ikea
Ikea makes me realize how insignificant all this feel will be in 10 years times. When I'm (hopefully, one day) a half of that newlywed couple looking for the right bar stool for the apparent or 1/4 or 1/3 of the new family looking at kiddie beds and brightly colored chairs, the angst and depression and pain experienced as an melodramatic 17-year-old will not matter. It will seem like a lifetime ago. It will have had no effect on me in the long run, hopefully.
Yet, in this moment, where I really am dealing with angst and depressing thoughts and pain associated with everything that happened this year, everything is very, very significant.
I used to tell myself everything happens for a reason. Up until now, I've figured out a way to be grateful for the cruddy stuff that happens because I can look back and say "well if it wasn't for this then that wouldn't have happened and I'm glad that happened." I'm having trouble recreating those connections in order for recent events to make sense.I have yet to find any good to come out of it.