Shove over and let an expert work
I am kind of offended by Best Week Ever's The 100 Hottest Silver Foxes countdown. I'm copying the text list to my lj so I can vent to myself.
100. Anthony Bourdain - Not a big fan, but I know others are so I guess he could stay.
99. Jeff Goldblum
98. Bill Cosby’s Dad Earl Hyman - WTF are you serious.
97. Benicio Del Toro - Ew. He looks like a 20 year old with bad aging make-up.
96. Bill Clinton - Not too keen about him, but I suppose he could stay if he wants.
95. Gerard Butler - Fine. Should definitely be higher.
94. Charlie Rose - Not really.
93. Christopher Lee - GOD, NO. Especially not with that picture.
92. Daniel Day-Lewis
91. Christopher Walken - This list is officially bullshit.
90. Pierce Brosnan - Needs to be top 10, if not higher.
89. David Carradine - No.
88. Dennis Hopper - No.
87. Dr. Drew Pinsky - Yes. Higher, please.
86. Eric Dane - Not really. Besides, I see no gray.
85. Ernest Borgnine - Fuck no.
84. Gandalf the Grey - No.
83. Dustin Hoffman
82. Geoffrey Rush - No.
81. George Clooney - Why the hell isn't he a thousand places higher?!
80. Billy Bob Thornton
79. Harrison Ford - Needs to be higher--but with a different picture.
78. Harvey Keitel - No.
77. James Remar - Harry! Ok, but get a different picture.
76. ANTM’s Jay Manuel - *raises hand* I think it's dyed. No.
75. Jean Reno - No.
74. Richard Gere - Yes. Higher.
73. Jeremy Irons - NEEDS TO BE NUMBER ONE. Guh.
72. The Just For Men Dude - Lol, ok fine.
71. Keith Richards - Don't mock us.
70. David Dickinson - No.
69. Larry Fishburne - No.
68. Michael Caine - Nice guy, but no.
67. Michael Douglas
66. Morgan Freeman - Not really, but it's Morgan Freeman, so I guess he can stay.
65. Paul Newman - But he's--? Whatever, he is kinda hot.
64. Peter O’Toole - NO!
63. David Byrne - Who? No.
62. Rahm Emanuel - Yay! :D
61. Antonio Banderas
60. Robert DeNiro - No.
59. Sam Elliott - No.
58. Mayor Sam Adams - Nah.
57. Brewer Sam Adams - Look, if you guys were having trouble thinking of people, you could have just asked me (my honorable mentions listed at the bottom).
56. Sean Connery - Subtract forty years and come back to me.
55. Sean Penn - Maybe, but he needs to be lower on the list.
54. Steve Martin - No comment. See 55.
53. Sylvester Stallone - Gross. No.
52. Taylor Hicks (we had to) - No, you didn't.
51. Tim Robbins - Who? No.
50. Warren Beatty - No.
49. Patrick Duffy - No.
48. Alec Baldwin - Um, no.
47. Dennis Farina - No.
46. Dr. Andrew Weil - I'm an idiot for thinking the writers would take this list seriously.
45. Bear Grylls (allow us this one.) - Fine, but he's at the bottom.
44. Ben Stiller
43. The New York Times Editor Bill Keller - Not really.
42. Bob Barker - Not funny.
41. Bob Uecker - No.
40. Brett Favre - Nope.
39. British Politician Brian Paddick - No.
38. Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan - No.
37. Charlie “Mr. Sideburns” Rich - Not cool.
36. Craig Ferguson - A thousand times yes. Top ten approved.
35. Frasier’s Dad - Nooooo...
34. George Washington - What do you honestly want me to say?
33. Monsignor George Ganswein - I have no idea who he is, but I suppose he can stay.
32. British Prime Ministier Gordon Brown - Haha, no.
31. Jack Hannah - Ew.
30. Jamie Lee Curtis - THAT'S A WOMAN.
29. James McGreevey - No.
28. John Laroquette - No.
27. John O’Hurley - I'm pretty sure he's a creeper of some sort.
26. John Slattery - Maybe, if he stays towards the bottom of the list.
25. Portuguese Football manager Jose Mourinho - No.
24. Keith Olbermann
23. Intervention’s Ken Seeley - No.
22. Larry David - Someone needs a stern kick to the head. No. Gross. Go away.
21. Evan Farmer - Who? What? Where's the gray?
20. Mark Ruffalo - No.
19. Matt Roloff - *shakes head*
18. Jon Stewart - Top five, please.
17. Defensive Coordinator Mike Nolan - No.
16. Cal Ripken Jr. - No.
15. French President Nicolas Sarkozy - No.
14. Extreme Makeover’s Paul Dimeo - No.
13. Richard Dreyfuss - No.
12. Italian Football Manager Robert Donadoni (name/man swoon) - No.
11. Stedman - What? No way.
10. Sully - NO! Stop being an ass, list.
9. Teen Wolf’s Dad - I'm just seriously pissed now. I know you can't really get angry at BWE, but I feel like I'm being teased.
8. French actor Thierry Lhermitte - I don't know who he is, so, not really.
7. Tim Gunn - Maybe, if he were at the very bottom.
6. Timothy Hutton - No.
5. Tom Brokaw - Sorry, no.
4. Tony Blair - Ha, not really.
3. Victor Garber - No.
2. Queen Bea - *glares*
1. The King of the Silver Foxes Anderson Cooper - I knew he was going to be number one. When I first saw the list, I knew this was how it would turn out. Still, though, I hoped I was wrong; that maybe for once he wouldn't be crowned the top vixen. There are other silver foxes out there, world. Real ones. Truthfully.
My honorable mentions, in no particular order: Brian Williams, Robert Stack, Leslie Nielsen, David Strathairn, Hugh Laurie (SERIOUSLY!), Liam Neeson, David Bowie, Sean Bean, Chris Hansen, Stone Phillips (irrelevant, but why not?), Joe Biden, Jeff Corwin, and hey, even Mike Rowe.
100. Anthony Bourdain - Not a big fan, but I know others are so I guess he could stay.
99. Jeff Goldblum
98. Bill Cosby’s Dad Earl Hyman - WTF are you serious.
97. Benicio Del Toro - Ew. He looks like a 20 year old with bad aging make-up.
96. Bill Clinton - Not too keen about him, but I suppose he could stay if he wants.
95. Gerard Butler - Fine. Should definitely be higher.
94. Charlie Rose - Not really.
93. Christopher Lee - GOD, NO. Especially not with that picture.
92. Daniel Day-Lewis
91. Christopher Walken - This list is officially bullshit.
90. Pierce Brosnan - Needs to be top 10, if not higher.
89. David Carradine - No.
88. Dennis Hopper - No.
87. Dr. Drew Pinsky - Yes. Higher, please.
86. Eric Dane - Not really. Besides, I see no gray.
85. Ernest Borgnine - Fuck no.
84. Gandalf the Grey - No.
83. Dustin Hoffman
82. Geoffrey Rush - No.
81. George Clooney - Why the hell isn't he a thousand places higher?!
80. Billy Bob Thornton
79. Harrison Ford - Needs to be higher--but with a different picture.
78. Harvey Keitel - No.
77. James Remar - Harry! Ok, but get a different picture.
76. ANTM’s Jay Manuel - *raises hand* I think it's dyed. No.
75. Jean Reno - No.
74. Richard Gere - Yes. Higher.
73. Jeremy Irons - NEEDS TO BE NUMBER ONE. Guh.
72. The Just For Men Dude - Lol, ok fine.
71. Keith Richards - Don't mock us.
70. David Dickinson - No.
69. Larry Fishburne - No.
68. Michael Caine - Nice guy, but no.
67. Michael Douglas
66. Morgan Freeman - Not really, but it's Morgan Freeman, so I guess he can stay.
65. Paul Newman - But he's--? Whatever, he is kinda hot.
64. Peter O’Toole - NO!
63. David Byrne - Who? No.
62. Rahm Emanuel - Yay! :D
61. Antonio Banderas
60. Robert DeNiro - No.
59. Sam Elliott - No.
58. Mayor Sam Adams - Nah.
57. Brewer Sam Adams - Look, if you guys were having trouble thinking of people, you could have just asked me (my honorable mentions listed at the bottom).
56. Sean Connery - Subtract forty years and come back to me.
55. Sean Penn - Maybe, but he needs to be lower on the list.
54. Steve Martin - No comment. See 55.
53. Sylvester Stallone - Gross. No.
52. Taylor Hicks (we had to) - No, you didn't.
51. Tim Robbins - Who? No.
50. Warren Beatty - No.
49. Patrick Duffy - No.
48. Alec Baldwin - Um, no.
47. Dennis Farina - No.
46. Dr. Andrew Weil - I'm an idiot for thinking the writers would take this list seriously.
45. Bear Grylls (allow us this one.) - Fine, but he's at the bottom.
44. Ben Stiller
43. The New York Times Editor Bill Keller - Not really.
42. Bob Barker - Not funny.
41. Bob Uecker - No.
40. Brett Favre - Nope.
39. British Politician Brian Paddick - No.
38. Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan - No.
37. Charlie “Mr. Sideburns” Rich - Not cool.
36. Craig Ferguson - A thousand times yes. Top ten approved.
35. Frasier’s Dad - Nooooo...
34. George Washington - What do you honestly want me to say?
33. Monsignor George Ganswein - I have no idea who he is, but I suppose he can stay.
32. British Prime Ministier Gordon Brown - Haha, no.
31. Jack Hannah - Ew.
30. Jamie Lee Curtis - THAT'S A WOMAN.
29. James McGreevey - No.
28. John Laroquette - No.
27. John O’Hurley - I'm pretty sure he's a creeper of some sort.
26. John Slattery - Maybe, if he stays towards the bottom of the list.
25. Portuguese Football manager Jose Mourinho - No.
24. Keith Olbermann
23. Intervention’s Ken Seeley - No.
22. Larry David - Someone needs a stern kick to the head. No. Gross. Go away.
21. Evan Farmer - Who? What? Where's the gray?
20. Mark Ruffalo - No.
19. Matt Roloff - *shakes head*
18. Jon Stewart - Top five, please.
17. Defensive Coordinator Mike Nolan - No.
16. Cal Ripken Jr. - No.
15. French President Nicolas Sarkozy - No.
14. Extreme Makeover’s Paul Dimeo - No.
13. Richard Dreyfuss - No.
12. Italian Football Manager Robert Donadoni (name/man swoon) - No.
11. Stedman - What? No way.
10. Sully - NO! Stop being an ass, list.
9. Teen Wolf’s Dad - I'm just seriously pissed now. I know you can't really get angry at BWE, but I feel like I'm being teased.
8. French actor Thierry Lhermitte - I don't know who he is, so, not really.
7. Tim Gunn - Maybe, if he were at the very bottom.
6. Timothy Hutton - No.
5. Tom Brokaw - Sorry, no.
4. Tony Blair - Ha, not really.
3. Victor Garber - No.
2. Queen Bea - *glares*
1. The King of the Silver Foxes Anderson Cooper - I knew he was going to be number one. When I first saw the list, I knew this was how it would turn out. Still, though, I hoped I was wrong; that maybe for once he wouldn't be crowned the top vixen. There are other silver foxes out there, world. Real ones. Truthfully.
My honorable mentions, in no particular order: Brian Williams, Robert Stack, Leslie Nielsen, David Strathairn, Hugh Laurie (SERIOUSLY!), Liam Neeson, David Bowie, Sean Bean, Chris Hansen, Stone Phillips (irrelevant, but why not?), Joe Biden, Jeff Corwin, and hey, even Mike Rowe.