Insight
Reenie has inspired me to write a meaningful entry.
This meaningful entry must, however, come with something of a disclaimer, as i am still somewhat sick and i am VERY exhausted lol so i hope you wont hold me accountable for anything i say here :-)
What with summer rapidly approaching, ive started thinking about how much some of those simple *summer nights* have changed my life. Summer has always been a special thing to me. It's always been a time of adventure and excitement and, more often than not, happiness. As bad as a year might be I always have the summer to look forward to. Its an escape from life and the reality of school and responsibility. Summer since ive been in high school has been different tho. Its been more than all that.
As all of you know, onstage has been an unbelievably important part of my life, and for the past few years its been how i measure time. Waiting for the next show, and looking back on each summer as the summers of crazy for you, brigadoon, and music man. It scares me a little bit to not have that label for this year.
I think reenie's right, i think it is time to let go of these summer memories ive been so desparately holding onto and open myself up to an entirely new adventure. With that in mind, i want to remember some of these past summers and how much theyve changed my life.
There was the summer after my freshman year...on a whim i found out about "Onstage" from meredith...then we found that katie was already planning on auditioning. After that first audition i didnt see how there was ANY way i would get into that show. And somehow i did. to this day im not sure how and im not sure why but its one of those things that has reaffirmed my faith that some things just happen for a reason. I remember meeting michelle at that audition...and then ushering for footloose and meeting her AGAIN (then starting rehearsals and being absolutely in love with her :-) yay michelle lol). That first summer was one of the most difficult of my life...it was such a huge transition and i was SO scared. I spent most of the summer being attached to meredith at the hip. I expected nothing from onstage. Maybe a nice show some new faces...but i got SO much more. I got Crazy For You. the greatest show i have ever performed in to this day (AND we only got to do it twice stupid stupid blackout...thats a story in and of itself lol) That summer i formed this friendship with katie and meredith that can never ever be replaced...and that summer i met vinnie and deanna. I cant imagine life if i had never met them. I remember meeting deanna...and i remember being very friendly and liking her SO so much...but to think that she became one of the best friends i will ever have...after just one summer...well things like that just show you how much of a difference just a little bit of time can make. The rest of that summer is a bit of a blur...it was the on that opened doors for me tho. Crazy For You REALLY began my love of theater. That show is what made me realize what theater is and WHY i love it. And that cast and those friends i made will FOREVER hold a huge place in my heart <3
The next summer. The "summer of Brigadoon"...well that was the summer of changes for me. I became a new person that summer. I grew up more than you can even imagine. When I look back at that summer its the one that stands out, with so many days that just ring out in my mind as being clear life-changing days. Its so funny now to look back and realize that, at the time, I didnt have a clue. That summer I met Mike, and Matt, and got SO much closer to michelle....that was the summer that i realized that ALL people i meet at onstage dont have to turn out to be my best friends...but that some can. I guess looking back on it i didnt even make that many new friends...but how much i grew and how much i learned....i couldnt even write that out in words. By the end of that summer into the beginning of that school year i somehow became friends with reenie and mary. Mary became that person i talked to EVERY single night about EVERY little thing. To be honest im not quite sure how it all started...but i couldnt be happier that it did. Reenie....well ill talk about you more in my last dear :-P
It's funny now that I think of it....I've always considered each summer to have its own importance... but the second one always stood out the most in my mind. I guess that was the summer that I changed the most...but in terms of the people that i met and the FRIENDSHIPS that i made....well there was so much more of that in this last summer...the summer of music man...and of bye bye birdie. I guess i should start at the beginning. The audition...i have NEVER had so much fun at an audition. In fact i didnt think fun at an audition was even allowed lol. I felt so comfortable...i felt like i was a part of something big and something really great..i was just proud to be there :-) and at that audition, i met cha (in her pretty little dress! teehee) how could i have known what a difference that would make lol. I remember that day we all found out about parts...an incredibly stressful bittersweet night lol...strangely enough i think that might have been when i started to really become friends with stef. funny never REALLY thought about that lol. Then I decided to do something id never thought about before...being a techie was by far one of the greatest choices ive ever made. I felt good about myself, i was doing things i never thought i could do and talking to people it had never occurred to me to talk to before. it showed me once and for all that i did not need to be on the stage to be a part of a show. Being a techie also gave me the chance to bond with nancy and therese. Theres nothing i can say about therese. I met her on the first day of kindergarten, and as much as WEVE changed...nothing else seems to. Besides even that i got to spend my whole summmer with deanna...and i met one more really important person. The day before birdie started i remember talking to stef about being nervous..i dont even remember why i just was it was something different i didnt know what to expect....and she told me to look for her friend britania. Funny how these things work out isnt it?? Britania very quickly became one of the greatest people i will ever know (our woodbury trip will ALWAYS very clearly stand out in my mind. every time i think about it i cant help but smile<3). The end of birdie prooved to be a night of insanity and NO sleep that i spent bonding with deanna, britania, stef and jen lol good times :-) then the trip to palissades...oh deanna...we had one of the greatest times EVERRRRR lol i love that trip it makes me laugh just thinking about it lol RIGHT after that music man started...and yet another chapter in my life began. I cant even begin to explain some of the incredibly important events that began some of the greatest friendships ever. I met james...started talking to him and found a really great friend who genuinely cared about what i had to say. Doug became my dance partner :-) its funny to imagine how different things would be if little things like that changed. Frisbee suddenly became the new cool thing to do...and i spent most of the games laying on the grass staring at the stars bonding with the girls. One game that always stands out is pacing back and forth with ali talking about anything and everything...finding my *soul hussie* and really just finding an amazing friend who understood me like i thought no one else could. I remember bonding with stef over god knows what lol. Really what i remember about this summer is having the time of my life with people who REALLY liked me for who i was.
As the summer ended i entered my senior year in high school...I stayed in touch with some people..not so much with others. Through all the insanity that senior year brought i managed to build a friendship with people like stef, and ali, and reenie. I discovered all that i had in common with all of them. i discovered how much fun i could have with reenie in just one simple conversation. Somehow, from this summer i made some of the best friends ill ever know.
In case you havent picked it up by now, my summers have basically revolved around one thing and one thing only. Im not sure how im going to handle not having that one thing that has found me great friends and a passion that ill carry with me for the rest of my life. Summer may only be 2 short months, but no matter what they always have some great effect on me.
There is so much more i could say about each summer but this has gotten long enough. Im sure most of you wont even read it all which is fine its for me :-) i am so so lucky to have been given something like onstage and friends like all of you and i will carry that with me forever. and as for this summer...well here's to the best one yet. Here's to fun happiness and friendship -- old ones, new ones..and ones that i know will last forever and ever <333
thanks for the patience :-) much love<3
This meaningful entry must, however, come with something of a disclaimer, as i am still somewhat sick and i am VERY exhausted lol so i hope you wont hold me accountable for anything i say here :-)
What with summer rapidly approaching, ive started thinking about how much some of those simple *summer nights* have changed my life. Summer has always been a special thing to me. It's always been a time of adventure and excitement and, more often than not, happiness. As bad as a year might be I always have the summer to look forward to. Its an escape from life and the reality of school and responsibility. Summer since ive been in high school has been different tho. Its been more than all that.
As all of you know, onstage has been an unbelievably important part of my life, and for the past few years its been how i measure time. Waiting for the next show, and looking back on each summer as the summers of crazy for you, brigadoon, and music man. It scares me a little bit to not have that label for this year.
I think reenie's right, i think it is time to let go of these summer memories ive been so desparately holding onto and open myself up to an entirely new adventure. With that in mind, i want to remember some of these past summers and how much theyve changed my life.
There was the summer after my freshman year...on a whim i found out about "Onstage" from meredith...then we found that katie was already planning on auditioning. After that first audition i didnt see how there was ANY way i would get into that show. And somehow i did. to this day im not sure how and im not sure why but its one of those things that has reaffirmed my faith that some things just happen for a reason. I remember meeting michelle at that audition...and then ushering for footloose and meeting her AGAIN (then starting rehearsals and being absolutely in love with her :-) yay michelle lol). That first summer was one of the most difficult of my life...it was such a huge transition and i was SO scared. I spent most of the summer being attached to meredith at the hip. I expected nothing from onstage. Maybe a nice show some new faces...but i got SO much more. I got Crazy For You. the greatest show i have ever performed in to this day (AND we only got to do it twice stupid stupid blackout...thats a story in and of itself lol) That summer i formed this friendship with katie and meredith that can never ever be replaced...and that summer i met vinnie and deanna. I cant imagine life if i had never met them. I remember meeting deanna...and i remember being very friendly and liking her SO so much...but to think that she became one of the best friends i will ever have...after just one summer...well things like that just show you how much of a difference just a little bit of time can make. The rest of that summer is a bit of a blur...it was the on that opened doors for me tho. Crazy For You REALLY began my love of theater. That show is what made me realize what theater is and WHY i love it. And that cast and those friends i made will FOREVER hold a huge place in my heart <3
The next summer. The "summer of Brigadoon"...well that was the summer of changes for me. I became a new person that summer. I grew up more than you can even imagine. When I look back at that summer its the one that stands out, with so many days that just ring out in my mind as being clear life-changing days. Its so funny now to look back and realize that, at the time, I didnt have a clue. That summer I met Mike, and Matt, and got SO much closer to michelle....that was the summer that i realized that ALL people i meet at onstage dont have to turn out to be my best friends...but that some can. I guess looking back on it i didnt even make that many new friends...but how much i grew and how much i learned....i couldnt even write that out in words. By the end of that summer into the beginning of that school year i somehow became friends with reenie and mary. Mary became that person i talked to EVERY single night about EVERY little thing. To be honest im not quite sure how it all started...but i couldnt be happier that it did. Reenie....well ill talk about you more in my last dear :-P
It's funny now that I think of it....I've always considered each summer to have its own importance... but the second one always stood out the most in my mind. I guess that was the summer that I changed the most...but in terms of the people that i met and the FRIENDSHIPS that i made....well there was so much more of that in this last summer...the summer of music man...and of bye bye birdie. I guess i should start at the beginning. The audition...i have NEVER had so much fun at an audition. In fact i didnt think fun at an audition was even allowed lol. I felt so comfortable...i felt like i was a part of something big and something really great..i was just proud to be there :-) and at that audition, i met cha (in her pretty little dress! teehee) how could i have known what a difference that would make lol. I remember that day we all found out about parts...an incredibly stressful bittersweet night lol...strangely enough i think that might have been when i started to really become friends with stef. funny never REALLY thought about that lol. Then I decided to do something id never thought about before...being a techie was by far one of the greatest choices ive ever made. I felt good about myself, i was doing things i never thought i could do and talking to people it had never occurred to me to talk to before. it showed me once and for all that i did not need to be on the stage to be a part of a show. Being a techie also gave me the chance to bond with nancy and therese. Theres nothing i can say about therese. I met her on the first day of kindergarten, and as much as WEVE changed...nothing else seems to. Besides even that i got to spend my whole summmer with deanna...and i met one more really important person. The day before birdie started i remember talking to stef about being nervous..i dont even remember why i just was it was something different i didnt know what to expect....and she told me to look for her friend britania. Funny how these things work out isnt it?? Britania very quickly became one of the greatest people i will ever know (our woodbury trip will ALWAYS very clearly stand out in my mind. every time i think about it i cant help but smile<3). The end of birdie prooved to be a night of insanity and NO sleep that i spent bonding with deanna, britania, stef and jen lol good times :-) then the trip to palissades...oh deanna...we had one of the greatest times EVERRRRR lol i love that trip it makes me laugh just thinking about it lol RIGHT after that music man started...and yet another chapter in my life began. I cant even begin to explain some of the incredibly important events that began some of the greatest friendships ever. I met james...started talking to him and found a really great friend who genuinely cared about what i had to say. Doug became my dance partner :-) its funny to imagine how different things would be if little things like that changed. Frisbee suddenly became the new cool thing to do...and i spent most of the games laying on the grass staring at the stars bonding with the girls. One game that always stands out is pacing back and forth with ali talking about anything and everything...finding my *soul hussie* and really just finding an amazing friend who understood me like i thought no one else could. I remember bonding with stef over god knows what lol. Really what i remember about this summer is having the time of my life with people who REALLY liked me for who i was.
As the summer ended i entered my senior year in high school...I stayed in touch with some people..not so much with others. Through all the insanity that senior year brought i managed to build a friendship with people like stef, and ali, and reenie. I discovered all that i had in common with all of them. i discovered how much fun i could have with reenie in just one simple conversation. Somehow, from this summer i made some of the best friends ill ever know.
In case you havent picked it up by now, my summers have basically revolved around one thing and one thing only. Im not sure how im going to handle not having that one thing that has found me great friends and a passion that ill carry with me for the rest of my life. Summer may only be 2 short months, but no matter what they always have some great effect on me.
There is so much more i could say about each summer but this has gotten long enough. Im sure most of you wont even read it all which is fine its for me :-) i am so so lucky to have been given something like onstage and friends like all of you and i will carry that with me forever. and as for this summer...well here's to the best one yet. Here's to fun happiness and friendship -- old ones, new ones..and ones that i know will last forever and ever <333
thanks for the patience :-) much love<3