Lack of Control From a Broken Mind
I'm in one of my "moods". I hate when it hits me this bad, though I should have expected. I had been in an unexplainable good mood for this past week and the better the high is the worse the low will come. It's annoying, to be such a slave to my own emotions but still have to pretend to be fine. I mean, I have enough shit going on right now to excuse me being depressed, honestly I do but sulking about them will do nothing to improve them, and I'm trying, very hard, to go back to the up beat optimistic person I used to be. I loved that quality about me. The fact that I could take anything the world threw at me and I could still smile and giggle. I guess I still can, it just tends to be fake when I do, and if it's not then I'm being unhealthy and detaching myself from what's really going on (which I'm prone to doing).
So Julio showed up last night. We weren't really gaming so I went outside to talk to him. Honestly, it's about time I make peace with him. Stuart thinks I'm too forgiving, and maybe I am, but I think everyone deserves a second chance. I've been holding a grudge for two years. I mean, the guy lost the person he claimed to love and want to marry, because he fucked up. He is now engaged with a baby in the way, however eh knows that even if that wasn't the case he lost any chance of anything between him and me ever being more than platonic. You have to remember this guy was the one that said it was my fault that I was raped. I understand that he was in Iraq and was going through a shit ton at the time, but honestly? That's not something you say to someone you "love". We talked for a while though and I set boundaries to the friendship that may or may not bloom. I don't know. We'll see how things go. In the meantime I'll be cautious around him.
Other than that we didn't game this week either, but I was expecting it. We get so easily side tracked. But it's ok. Game is all about having fun and we still do that. We had this guy come over (one of Kody's friends) but there was something about him that was just, I don't know "off". He just gave me an awful vibe and I can assure you that I wouldn't have been able to go to sleep if he had still been in the house. Chris (this one guy I met at hastings) came over too, we'll see how things go as the group grows with people we don't really know well. It should be more interesting to say the least.
I have also decided I hate the hell out of NCTC. They have another student enrolled under my social. I have gone and shown them proof that it belongs to me and for three damn weeks they've told me that it would be done in one week. Last time I called them they hung up on me and when I called back the supervisor didn't answer. Hmm, convenient. I'm trying to go for the nice approach right now since I can get much more done that way. However, if it seems like they are not going to do anything about their incompetence I will make sure to be hell.
Other than that, I made Stuart watch another chick flick today. The count is up to four now. Because I rock like that. He walked away before I could sneak a second movie though. It was a sad day. Mmm I should probably get to sleep soon. I work at eight and then CYBERPUNK! DANCE DANCE DANCE!!!
So Julio showed up last night. We weren't really gaming so I went outside to talk to him. Honestly, it's about time I make peace with him. Stuart thinks I'm too forgiving, and maybe I am, but I think everyone deserves a second chance. I've been holding a grudge for two years. I mean, the guy lost the person he claimed to love and want to marry, because he fucked up. He is now engaged with a baby in the way, however eh knows that even if that wasn't the case he lost any chance of anything between him and me ever being more than platonic. You have to remember this guy was the one that said it was my fault that I was raped. I understand that he was in Iraq and was going through a shit ton at the time, but honestly? That's not something you say to someone you "love". We talked for a while though and I set boundaries to the friendship that may or may not bloom. I don't know. We'll see how things go. In the meantime I'll be cautious around him.
Other than that we didn't game this week either, but I was expecting it. We get so easily side tracked. But it's ok. Game is all about having fun and we still do that. We had this guy come over (one of Kody's friends) but there was something about him that was just, I don't know "off". He just gave me an awful vibe and I can assure you that I wouldn't have been able to go to sleep if he had still been in the house. Chris (this one guy I met at hastings) came over too, we'll see how things go as the group grows with people we don't really know well. It should be more interesting to say the least.
I have also decided I hate the hell out of NCTC. They have another student enrolled under my social. I have gone and shown them proof that it belongs to me and for three damn weeks they've told me that it would be done in one week. Last time I called them they hung up on me and when I called back the supervisor didn't answer. Hmm, convenient. I'm trying to go for the nice approach right now since I can get much more done that way. However, if it seems like they are not going to do anything about their incompetence I will make sure to be hell.
Other than that, I made Stuart watch another chick flick today. The count is up to four now. Because I rock like that. He walked away before I could sneak a second movie though. It was a sad day. Mmm I should probably get to sleep soon. I work at eight and then CYBERPUNK! DANCE DANCE DANCE!!!