nothing to say, but alot written..so read it ALL
Hope life's been good to you
since you've been gone
I'm doin' fine now--I've finally moved on
It's not so bad--I'm not that sad
I'm not surprised just how well I survived
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive
I can't complain--I'm free again
[Chorus:]
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath--to forget
Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night
There's no need to worry, I'm really all right
I've never looked back--as a matter of fact
[Repeat Chorus]
It only hurts when I breathe
Mmm, no, I've never looked back--
as a matter fact
[Repeat Chorus]
Hurts when I'm breathing
Breaks when it's beating
Die when I'm dreaming
It only hurts when I breathe
ya soo, the past couple of days..i am finally done with school! and i found out that i might be comming home sooner then i thought, but i still dont know about maine, i am really working on it lol and i am still waiting for my yearbook to get to my dads house.
i found out that my dad has a really big problem, besides the thyroid one that he already had. he has to keep goining for test and he wont tell me whatelse i wrong or what the results are, he says he doesnt want to talk about it whenever i ask...he better tell me when i come home, i am really scared about it.
i have been hanging out with nick and T alot lately, witch is fun i guess, i mean there cool and it gives me me something to do. i am supposed to be going out to a couple of bars and stuff with them soon for like the last day of school/just to see if they can get me in/tempararely good-bye thing lol.
i found out i really do suffer from rage blackouts haha! but i cant really tell my mom cuz then she'll tell her physco ass mom who will prollably try to get me to meet with an excersit and if i tell my dad he'll prolly just laugh and be like yah, and hand me a bat..my dads family is so not right when it comes to fighting and shit, i swear to god all of them love getting into them, its like they live off of it. i relized i had them cuz i got into this huge fight with sal and i almost like broke his nose and then when he pulled my hair and threw me to the tile floor, i didnt feel a thing and just hopped up and went wild, and i guess i was screaming all this stuff and all this shit for like 20 min and i only remember like 5, then when i was telling my friend he was like "do you remember when you were in that fight and you threw her against a tree and started beating her with a rock in the snow" and i was like "dude thats soo not funny" so then we like 3 and 4 and 5-wayed dif ppl and they all said i did and they swore up and down on everything that i did, and i honestly dont remember..haha i felt soo horrible, you have no idea like i almost wanted to go and appologize to her and stuff, but then i remember how much i dont like her and all the things she did to me and my friends, so i decided against it- do they have medicanes for that tho? like cuz if they do then i'll prolly tell my daddy-o and have him take me to get some and then i'll get him and the rest of my family on it lol
i talked to the one and only sarah j smith today
and lauren, on he way to go see craig-
"lauren, can i pee in your bushes?" "ya sure, knock urself out" "DUDE they're watching porn!" haha omg that was soo funny, when he went to go pee he looked into the house behind laurens and seen on the big screen that they were watching it so we all like ran over, like we never seen it before becuz we didnt belive him, and then someone goes, i wanna say nick G, but i cant really remember if he was there well whoever it was goes "dude, that isnt porn, thats boxing" lmao then we see a big ass pair of boobs flash across the screen "no, never mind. thats porn" GOOD TIMES!
i might be going to a journey concert..so that might be cool, but i am going with steve and some other ppl, so idk...but he already bought my ticket so i would feel bad backing out now, ohh well i'll make it fun
i am in the weirdest mood today, like i dont wanna talk, and nothing is good enough today like everything is bugging me, like i cant even listen to one song, and i just wanna like sleep the day away so i can move on to the next but i am not tired, and tv can only be intertaning for a limited amount of time and idk i think i am really sad. and its a rainy day here, and for some reason those always make me sad too...idk whatever is wrong it sucks and i want it to go away like right now i have nothing to say but becuz some ppl said i had to update it cuz i hadnt updated a real entry in a long time, but its only been a couple of days but whatver. i feel blank (check out the mood icon thing...lol)
i went kiacking on the 30th, my last day of school, ya that was fun..i want to do it again, i am actually pretty good at it. Its those man arms-lol
i finally found a way to get done what i gotta get done over the summer, i cant belive i didnt think of it sooner, i thought for soo long and soo hard about it all and then like when i was sleeping (so it was a dream) it came to me, it was soo obveiouse and i do it all the time, its like "my move" and its how it origanlly started out anyways and the rest is history so i just gotta act like i have no fucking clue who he is, or anythign about it, play it cool and smooth (like i always do) and then do my move and if it works then i can finally ask and say and do all the shit i need to and then well, being the PIMP that i am and i always get the guy that i want (eventually) then were all good to go, and if it doesnt work, then i still dont look like an idiot (well maybe just to him cuz he knows me soo well or he used to so he might pick up on it but i doubt it, but to anyone else they'll have no idea) and then he'll just be dead to me for a little while, i'll have on big night of parting with the ladies, find a little nothing rebound for like a week or two then end it with the rebound and then a couple months later i'll be all set and will be able to be friends with him again lol.
i had one of those talks with my mom today, one of those talks that last for hours on end, about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE and there brother...those real draining ones that make you want to put a bullet threw your and or her head becuz its the talk where you get yelled at the whole time....ugh
becca you whore, call me!
you too chicken!
ok i guess am done now..