ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS ABOUT BOXED SETS (and an alternate ending)
A lot of people have been asking, for quite some time, about whether there's going to be a boxed set sort of thing after all of this was said and done. I know a bunch of you have been holding out on purchasing the books because you're waiting for this.
HERE IS AN ANSWER FOR YOU.
See, Lulu doesn't do boxed sets. So I can't really put all of the books in a box. BUT. I do have plans for a super-big-mighty-book containing all four in one tome. I'm working with opaleyes to come up with some extra awesome bonus stuff for that. Guys, I want you to know that most of the incredible bonus stuff is actually opaleyes saying, "THIS WOULD BE COOL" and me going, "WHY ARE YOU SO BRILLIANT" and then magic happens.
Anyway, this will come out after the print version of the fourth book, but before Christmas. So, you know, you can buy a copy for every single person you've ever met.
So you probably already know this, because I wasn't that good at hiding it, but I'm totally Team Christopher. And I kind of hated leaving Frig with Xlormp while Christopher walked off the spaceship, even though that's how it had to happen because in her heart, Frig needs a slimy alien and would always feel that hole in her life for his bitchy abuse if she'd chosen Christopher. So what you're about to read is not cannon, but rather me fangirling my own parody. Because someone in the comments suggested it and because I can. Fellow Team Christophers, THE FOLLOWING IS FOR YOU.
The Most Incredible Work of Literature in the Entire Cosmos
Chapter Q, "An Alternate Ending"
Christopher took a deep breath. "I can't believe we're actually doing this."
I walked over to her. "It's the only way. We talked about it, remember? It's the only way to really, truly, one hundred percent kill off the overlord."
She shook her head. "I know. But I don't think I can deal with it." She stood up. "I'm leaving. I don't want to be here when it happens."
Jessica stood up, too. "Guess that's my cue."
Christopher pulled me aside. I looked at her, and she looked back at me, and there were words I knew I wanted to say, but I couldn't figure out what they were. So instead I said, "What are you going to do?" even though I already knew the answer.
"Me and Jessica are going to bum around the universe, hunting aliens. It's the only thing I'm really good at. Besides, I'd just get in the way here."
Then more awkward silence. I felt like I should say something very important and moving. But instead, I grabbed Christopher up in a hug. "Will I ever see you again?" I managed.
She hugged me back, her usual squeeze in full effect. "I hope so," she said.
And then the hug was over. She turned to Jessica. "Let's go."
I watched them walk toward the door. And suddenly, out of nowhere, something in me snapped. I realized that if Christopher walked out that door, my life would turn into a meaningless boiling pile of crap. Who had saved me from death after perilous death? Who had been nothing but sweetness and awesome to me while the alien I'd chosen to marry had taken months of training to stop slapping me all the time?
"Christopher, wait!" I cried, punching Xlormp in the face and running over to her.
"Yes, Frig?" she swooned, looking deeply into my eyes.
"I...I want to go with you." I stared at her face, the face I'd seen a bazillion times before, and yet had never seemed so radiant.
"You do?" she asked.
I nodded, leaning over and planting an awkward yet sincere kiss on her startled mouth. "I do."
Xlormp cried and pouted like a little baby, and I put my arm around Christopher. Together, we walked out those doors, and into our new life. Jessica went, too. As we flew off in a ship decked out like a disco party, I heard the explosion that could only mean the Earth had blown up. But I didn't care. I knew I was right where I was supposed to be.
~THE OTHER END~
HERE IS AN ANSWER FOR YOU.
See, Lulu doesn't do boxed sets. So I can't really put all of the books in a box. BUT. I do have plans for a super-big-mighty-book containing all four in one tome. I'm working with opaleyes to come up with some extra awesome bonus stuff for that. Guys, I want you to know that most of the incredible bonus stuff is actually opaleyes saying, "THIS WOULD BE COOL" and me going, "WHY ARE YOU SO BRILLIANT" and then magic happens.
Anyway, this will come out after the print version of the fourth book, but before Christmas. So, you know, you can buy a copy for every single person you've ever met.
So you probably already know this, because I wasn't that good at hiding it, but I'm totally Team Christopher. And I kind of hated leaving Frig with Xlormp while Christopher walked off the spaceship, even though that's how it had to happen because in her heart, Frig needs a slimy alien and would always feel that hole in her life for his bitchy abuse if she'd chosen Christopher. So what you're about to read is not cannon, but rather me fangirling my own parody. Because someone in the comments suggested it and because I can. Fellow Team Christophers, THE FOLLOWING IS FOR YOU.
The Most Incredible Work of Literature in the Entire Cosmos
Chapter Q, "An Alternate Ending"
Christopher took a deep breath. "I can't believe we're actually doing this."
I walked over to her. "It's the only way. We talked about it, remember? It's the only way to really, truly, one hundred percent kill off the overlord."
She shook her head. "I know. But I don't think I can deal with it." She stood up. "I'm leaving. I don't want to be here when it happens."
Jessica stood up, too. "Guess that's my cue."
Christopher pulled me aside. I looked at her, and she looked back at me, and there were words I knew I wanted to say, but I couldn't figure out what they were. So instead I said, "What are you going to do?" even though I already knew the answer.
"Me and Jessica are going to bum around the universe, hunting aliens. It's the only thing I'm really good at. Besides, I'd just get in the way here."
Then more awkward silence. I felt like I should say something very important and moving. But instead, I grabbed Christopher up in a hug. "Will I ever see you again?" I managed.
She hugged me back, her usual squeeze in full effect. "I hope so," she said.
And then the hug was over. She turned to Jessica. "Let's go."
I watched them walk toward the door. And suddenly, out of nowhere, something in me snapped. I realized that if Christopher walked out that door, my life would turn into a meaningless boiling pile of crap. Who had saved me from death after perilous death? Who had been nothing but sweetness and awesome to me while the alien I'd chosen to marry had taken months of training to stop slapping me all the time?
"Christopher, wait!" I cried, punching Xlormp in the face and running over to her.
"Yes, Frig?" she swooned, looking deeply into my eyes.
"I...I want to go with you." I stared at her face, the face I'd seen a bazillion times before, and yet had never seemed so radiant.
"You do?" she asked.
I nodded, leaning over and planting an awkward yet sincere kiss on her startled mouth. "I do."
Xlormp cried and pouted like a little baby, and I put my arm around Christopher. Together, we walked out those doors, and into our new life. Jessica went, too. As we flew off in a ship decked out like a disco party, I heard the explosion that could only mean the Earth had blown up. But I didn't care. I knew I was right where I was supposed to be.
~THE OTHER END~