i don't think i can take this anymore
i am broken and torn..between being with you and being with him. i can't look in his eyes without thinking of you..the love of my life. the one who stole my tears and kept them in a jar. so he could save them and make them go away..knowing i cry over him. i do nothing but sit there and think of you..i do nothing but lay in bed crying myself to sleep knowing your not next to me..and i stan outside of my house..with a phone in my hand..wondering if your going to call..and make everything ok. but i know sometimes life isn't meant to be a perfect fairy tale. i wish so badly on the same star everynight..just so i can make believe that one day..i have you in my arms singing you to sleep and kissing you goodnight. i can't take this tattered heart of mine..and just heal it..theres to many bandages..and nails in it. theres so much pain behind these eyes..that no one sees. i can't think of you without getting sad or happy..at the same time..you stole my heart and i don't know if i'm ever goin to be okay from all the pain i have caused you and myself. this is all my fault. all the pain..and the hurt. i can't stand how bad i need and how bad i need to know you need me too. i can't take the lonely nights and the cold days..without you there offering your jacket or better your arms around me telling me you love me and you never want to let go. i can't believe i fell in love with you and you took this heart of mine..and you haven't given it back. im so alone without you here with me and i'm so broken every night,from all the tears i have and the long hard days i have spent without you. i can't look at you the same..or even think of you the smae way..your not just my friend but the love of my life..the one that took me in from the rain..and wiped my tears and told me everything is going to be okay. and maybe one day i'll have you..and maybe i won't. just keep me guessing because i can take that. i can take the mean words you say sometimes and the comments you say..but what i cna't take is you not being here..with my dead body..grieving over it..this heart is so weak..and tired of hurting..but it beats for your love..and it beats for you kisses..it beats for the beauty in your eyes..and the love in your heart. your the only one who has ever made me think of how life would be if i lived and how wonderful i could be if just let myself be that way..your the only one who has ever made me feel wanted..and your the only one who has ever loved me like you have..your the only one i love..and i want to keep that way..cuz i will wait for you..cuz i only want you..the sensless kisses..with the sensless guys..mean nothing to me..cuz there not you..and there not my baby..the man i have loved for two years..the one i want to spend my life with..the one i need and the one i cry my eyes out for..everynight..i can't stand this hurt inside..and this yearning for you touch..i miss you everyday more and more..you mean so much more to me than words..you make me feel like i am worth living and my heart is worth beating..you mean the world to me baby..you are my rock and my soul..your the only one who will ever love me like you do..and i will never forget you..my dreams all consist of your smile and your heart..and your hand intwined with mine..and your lips caressing mine..i need you so much..that it scares me..i promise you baby..i will never leave you..i will never leave you out in the rain to cry the night away with no one there..with no one to care..you are my first love..and i will love you till the end of this world..i will love you until summer turns into winter..and until the sky falls..until i die..until i am with you..i will never truely be happy..because you make me feel so amazing that i shake and that all i know i need is you just hold me..and kiss my neck and tell me life is ok..were together..at heart..these miles between us..have seperated us..but not at heart..because our hearts together..intwined with our love for each other..because we are meant to be..and i know we are..i just can't believe you said those three little words that changed my life..i love you..