(no subject)
okay so i hate to be this way, but i need some vent to complain through. my friends are not the friends i once had. i'm trying to grow up a little and mature, but it's like God and people are pulling one hand and my old friends who i've hung out with forevvverrr are pulling on the other. and i still want to make stupid decisions and be like "oh whoops" the next week, but i have to change. and if people arent letting me, i have no choice but to let go of them. and yall are probably thinking "umm what a hypocrite, you knowwww you're the most immature person ever" but you know what, i wanted to enjoy my younger years and have fun, and there's always the part of my life that's going to be in that cheerful, hug everyone, loud, talkative, perky me but get used to the days when i just dont feel like you're worth impressing. because a lot of people out there think they're a whole lot better people than they really are. i'm a suckish person. i know that. it's obvious. but nobody's perfect. and i've learned that there's only a few people who can be real with me. and i wish i could find someone to be close to that's real. because i have lots of people who i love and consider my friends. but i've never had a best friend. and i guess that's my fault for being an over-emotional beeyotch, but i feel like nobody even tries to know the real me, b/c they're so comfortable knowing my perky,wanting to make your day better side that tries so hard to get the best out of everyone i know. i love you all, but although this is the most stable externally that i've ever been, i'm soo unstable underneath. and i wish that someone cared enough to read this whole entry, but i know what i say in this lj is like talking into outer space. all i've got is God right now. and He's more than enough. but is it so selfish to want a friend? someone who's real, who wants to be my friend because of me and not because of any other reason?!
i'm kind of sick of all of this crap in my life.
can't yall see i'm tripping over myself to get attention.
what's the worst thing that could happen if you took time to listen.
and no, i dont even want your attention if you dont care.
just..i dont know. i'm so confused these days.
i'm kind of sick of all of this crap in my life.
can't yall see i'm tripping over myself to get attention.
what's the worst thing that could happen if you took time to listen.
and no, i dont even want your attention if you dont care.
just..i dont know. i'm so confused these days.