(no subject)
sO here I am...January 21, 2008, and as I read my last pOst I had just learned my last living grandfather had been diagnosed with lung cancer...well it just sO happens that abOut 2 weeks agO he was hOspitalized he had tOld us that the radiatiOn had been wOrking and apparently it had but nOt as much as he perceived it tO be...he nOw has terminal brain cancer and basically the man is a gonner...they have him on a respirator which believe me frOm past experiences he will never get off and my poor grandmOther is a wreck. I'm actually greatful that i've been sick fOr the past week sO I can nOt go to see him..I just emOtiOnally can't do it anymOre...and it was funny the saturday that he was admitted we didnt think he was gOing to make it so the whole family was up there and I realized hOw much I don't fit in with them peOple...they may be my family but im a coccia clearly not a sestito. Oh well such as life. So here I am again at 19 years old with nothing but heartache...I must say though I take life for what its worth and I dont feel bad for my self...self-pitty is not an option I think of the whole thing a learning experience I guess... My mother on the other hand has hit her bottom and truth be told im waiting fOr her tO die too...shes soooooo high anymore that she either becoming brain dead or her brain is just failing day after day...when I call to talk to her I cant understand a word she says and I have to live with the fact that i'll never get to speak to her soberly for the rest of my life...that hurts...and im sure there are many people in my situation...I just wish I knew some of them just to know its not only me....on the bright side of things I love my boyfriend to death it will be 5 years in July wOw...im graduating and got accepted to Gwynedd-Mercy which was my number one choice college HurRaY!!!!....and well im looking forward to growing up...I just want a nice job my own house and a few kids with a happy marriage because im just so sick of all the bullshit...well I hope everyone's days are going very well and I wish everyone a healthy 2008 and enjoy every moment as if it were ur last lifes too short to be mad or sad all the time.....take what u can out of it and enjoy every breath you take xO