Journal Entry for camp_nowhere
So... Duncan's at camp.
I'm not quite sure how I feel about this just yet, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I mean, it was awkward and uncomfortable and I would have rather skipped the whole thing, but we managed to have an actual conversation for the first time in weeks. Which is important. You know, if I'm ever going to work up the nerve to have that even more uncomfortable conversation about how he got me pregnant.
That is something I'm really not looking forward to. But something I know needs to happen. It's not fair to keep something like this from him. I mean, he should be a part of this baby's life, right? He'd be a good dad. Or, at least I thought he had that potential until he beat the hell out of his car after finding out Logan and Veronica were together. I wonder how he's going to take seeing them as all over each other as they've been here?
I don't know. It's wrong not to tell him, but if he freaks out like that on our child? I couldn't handle it.
I half wish Lizzie knew what was going on. I want to talk to her, get her advice, but I can't put her in the position of having to keep this from Dad.
And while I'm listing things I wished? here's some other things:
Even if that means I have to leave Neptune. I can't let my parents do to my baby what they did to me and my sisters. I'd rather die.
I'm not quite sure how I feel about this just yet, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I mean, it was awkward and uncomfortable and I would have rather skipped the whole thing, but we managed to have an actual conversation for the first time in weeks. Which is important. You know, if I'm ever going to work up the nerve to have that even more uncomfortable conversation about how he got me pregnant.
That is something I'm really not looking forward to. But something I know needs to happen. It's not fair to keep something like this from him. I mean, he should be a part of this baby's life, right? He'd be a good dad. Or, at least I thought he had that potential until he beat the hell out of his car after finding out Logan and Veronica were together. I wonder how he's going to take seeing them as all over each other as they've been here?
I don't know. It's wrong not to tell him, but if he freaks out like that on our child? I couldn't handle it.
I half wish Lizzie knew what was going on. I want to talk to her, get her advice, but I can't put her in the position of having to keep this from Dad.
And while I'm listing things I wished? here's some other things:
- I wish I'd not been so stupid as to think sleeping with Duncan would help me keep him
- I wish I didn't love him so much
- I wish I wasn't pregnant
Even if that means I have to leave Neptune. I can't let my parents do to my baby what they did to me and my sisters. I'd rather die.