calling your name but no one's there..
in this exact moment, a sadness is consuming me. listening to young alex lambert's voice sing a simple song is enough to evoke emotion from me. i guess i can consider myself lucky in that i don't really care about you all that much but you still managed to hurt me when i thought it was impossible for you to do so. you proved me wrong.
it gets harder ever day and i can't seem to shake the pain.
trying to find the words to stay, please stay.
its written all over my face,
i can't function the same when you're not there;
calling your name but no one's there.
i wish i wasn't so affected by the people around me. obviously, they play a huge role in my mood based on my interactions with them but i wish that when people affect me negatively, it didn't hurt me so much. i've done my fair share of hurting i suppose but i feel as though i've felt the necessary remorse afterwards. i recently came clean about something i knew would hurt the person i didn't want to tell. it took me a long time to finally get it out there and i did so hidden behind a screen that way i wouldn't have to see the hurt in their face. it was cowardly of me but i feel better with the air clean instead of cluttered with the du bruis of my mistake. people say to live with no regrets but i think it's nearly impossible for one to live without a single regret. i'm sure that there's something every single person would eliminate from their lives no matter how small.
i don't care what people say, they're probably lonely anyway.
baby, don't fill up your head with he said she said
it seems like you just don't know.
the radio's on, you're tuning me out;
i'm trying to speak, you're turning me down.
that said, i am keeping something from my parents only because it would cause unnecessary drama. i made a mistake and i will pay that consequence on my own. life goes on. i realize that hiding things isn't exactly the best approach on life and all of its curve balls but we'll see what happens with this one. also, karma is hitting me hard. march 19, 2011 you will find me sitting in my bed not doing anything because this day hates me. nothing ever goes right. a friend told me to forget about all of the bad things that have been happening and to focus on the good because there can only be so much bad. i really really hope she's right because i don't think i can handle another bad thing right now.
get high with me. come fly with me.
i just can't believe i let you get to me. i thought you were someone who understood. i told you to never make me feel stupid and you did exactly that. its taken three days but i'm finally feeling it in full effect. you made me look like a complete fool even if i'm the only one who sees the foolishness. yes, you are free to do whatever you want as am i but you don't see me dangling that in your face. i never felt so used until that moment. i was a mere object you could fall back on if something better didn't work out. you say you've acknowledged your mistake and you know you have fucked up a good thing but i didn't feel it. all i felt was anger piled on top of my stupidity. and you wonder why i wouldn't look you in the eye. a fault in myself in this situation though is that i do hold grudges and i wear my emotions on my sleeve sometimes more so than i think i do.
but don't play with me because you're playing with fire.
i'm not necessarily looking but i am waiting for him. the one i can open up to. the one that will like me for me and never make me feel uncomfortable, unwanted, unworthy, inadequate, unacceptable. he was right, i do deserve better. sometimes it takes time though to see a persons true colors. i know it took me longer than it should've and now i am where i am. live and learn. move on.
i saw an aussie tonight that reminded me of dakota running around in the street. natasha and i tried to rescue him but he ran away. i miss my baby.
it gets harder ever day and i can't seem to shake the pain.
trying to find the words to stay, please stay.
its written all over my face,
i can't function the same when you're not there;
calling your name but no one's there.
i wish i wasn't so affected by the people around me. obviously, they play a huge role in my mood based on my interactions with them but i wish that when people affect me negatively, it didn't hurt me so much. i've done my fair share of hurting i suppose but i feel as though i've felt the necessary remorse afterwards. i recently came clean about something i knew would hurt the person i didn't want to tell. it took me a long time to finally get it out there and i did so hidden behind a screen that way i wouldn't have to see the hurt in their face. it was cowardly of me but i feel better with the air clean instead of cluttered with the du bruis of my mistake. people say to live with no regrets but i think it's nearly impossible for one to live without a single regret. i'm sure that there's something every single person would eliminate from their lives no matter how small.
i don't care what people say, they're probably lonely anyway.
baby, don't fill up your head with he said she said
it seems like you just don't know.
the radio's on, you're tuning me out;
i'm trying to speak, you're turning me down.
that said, i am keeping something from my parents only because it would cause unnecessary drama. i made a mistake and i will pay that consequence on my own. life goes on. i realize that hiding things isn't exactly the best approach on life and all of its curve balls but we'll see what happens with this one. also, karma is hitting me hard. march 19, 2011 you will find me sitting in my bed not doing anything because this day hates me. nothing ever goes right. a friend told me to forget about all of the bad things that have been happening and to focus on the good because there can only be so much bad. i really really hope she's right because i don't think i can handle another bad thing right now.
get high with me. come fly with me.
i just can't believe i let you get to me. i thought you were someone who understood. i told you to never make me feel stupid and you did exactly that. its taken three days but i'm finally feeling it in full effect. you made me look like a complete fool even if i'm the only one who sees the foolishness. yes, you are free to do whatever you want as am i but you don't see me dangling that in your face. i never felt so used until that moment. i was a mere object you could fall back on if something better didn't work out. you say you've acknowledged your mistake and you know you have fucked up a good thing but i didn't feel it. all i felt was anger piled on top of my stupidity. and you wonder why i wouldn't look you in the eye. a fault in myself in this situation though is that i do hold grudges and i wear my emotions on my sleeve sometimes more so than i think i do.
but don't play with me because you're playing with fire.
i'm not necessarily looking but i am waiting for him. the one i can open up to. the one that will like me for me and never make me feel uncomfortable, unwanted, unworthy, inadequate, unacceptable. he was right, i do deserve better. sometimes it takes time though to see a persons true colors. i know it took me longer than it should've and now i am where i am. live and learn. move on.
i saw an aussie tonight that reminded me of dakota running around in the street. natasha and i tried to rescue him but he ran away. i miss my baby.