Sometimes life's a bitch and then your father rips your heart apart
Yea i think that I'll reminise.. or whatever that word is
I remember in Montana my Dad took my pills away and told me to stop faking, So I spent most of my time in my room which was in the basement, alone. I remember he was never there to hug me when i was having my fits. I remember the hugs and kisses he never gave me. I remember the emotions he never showed. I remember on Christmas day after i opened my last present, he asked me "Shouldn;t you go finish packing?" because my mom was on her way to get me from that hell i called well... hell. I remember how I felt that he was excited I was living. I felt i made HIS life a living hell, when in fact it was my life he was making so. I reembmer when I was about to leave, that i was looking at him, waiting for an "I love you" or at least a hug from my biological father, but I guess what I expected was too much. What I c\got was a "Stay in school". When I put that first foot out that door.. I realized a part of my heart was lost, and I knew I'd never be able to find it again mostly because my father would never try and give it back. Mostly because i knew I could never try and get it back. Itseems like he's driving his girls out of his life. It's like he wants us all out. All he wants is a son, the golden boy, the boy in which he has now. Now it seems like hes forgotten about us. Theres sometimes I want to scream in his ear DAD, I HATE YOU!. And theres sometimes i Just want him to hold me and tell me he loves me. But I know that that's never going to happen. I just want my heart back.
I remember Kyra said "Face it, we're never going to see eachother again"
And I almost cried because I didn't even know if that was the truth. I;m afraid of Montana. I;m afraid of getting my heart lost more than it already is.
I remember in Montana my Dad took my pills away and told me to stop faking, So I spent most of my time in my room which was in the basement, alone. I remember he was never there to hug me when i was having my fits. I remember the hugs and kisses he never gave me. I remember the emotions he never showed. I remember on Christmas day after i opened my last present, he asked me "Shouldn;t you go finish packing?" because my mom was on her way to get me from that hell i called well... hell. I remember how I felt that he was excited I was living. I felt i made HIS life a living hell, when in fact it was my life he was making so. I reembmer when I was about to leave, that i was looking at him, waiting for an "I love you" or at least a hug from my biological father, but I guess what I expected was too much. What I c\got was a "Stay in school". When I put that first foot out that door.. I realized a part of my heart was lost, and I knew I'd never be able to find it again mostly because my father would never try and give it back. Mostly because i knew I could never try and get it back. Itseems like he's driving his girls out of his life. It's like he wants us all out. All he wants is a son, the golden boy, the boy in which he has now. Now it seems like hes forgotten about us. Theres sometimes I want to scream in his ear DAD, I HATE YOU!. And theres sometimes i Just want him to hold me and tell me he loves me. But I know that that's never going to happen. I just want my heart back.
I remember Kyra said "Face it, we're never going to see eachother again"
And I almost cried because I didn't even know if that was the truth. I;m afraid of Montana. I;m afraid of getting my heart lost more than it already is.