you're not as happy as you think mr. mathews
lets see here. to put into words what im feeling this moment. lets just say that you might as well not even read this, because when i find these words, they're not going to make you smile, they're not going to make you happy, they probably wont create any such feeling other than animosity, so i suggest you stop here....
how can say this and not be so blunt????? hmm fuck having a heart, it's a piece of shit. i need to not care anymore. it always works out so well. but that attracts the unwanted. the ones who like it ruff so to speak, but they're not the one's who want your true heart. they're the ones believing in this facade. the only thing you've got going for you to keep you in company.
i was told once to live life like tomorrow's your death. that way you'll tell everyone what you want so they'll know before you've gone, but like the saying goes "it's easier said than done" because if it was in reality as easy as that, i would probably be happy, because i would have who/what i want out of life and i wouldn't be drowning in my sorrow.
essentially life is a waste of time. whats the point of seeking happiness when it one day will all be ripped from your finger tips. what's the point in being sad? like i said it'll all be over be for you know it any way, but it's so much easier to feel sorry for yourself when you're down than it is too be happy all of the time, well at least for some.
i write in this journal not for commentary, but only to clear my thoughts. i have so many things running around inside of my head, and i can type faster than i can write, and it doesn't come out sloppy. dont feed me comments of pity, dont feed my comments telling me that other people have it worse than i do, because im not fucking stupid, but at this moment nobody else matters but me. call it selfish if you will, but on this hour i am what i am so eat my dick...
how can say this and not be so blunt????? hmm fuck having a heart, it's a piece of shit. i need to not care anymore. it always works out so well. but that attracts the unwanted. the ones who like it ruff so to speak, but they're not the one's who want your true heart. they're the ones believing in this facade. the only thing you've got going for you to keep you in company.
i was told once to live life like tomorrow's your death. that way you'll tell everyone what you want so they'll know before you've gone, but like the saying goes "it's easier said than done" because if it was in reality as easy as that, i would probably be happy, because i would have who/what i want out of life and i wouldn't be drowning in my sorrow.
essentially life is a waste of time. whats the point of seeking happiness when it one day will all be ripped from your finger tips. what's the point in being sad? like i said it'll all be over be for you know it any way, but it's so much easier to feel sorry for yourself when you're down than it is too be happy all of the time, well at least for some.
i write in this journal not for commentary, but only to clear my thoughts. i have so many things running around inside of my head, and i can type faster than i can write, and it doesn't come out sloppy. dont feed me comments of pity, dont feed my comments telling me that other people have it worse than i do, because im not fucking stupid, but at this moment nobody else matters but me. call it selfish if you will, but on this hour i am what i am so eat my dick...