subjective
I'm not sick, I'm just a boy.
Sifting through this newfound lie.
Is this all the world has to offer?
And I don't know how much you thought I'd be.
It turns to ashes on me.
Okay, I'm sad. I've BEEN sad for what seems like forever. And It's irritating the fuck out of me, to be honest. It seems like every single thing I do is just to distract myself from how fucking sad I am. What in the fuck can be done about this shit? I mean, is this just...how it is? Facebook's the worst. It's a window into everybody else's daily spontaneous thoughts and actions, and it seems like everybody else that I know, or know in passing, or knew back in second grade, or don't remember even meeting at all, are all sad too. Is that just life? Distracting yourself from how empty, mediocre, unfulfilling, difficult, and dull ninety nine percent of what life has to offer is?
I mean, I can't pretend to be living even close to the full that life has to offer. But goddamn, do I think about it a lot. Ha ha. And even THAT seems like not enough.
I think one of the main curses of the human spirit is that everything is never enough. And I mean it. If I had everything I'd ever wanted, and everything everyone else ever wanted, and held every answer to everything. Every little piece of anything mentally, spiritually, physically, power, money, omnicsience...
I'd be bored.
What's fucking next, is all I'm saying. If that's all life is or can be no matter what...need, sacrifice, effort, restless drive for perfection and satisfaction of things that can't ever be perfect or satisfied. It all sounds like a pretty pointless pain in the ass. I just wish there was some quantifiable end result that matters in any way, based on what you've done, know, felt, thought, shared, caused...
I wish there was a high score.
Maybe I need religion. Some reason to do anything. Because that's really all religion is. A set of rules to the game of life, with a scorekeeper, and a grand prize for kicking ass.
Be it a bevy of virgins, everlasting peace and tranquility, getting to come back as something hoss next time(1up, son!)...
I wonder what religion matches my interests and desires and lifestyle? I also wonder how many people have their chosen religion forced upon them, rather than it be chosen for it's beliefs, morals, goal, and personal interest.
It's GOT to be a high percentage.
I wonder how I can find Sarah Broecker. Wow, I'm not even sure Sarah was her name. But she may have had it right all along.
Sifting through this newfound lie.
Is this all the world has to offer?
And I don't know how much you thought I'd be.
It turns to ashes on me.
Okay, I'm sad. I've BEEN sad for what seems like forever. And It's irritating the fuck out of me, to be honest. It seems like every single thing I do is just to distract myself from how fucking sad I am. What in the fuck can be done about this shit? I mean, is this just...how it is? Facebook's the worst. It's a window into everybody else's daily spontaneous thoughts and actions, and it seems like everybody else that I know, or know in passing, or knew back in second grade, or don't remember even meeting at all, are all sad too. Is that just life? Distracting yourself from how empty, mediocre, unfulfilling, difficult, and dull ninety nine percent of what life has to offer is?
I mean, I can't pretend to be living even close to the full that life has to offer. But goddamn, do I think about it a lot. Ha ha. And even THAT seems like not enough.
I think one of the main curses of the human spirit is that everything is never enough. And I mean it. If I had everything I'd ever wanted, and everything everyone else ever wanted, and held every answer to everything. Every little piece of anything mentally, spiritually, physically, power, money, omnicsience...
I'd be bored.
What's fucking next, is all I'm saying. If that's all life is or can be no matter what...need, sacrifice, effort, restless drive for perfection and satisfaction of things that can't ever be perfect or satisfied. It all sounds like a pretty pointless pain in the ass. I just wish there was some quantifiable end result that matters in any way, based on what you've done, know, felt, thought, shared, caused...
I wish there was a high score.
Maybe I need religion. Some reason to do anything. Because that's really all religion is. A set of rules to the game of life, with a scorekeeper, and a grand prize for kicking ass.
Be it a bevy of virgins, everlasting peace and tranquility, getting to come back as something hoss next time(1up, son!)...
I wonder what religion matches my interests and desires and lifestyle? I also wonder how many people have their chosen religion forced upon them, rather than it be chosen for it's beliefs, morals, goal, and personal interest.
It's GOT to be a high percentage.
I wonder how I can find Sarah Broecker. Wow, I'm not even sure Sarah was her name. But she may have had it right all along.