Tomorrow is my Birthday.
It's been so long since I took in a breath to relieve the tension of the everyday strain. The weight of the air in my chest makes me believe that the heaviness in my heart is real. This heart this body...this mind, I'm far from divinity and I need some stability so please lend me some time. You read my words on the screen and on paper, my feelings collide with the letters and keys of a heartless machine, the mechanisms reveal that what I feel is real. A deal with the devil wouldn't save my soul, just as long as I don't spin out of all control. 19 years of memories that have lead up to this day, I patiently wait for caution to be thrown away and that finally today will be the better day. I won't have to wait, everyday will be the best day, I will smile without hesitation but I won't get lost in generic elation. I won't smile because it's expected of me, but for as long as I can breathe I will smile with an inhale and exhale and I will remember that I can laugh because I'm smiling. I'm living, I'm breathing...take that as you will, I'm thrilled to be alive and I'm happy inside, there's nothing else to feel. In this moment and this time I am exact and impractical despite all of the chaos and strife, it won't impose on my life.