watch closer...do it.

[xokabiexo]

i have this friend, a great friend, who will remark on how beautiful every woman is. he will point out her best qualities, what attracts him to her, and, of course, always ends with the fact that he'd do her. and it bothers me. i used to think it was because there is still residual attraction there. and maybe there is. but right now, i think it's because, for how much i know he cares about me and how much i know i mean to him and how much we've been through, i don't think he's ever called me beautiful. i don't think he's ever pointed out my best qualities, or what is attractive about me. of course, he tells me i'm amazing and awesome, blah blah blah, because i'm the best friend. but i'm never beautiful.
and then there are boys who will always tell me i'm beautiful. but they are empty words. they are words of attraction and lust. they are physical words. they are never said to me, looking me in the eye, and truly meaning them.
i don't mean beautiful as in hot or gorgeous. i mean, all around beautiful. where just everything about that person seems perfect. and you look at them and they are just beautiful.

i don't really know what spurred this emo shit...maybe it was watching closer and the sex and lies and deception and "love". maybe it's been all the drama in my life right now no matter how much i try to run from it. maybe it's the feelings of unattractiveness recently.

"she wants to hear she's beautiful..."