(no subject)
Another new beggining. I lost the one person that made me who I am today. She does not trust me, She hates me at heart, and that really sucks. My heart honestly feels empty...I know I need to move on..but it's so hard. I never knew that caring could hurt someone so much..but i guess sometimes my version of caring can sometimes be harsher then it sounds. I'm an asshole...To many people..i'm not going to lie about that. I am hard on people...I do fight for what I belive in, but sometimes it seems that me fighting for what I belive in really is not worth all the wild. I guess I can use this as the eye opener to MY new beggining. I have two best friends. Tom, and Brandon. You guys mean the world to me, and it's times like these that im so fucking glad I have u both. Even if tom plays wow all day, and brandon's and concieted little puss bag ;P ♥ Just kidding brandon. I'm almost 18...im less then two months away from it. I'm coming to a decision...the decision of who I really want to be in life. The kid that drinks all the time...parties with friends, and starts dumb fights over nothing...or the college bound, responsible, considerate, AWSOME josh that i can be at times. Life really is too short...too short to sit and whine about the girl you absolutly adore, who does not think the same back. Or too short to sit and ruin your best friends relationship because you didnt want to see him get hurt. I dont know what's going to happen now...I'm going to continue to be the person I changed into...I'm going to go to church every sunday...mind my buisness, work, and try to have fun i guess. I'm going to be good friends with caitlin...and go back to the way I was with brandon. Now maybe me brandon and caitlin can all try to find the people we want to be togther. Fuck..as much as I love getting my feelings out on live journal, this shit gets me so stressed. Thanks to all who read. And thanks to all who have loooked past the asshole in myself..and seen who I really am. Not much more to say...goodbye