It's sad, but sometimes moving on -- STARTS WITH GOODBYE.
Let my memory be the reason boy, that you cant sleep.
and every time you feel her touch, I pray to God its not enough.
Lets play this game called.." when you catch fire "..I wouldnt piss to put you out.
Stop burning bridges, and drive off them..so I can forget about you.
^^ as you can tell, im a little confused about how I feel.
Fuck, im confused about everything these days.
Tuesday- First day back to school. It was nice seeing the people I missed, and seeing the teachers I missed. I Must say it was good to be back. lmao not really.
Wednesday- Half day today. I woke up late, and Keith took me to school during 2nd hour. When I got home my mom was being a dyke. I just went to sleep. When I woke up she left and then ordered some pizza. Later on I told my mom that I thought it was time for me to go to the hospital again. She was a little drunk lol. It was weird, around 11:30 people were IMing me telling me there was no school because of a power outage. It was great. I went to bed around 3 or 4. On Myspace I have top 16.
Thursday- Well its Tyler Kaspers birthday today. No we're not friends still, probably never will be. I still said happy birthday, only because im nice when im worried. In this case I was worried about the hospital. Well anyways. I woke up at like 1 and got ready. Teesh called me before I left, It made me happy. I love my hater<3. I went to my doctor at 3. Told her what was wrong, which consist of: memory loss - weight loss - side pain - chest pain - soreness - bruising - trouble breathing - trouble balancing && bad migraines. So yeah, the side pains have been going on for about 2 years and they cant find anything wrong. I requested a new doctor and well she helped. Tomorrow I have to schedule an appointment for blood/urine work - test after test - and a cat scan for my skull. She also asked me if I drink or smoke. I was honest. I dont know if that has anything to do with that, but if it does then at least i'll have an answer. I dont know how to explain it but .. Im really scared. Im like terrified. I dont know what is wrong with me, I dont know what to do. This is so confusing. Im tired of hospital visits, im tired of hurting, Im tired of being worried, im tired of not knowing anything. On top of all this theres still everything going on with my Father. On the way home my I honestly think my mom drove by the bus station I last saw my father at on purpose. It hurts so bad to go pass there. It brings back so many memories, so many painful memories. I got home at like 6. My mom got me rallys. Derek came over. We drove around in his car lmao. Then Shelden joined us, and I went back home around 7:30. I talked to Ali when i got home, shes going through some guy troubles. Listening to them is hard because I just went thorough it. But I lover her and she'll get through this. Also I talked to joslyn earlier today. It was also hard. I miss that bitch so much, its killing me. Im so stressed lmao - all I can do is laugh about it. Keith and my mom are fighting. I hate it, sometimes it drives me insane. All the yelling and bitching and swearing. Please dont feel bad for me, it makes me feel pathetic. I get through everything on my own.
Besides that, I love when people make me happy && make me smile. I like having my cell phone && digital camera. I like when my friends care. I like having nothing to do with you.
Dee6713: hey, call me when you get home from the hospital and everything if you'd like. dont worry about it being too late or anything either. i'll wake up and its fine. especially if you need someone to talk to or anything. and if you have to stay there for a a while, like days or something, make sure you call me and tell me your room number becus i'd be there as quick as i could. love you <3
Puppetpaltimmy: If you live to be a 100 years old, I want to live to be a 100 minus one day, so that I don't ever have to live a day without you
^^ Best Friend love right there (( id be lost without him ))
My heart is aching oh so bad ...
and every time you feel her touch, I pray to God its not enough.
Lets play this game called.." when you catch fire "..I wouldnt piss to put you out.
Stop burning bridges, and drive off them..so I can forget about you.
^^ as you can tell, im a little confused about how I feel.
Fuck, im confused about everything these days.
Tuesday- First day back to school. It was nice seeing the people I missed, and seeing the teachers I missed. I Must say it was good to be back. lmao not really.
Wednesday- Half day today. I woke up late, and Keith took me to school during 2nd hour. When I got home my mom was being a dyke. I just went to sleep. When I woke up she left and then ordered some pizza. Later on I told my mom that I thought it was time for me to go to the hospital again. She was a little drunk lol. It was weird, around 11:30 people were IMing me telling me there was no school because of a power outage. It was great. I went to bed around 3 or 4. On Myspace I have top 16.
Thursday- Well its Tyler Kaspers birthday today. No we're not friends still, probably never will be. I still said happy birthday, only because im nice when im worried. In this case I was worried about the hospital. Well anyways. I woke up at like 1 and got ready. Teesh called me before I left, It made me happy. I love my hater<3. I went to my doctor at 3. Told her what was wrong, which consist of: memory loss - weight loss - side pain - chest pain - soreness - bruising - trouble breathing - trouble balancing && bad migraines. So yeah, the side pains have been going on for about 2 years and they cant find anything wrong. I requested a new doctor and well she helped. Tomorrow I have to schedule an appointment for blood/urine work - test after test - and a cat scan for my skull. She also asked me if I drink or smoke. I was honest. I dont know if that has anything to do with that, but if it does then at least i'll have an answer. I dont know how to explain it but .. Im really scared. Im like terrified. I dont know what is wrong with me, I dont know what to do. This is so confusing. Im tired of hospital visits, im tired of hurting, Im tired of being worried, im tired of not knowing anything. On top of all this theres still everything going on with my Father. On the way home my I honestly think my mom drove by the bus station I last saw my father at on purpose. It hurts so bad to go pass there. It brings back so many memories, so many painful memories. I got home at like 6. My mom got me rallys. Derek came over. We drove around in his car lmao. Then Shelden joined us, and I went back home around 7:30. I talked to Ali when i got home, shes going through some guy troubles. Listening to them is hard because I just went thorough it. But I lover her and she'll get through this. Also I talked to joslyn earlier today. It was also hard. I miss that bitch so much, its killing me. Im so stressed lmao - all I can do is laugh about it. Keith and my mom are fighting. I hate it, sometimes it drives me insane. All the yelling and bitching and swearing. Please dont feel bad for me, it makes me feel pathetic. I get through everything on my own.
Besides that, I love when people make me happy && make me smile. I like having my cell phone && digital camera. I like when my friends care. I like having nothing to do with you.
Dee6713: hey, call me when you get home from the hospital and everything if you'd like. dont worry about it being too late or anything either. i'll wake up and its fine. especially if you need someone to talk to or anything. and if you have to stay there for a a while, like days or something, make sure you call me and tell me your room number becus i'd be there as quick as i could. love you <3
Puppetpaltimmy: If you live to be a 100 years old, I want to live to be a 100 minus one day, so that I don't ever have to live a day without you
^^ Best Friend love right there (( id be lost without him ))
My heart is aching oh so bad ...