone out...I really will.
Yawnyawnyawn.......
ugh
8:30 tommorow moring.