Accept those heartbreaking facts.
Acceptance is the first part of moving on. Or is it? Accepting this is hard. It just came out of nowhere. I caught on to the signs, I'm really good at that, but why did it happen?
Maybe they all leave me for a reason. Are you going to leave me too? What am I supposed to think or feel now? I lost him. I lost yet another reason to smile. Does he care? Does he know? Now it's the silent treatment.
So I have to accept it.
I have accepted it, but I don't understand it. Acceptance has the strength to pull me up and push me down over and over again... like it wants me to taste the excruciating pain inside my chest.
But it's better this way. I know it is. He's going to be famous someday and all the prettier girls are going to have their filthy hands all over him.
I hate that thought, but I can see it. It will happen. And this was bound to happen sooner than later. I just wish there was nothing between us at all. no matter that he made me feel beautiful or how many times he made me laugh - I'd give it up. you know how they say "it's better to have loved for a while than never be loved at all"? something like that. but that's bullshit. With the love comes pain in the end. Lots of pain. Pain that lasts for months and has no cure but time will heal it eventually. I have nothing to look forward to now. My heart was set on him and my dreams of the winter and next summer all included him.
I am such a fool.
Maybe they all leave me for a reason. Are you going to leave me too? What am I supposed to think or feel now? I lost him. I lost yet another reason to smile. Does he care? Does he know? Now it's the silent treatment.
So I have to accept it.
I have accepted it, but I don't understand it. Acceptance has the strength to pull me up and push me down over and over again... like it wants me to taste the excruciating pain inside my chest.
But it's better this way. I know it is. He's going to be famous someday and all the prettier girls are going to have their filthy hands all over him.
I hate that thought, but I can see it. It will happen. And this was bound to happen sooner than later. I just wish there was nothing between us at all. no matter that he made me feel beautiful or how many times he made me laugh - I'd give it up. you know how they say "it's better to have loved for a while than never be loved at all"? something like that. but that's bullshit. With the love comes pain in the end. Lots of pain. Pain that lasts for months and has no cure but time will heal it eventually. I have nothing to look forward to now. My heart was set on him and my dreams of the winter and next summer all included him.
I am such a fool.