Positive (Chapter 2)
Title: Positive
Author: xojemmaxo
Pairing: Ryan / Jon
Disclaimer: I don't own The Young Veins or Panic! at the Disco orRyan Ross or Jon Walker. :P
Rating: Nc - 17 in coming chapters
POV Third
Summary: Ryan looks at the little black screen where the black jellybean is suspended in grey fuzz. He feels like he might vomit.
Beta: hooray4irony
Author's Notes: This is written in a parallel universe where men can get pregnant. I don't know, they have vaginas in their asses or something. So if you don't like it, you probably shouldn't read.
The Telling of the Bad News (Chapter One)
Jon convinces Ryan to change the abortion on Saturday to an ultrasound the Sunday a week later. Ryan didn't want to agree to him, at first, thinking that once he had the ultrasound he would somehow get attached to the mass of cells. But then he realises it would be kind of hard to get attached to a bunch of cells growing inside him like fucking... cancer, and so agrees.
The doctor's clinic is a cheap one. There are four blue plastic seats in the waiting room and two are occupied by a young, worried - looking woman and, next to her, a small child. The small child is dripping from the nose with snot. Ryan's stomach lurches when he remembers he might have be having one of them.
Jon speaks to the receptionist, telling her about the appointment they're on time for, but she shakes her head and motions to the blue seats. Jon sighs and moves to sit in the blue chair furthest away from the dripping child, but Ryan grabs his arm.
"What?" asks Jon, staring down at Ryan's hand, which is gripping kind of painfully.
"I'm not sitting next to that," hisses Ryan. "Look at it. It is dripping and contageous."
Jon rolls his eyes affectionately and sits next to the child, motioning for Ryan to sit down too. He does, watching the kid with narrowed eyes.
Jon grabs Ryan's hand after they've been sitting there for a little while. He smiles and tugs Ryan's hand onto his thigh and makes soothing circles on the back of Ryan's hand with his thumb.
The woman and child are called in. The kid is called Henry. Ryan makes a face.
"You okay?" asks Jon almost ten minutes later, when no doctor has come out and asked for them yet. "You look pissed off at something."
Ryan feels even more pissed off now that Jon has said something. He is pissed off, but he doesn't know why he's pissed off. He can't pin the blame on the snotty child, Henry, because he's still with the doctor. And it's not Jon, because the circles he's rubbing into Ryan's hand are nice and Ryan doesn't want him to stop. He knows he's not pissed off at the doctor because she's taking too long, because he could honestly sit in this seat forever if he had to. He's just pissed off for no reason, and the realisation makes him even more pissed off.
"I'm not pissed off," Ryan tells Jon.
"Yeah, you are," says Jon. "You're making that cute face you do when you're annoyed." He uses a babyish tone and stops rubbing Ryan's hand as he speaks, and Ryan doesn't like Jon anymore.
"It's you," he says, jerking his hand out of Jon's grip.
"You're pissed off at me? Why?" asks Jon.
"I just am," says Ryan. "And you're being a smartass."
Before Jon can make a comeback, the doctor comes back out with Henry and his mother in tow and says to the waiting room, "Ryan Ross and Jon Walker?"
"That's us," says Jon cheerfully. Ryan gets up quickly and tries to abandon Jon but Jon just grabs hold of Ryan's hand again, forcing him to walk at the same pace as himself and look like a lovey - dovey couple for all the world to see.
The doctor looks touched.
"I'm Dr. White. Are you two here for the ultrasound?" she asks. Ryan wants to say 'well, duh, how many other pregnant Ryan Rosses and Jon Walkers are in the empty waiting room?' but Jon's digging his nails into the palm of his hand and it kind of hurts, so Ryan just nods.
"Okay. Come right this way," she says, and sweeps along the short corridor and into another room with Jon dragging Ryan along behind them.
Swear to god, Ryan almost gags when he sees the inside of the room. A myriad of pink elephants in blue hot air balloons are floating on the walls, which are painted baby blue. There is a teddy bear sitting in the corner. Ryan closes his eyes for a few seconds but when he opens them again, it's still there. He wonders why this room is decorated for infants when only pregnant people are coming in here.
"Just sit on this for me," the doctor says, and breaks Ryan out of his thoughts. He glances at her. She's pointing to a reclining chair thing next to a small tv on a tray. There is another blue chair next to the reclining chair thing. Jon lets go of Ryan's hand as he clambers onto the chair thing, lying back on it as the doctor directs.
Jon pulls the chair up near Ryan's head and sits down. Ryan looks at him and Jon grabs his hand again, rubbing his thumb over Ryan's knuckles this time.
Ryan smiles a little and Jon smiles back.
"Can you tell me how long you've been pregnant for?" Dr. White asks Ryan. She's looking through a cupboard on the wall opposite.
"I don't know," says Ryan. "That's why we came here." He tries to make his voice as non - sarcastic as possible, but Jon raises his eyebrows and Ryan knows he failed.
"I see." The doctor turns around with a tube of... stuff. She doesn't look offended, so Ryan guesses she either doesn't understand sarcasm or she's just incredibly stupid. If there are any scalpels or sharp objects in the room, he wants her nowhere near his abdomen.
"Okay." Dr. White stands over Ryan and pushes his shirt up past his abdomen, where it bunches around his chest. He feels terribly undignified. "This is going to be cold," she adds, which Ryan is glad she does, because when she squirts the blue ultrasound jelly onto Ryan's skin, it is fucking cold, and at least he's prepared.
The doctor turns the small tv on. There is a black screen with numbers at the bottom. She gets out an ultrasound... probe? Ryan isn't sure what to call it, hooks it up to the tv, and sits down on the side of Ryan opposite to Jon.
"Here we go," she tells them as she brings the probe onto Ryan's abdomen, into the blue jelly, and moves it around, frowning at the black screen and getting blue shit everywhere. If she gets it on Ryan's shirt, he will poke her in the eye.
It takes about seven minutes of the doctor gliding the probe around on Ryan's abdomen for her to find anything. Ryan begins to wonder, hopefully, that maybe the four pregnancy tests were all wrong and he doesn't have a thing growing inside him. But then she gives a little exclamation and the probe is still. Ryan doesn't see anything different on the screen, except there's a lot of grey fuzz now.
"Is that the baby?" asks Jon eagerly. He leans over Ryan a little to get a better look. Ryan rolls his eyes.
"Yes," says Dr. White, just as eagerly. She points to a black smudge in the middle of the screen. It looks like a liquorice flavoured jellybean, only a little bigger.
"That's a baby?" asks Ryan incredulously, but the other two are too busy babbling excitedly to notice him. He gives them to the count of thirty until he interrupts again.
"So how old is this thing?" he asks loudly.
"Hm? Oh, six or seven weeks," Dr. White says.
Ryan feels a little naseous. Six or seven weeks was way later than he'd hoped for.
"And how long can you get an abortion for during pregnancy?" he asks her in a daze. Jon looks at him with a scandalized look, but Ryan hardly notices.
"Oh, around six weeks," says the doctor. "It changes a little in different hospitals."
"Oh my god," says Ryan. His head is spinning and he can vaguely hear the doctor and Jon discussing something, but it's background noise compared to the sound of his world crumbling down around his ears. If he can't get an abortion... Ryan feels sick.
"Ryan," Jon's saying. "Ryan, look."
Ryan looks at the little black screen where the black jellybean is suspended in grey fuzz. He feels like he might vomit. There's no way out.
"That's its heartbeat," says Jon in enrapturement. Ryan has never heard Jon sound like that before. Ryan looks at the slight twitching of one side of the jellybean and thinks it's nothing to be in enrapturement about.
Author: xojemmaxo
Pairing: Ryan / Jon
Disclaimer: I don't own The Young Veins or Panic! at the Disco orRyan Ross or Jon Walker. :P
Rating: Nc - 17 in coming chapters
POV Third
Summary: Ryan looks at the little black screen where the black jellybean is suspended in grey fuzz. He feels like he might vomit.
Beta: hooray4irony
Author's Notes: This is written in a parallel universe where men can get pregnant. I don't know, they have vaginas in their asses or something. So if you don't like it, you probably shouldn't read.
The Telling of the Bad News (Chapter One)
Jon convinces Ryan to change the abortion on Saturday to an ultrasound the Sunday a week later. Ryan didn't want to agree to him, at first, thinking that once he had the ultrasound he would somehow get attached to the mass of cells. But then he realises it would be kind of hard to get attached to a bunch of cells growing inside him like fucking... cancer, and so agrees.
The doctor's clinic is a cheap one. There are four blue plastic seats in the waiting room and two are occupied by a young, worried - looking woman and, next to her, a small child. The small child is dripping from the nose with snot. Ryan's stomach lurches when he remembers he might have be having one of them.
Jon speaks to the receptionist, telling her about the appointment they're on time for, but she shakes her head and motions to the blue seats. Jon sighs and moves to sit in the blue chair furthest away from the dripping child, but Ryan grabs his arm.
"What?" asks Jon, staring down at Ryan's hand, which is gripping kind of painfully.
"I'm not sitting next to that," hisses Ryan. "Look at it. It is dripping and contageous."
Jon rolls his eyes affectionately and sits next to the child, motioning for Ryan to sit down too. He does, watching the kid with narrowed eyes.
Jon grabs Ryan's hand after they've been sitting there for a little while. He smiles and tugs Ryan's hand onto his thigh and makes soothing circles on the back of Ryan's hand with his thumb.
The woman and child are called in. The kid is called Henry. Ryan makes a face.
"You okay?" asks Jon almost ten minutes later, when no doctor has come out and asked for them yet. "You look pissed off at something."
Ryan feels even more pissed off now that Jon has said something. He is pissed off, but he doesn't know why he's pissed off. He can't pin the blame on the snotty child, Henry, because he's still with the doctor. And it's not Jon, because the circles he's rubbing into Ryan's hand are nice and Ryan doesn't want him to stop. He knows he's not pissed off at the doctor because she's taking too long, because he could honestly sit in this seat forever if he had to. He's just pissed off for no reason, and the realisation makes him even more pissed off.
"I'm not pissed off," Ryan tells Jon.
"Yeah, you are," says Jon. "You're making that cute face you do when you're annoyed." He uses a babyish tone and stops rubbing Ryan's hand as he speaks, and Ryan doesn't like Jon anymore.
"It's you," he says, jerking his hand out of Jon's grip.
"You're pissed off at me? Why?" asks Jon.
"I just am," says Ryan. "And you're being a smartass."
Before Jon can make a comeback, the doctor comes back out with Henry and his mother in tow and says to the waiting room, "Ryan Ross and Jon Walker?"
"That's us," says Jon cheerfully. Ryan gets up quickly and tries to abandon Jon but Jon just grabs hold of Ryan's hand again, forcing him to walk at the same pace as himself and look like a lovey - dovey couple for all the world to see.
The doctor looks touched.
"I'm Dr. White. Are you two here for the ultrasound?" she asks. Ryan wants to say 'well, duh, how many other pregnant Ryan Rosses and Jon Walkers are in the empty waiting room?' but Jon's digging his nails into the palm of his hand and it kind of hurts, so Ryan just nods.
"Okay. Come right this way," she says, and sweeps along the short corridor and into another room with Jon dragging Ryan along behind them.
Swear to god, Ryan almost gags when he sees the inside of the room. A myriad of pink elephants in blue hot air balloons are floating on the walls, which are painted baby blue. There is a teddy bear sitting in the corner. Ryan closes his eyes for a few seconds but when he opens them again, it's still there. He wonders why this room is decorated for infants when only pregnant people are coming in here.
"Just sit on this for me," the doctor says, and breaks Ryan out of his thoughts. He glances at her. She's pointing to a reclining chair thing next to a small tv on a tray. There is another blue chair next to the reclining chair thing. Jon lets go of Ryan's hand as he clambers onto the chair thing, lying back on it as the doctor directs.
Jon pulls the chair up near Ryan's head and sits down. Ryan looks at him and Jon grabs his hand again, rubbing his thumb over Ryan's knuckles this time.
Ryan smiles a little and Jon smiles back.
"Can you tell me how long you've been pregnant for?" Dr. White asks Ryan. She's looking through a cupboard on the wall opposite.
"I don't know," says Ryan. "That's why we came here." He tries to make his voice as non - sarcastic as possible, but Jon raises his eyebrows and Ryan knows he failed.
"I see." The doctor turns around with a tube of... stuff. She doesn't look offended, so Ryan guesses she either doesn't understand sarcasm or she's just incredibly stupid. If there are any scalpels or sharp objects in the room, he wants her nowhere near his abdomen.
"Okay." Dr. White stands over Ryan and pushes his shirt up past his abdomen, where it bunches around his chest. He feels terribly undignified. "This is going to be cold," she adds, which Ryan is glad she does, because when she squirts the blue ultrasound jelly onto Ryan's skin, it is fucking cold, and at least he's prepared.
The doctor turns the small tv on. There is a black screen with numbers at the bottom. She gets out an ultrasound... probe? Ryan isn't sure what to call it, hooks it up to the tv, and sits down on the side of Ryan opposite to Jon.
"Here we go," she tells them as she brings the probe onto Ryan's abdomen, into the blue jelly, and moves it around, frowning at the black screen and getting blue shit everywhere. If she gets it on Ryan's shirt, he will poke her in the eye.
It takes about seven minutes of the doctor gliding the probe around on Ryan's abdomen for her to find anything. Ryan begins to wonder, hopefully, that maybe the four pregnancy tests were all wrong and he doesn't have a thing growing inside him. But then she gives a little exclamation and the probe is still. Ryan doesn't see anything different on the screen, except there's a lot of grey fuzz now.
"Is that the baby?" asks Jon eagerly. He leans over Ryan a little to get a better look. Ryan rolls his eyes.
"Yes," says Dr. White, just as eagerly. She points to a black smudge in the middle of the screen. It looks like a liquorice flavoured jellybean, only a little bigger.
"That's a baby?" asks Ryan incredulously, but the other two are too busy babbling excitedly to notice him. He gives them to the count of thirty until he interrupts again.
"So how old is this thing?" he asks loudly.
"Hm? Oh, six or seven weeks," Dr. White says.
Ryan feels a little naseous. Six or seven weeks was way later than he'd hoped for.
"And how long can you get an abortion for during pregnancy?" he asks her in a daze. Jon looks at him with a scandalized look, but Ryan hardly notices.
"Oh, around six weeks," says the doctor. "It changes a little in different hospitals."
"Oh my god," says Ryan. His head is spinning and he can vaguely hear the doctor and Jon discussing something, but it's background noise compared to the sound of his world crumbling down around his ears. If he can't get an abortion... Ryan feels sick.
"Ryan," Jon's saying. "Ryan, look."
Ryan looks at the little black screen where the black jellybean is suspended in grey fuzz. He feels like he might vomit. There's no way out.
"That's its heartbeat," says Jon in enrapturement. Ryan has never heard Jon sound like that before. Ryan looks at the slight twitching of one side of the jellybean and thinks it's nothing to be in enrapturement about.