(Untitled)
i am not sure what is going on. there is a definite flow. movements and objects and events pass me by. even though i don't understand how i got here, it doesn't hurt. i have a confused heart. i want to, and i try to always, follow what i feel inside this muscle of love (did you hear? i love you all). but right now, i can't understand the murmurs
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its something you feel or you dont
so...you are not in love with her or...you are
i can understand why you would love her
i understand why anyone would love her
i dont assume anything about you
i know exactly how beautiful her eyes are, i see them everyday and they never change
and how does it feel to know you made her cry
your response to my comment hurt her more than you expected it would
this is how i can say i love her
I LOVE HER
i see everything
and im probably the only person that sees it even more than you
you should apologize
not to me though...to her
i wish you had seen her reaction
seen what your words caused
and as horrible as you think i am
she doesnt
and probably never will
she loves me
she loves you too
the only difference is
she is IN love with me
and her love is only friendly for you
so yes i get it
everything you said
and this isnt to defend myself
this is to let you know what you did to her
making people close to you cry gives you the worst feeling
so how does it feel to know you made the person you claim to be in love with
cry
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Are you so naive and blind to even try to put me on a guilt trip? Fuck you, Kevin. I am sorry to hear that Gisella cried. But, honestly, I don't believe I did anything to hurt her. If I did, it was unintentional. But you, Kevin, you are a different story. How dare you? I know she cried over you, Kevin. And what you did, your cheating and your lies and your hurtful words... they were blatent and purposeful. You knew it would hurt her. You knew it would.
I did apologize to Gisella. But I didn't apologize because you told me to. I said sorry because I never, ever meant to hurt her. To hear that she cried hurt me, badly. I never, ever meant to. But, You are a different story.
I don't know if she is in love with me or not. I doubt she is. I am not worth her love. You are not worth her love. But, I think I can deal with that. This distance between us is what forces me to have to deal with that. But do you really believe that she is in love with you? Think about it, Kevin. Let it plague your mind. Does she really look at you with all the love in her heart?
Your curious question is bullshit, by the way. You were not trying to help things out. You were trying to get me to feel sorry for you, or to think you were "decent." Well, I know more than to even begin to think you were anything but a complete pile of shit. You are not even shit. "Shit" is compliment to you.
Goodbye, Kevin.
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i was trying to help the first time i commented
and if you couldnt tell by what it said
you are a hell of a lot less inteligent than youve been made out to be
i wasnt trying to make you think i was decent
...because im not
and i know that
in fact ive told gisella that
and i know she is in love with me
because she tells me so
and unless you are calling her a liar...
i just thought that you should know what it did to her
if she didnt tell you
and its good that you apologized
because she deserves at least that
and my curiousity was not bullshit
it was just a comment that was well deserved
so dont think about my name
...although im glad my name has such a big impact on you
maybe youll hear my name throughout your entire existence
and think of me
well
bye
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