(no subject)
Most days drag on with this feeling of hopelessness. I can't understand it. For a couple of days I felt like I had climbed to the top of a mountain. Fucking victory, only to find out that once again, I've fallen down and fallen down hard. I want to reach out for help, but I feel like no one is listening, or no one takes it seriously enough. Winters coming, and it only makes it worse. This weather is depressing. I don't even know how I'll make it through this season. It's going to be hard, really hard. I'm so unstable. I try so hard to hold myself up and I'm constantly feeling weak, and unsatisfied with life. I drive down the highway and all I can think about is how fucked up things are, and how it won't change. I wish I could just be taken away, peacefully and gently. I want someone to pick me up and isolate me from this bullshit. I can't escape it. I don't want help. I don't want to talk to a fucking counsler who's just going to feed me stupid shit about why life's good, and to stay positive. Don't you think that if I could fucking stay positive I wouldn't be like this? I come off as pissed off and I feel like people think I'm boring. I wish I was closer to people, or I wish that someone could see what the fuck I'm feeling. Everyone's blind. I'm so fucking weak, so fucking unstable. I find my self constantly thinking about what I could change, or what I could improve, and nothing changes. It's the same old shit all the time. How am I supposed to live like this and put on a happy face when I'm not even happy at all.
Whatever, fuck you all. I really don't give a shit anymore.
Whatever, fuck you all. I really don't give a shit anymore.