That fic where Zachary meets the Beetlecast
Title: Beetlemania
Characters: Zach/Eddie, Jaime, Paco, Brenda
Rating: PG
Prompt: It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Word Count: 903
Summary: There's trouble in El Paso, and Jaime calls the Titans for backup. Unfortunately, the only ones available were Zach and Eddie.
Author's Note: Inspired by this thread by touch_of_grey37.
“This was a terrible idea,” moaned Jaime. “Why did we think this was not a terrible idea?”
Eddie shrugged.
“Just be lucky I got him to come along at all,” he said. “Next time, just call Traci or something.”
“I did,” said Jaime. “I even called Booster and Guy. I tried Cassie’s cell phone. And Oracle. You were a last resort.”
“Gee, thanks,” said Eddie. “I love you too.”
“I mean, Zatara was a last resort. No offense,” he added. “But your boyfriend’s kind of a jerk.”
“He’s not that bad,” said Eddie. “He’s a nice guy, once you get to know him.”
“Yeah, okay,” said Jaime. “But I don’t think Brenda wants to get to know him.”
“I’m sorry if I think the amazing Zatara is slightly full of shit,” snapped Brenda, turning around to face the boys.
“And I’m sorry if I think she’s not exactly qualified to make that sort of statement,” Zachary sniffed.
“Yes, since I need a cape and cowl before I can call you an asshole,” said Brenda, arms crossed. “Or a famous cousin.”
“Please,” scoffed Zachary. “It’s a little hard to call nepotism when your power is genetic.”
“Because that’s exactly what I said,” she elbowed Jaime. “See? See how he’s an asshole?”
“I want no part in this,” said Jaime, backing away from Eddie and Zachary’s double-barreled glare. “I am totally neutral.”
“He’s not an asshole,” said Eddie. “He’s just a little, you know, prickly.”
“Thank you, Eddie. I sincerely appreciate being compared to a cactus,” Zachary rolled his eyes. “I can’t imagine what I’ve done to deserve such kindness.”
“Oh, come on! He’s sleeping with you!” yelled Brenda. “What does someone have to do to get on your good side?”
“I wasn’t aware you wanted to be on my good side,” said Zachary coolly. He smirked. “Sorry, but I don’t swing that way.”
“And my sex life is none of your business!” Eddie added.
“Oh my god, you guys,” Jaime sighed in exasperation. “Really?”
“I don’t care which way you swing,” said Brenda with her hands on her hips. “Strange as it may seem, I am not mysteriously in love with you. I know, I know,” she continued. “It must come as something of a shock.”
“It’s not my fault I’m incredibly handsome,” he shrugged. “I know it’s difficult for you to understand, being as you are hideously ugly.”
“You just think that because I have a great personality.”
“Where’s Paco?” said Jaime abruptly. “I’m going to go find Paco.”
“I-that doesn’t even make sense,” said Zachary, puzzled. “But clearly someone has been lying to you. I am very sorry.”
Brenda sighed and turned to Eddie.
“I don’t envy you. I really don’t. And believe me,” she added. “I know from irritating bastards. Speaking of which,” she nodded in greeting, peering just over Eddie’s shoulder. “Hey, Paco.”
“Clearly, she’s talking about some other Paco,” he said, grinning widely. “I, on the hand, am delightful and charming.”
“Paco!” Eddie smiled, relieved. “Remember me?”
“Jaime’s buddy in bromance? How could I-”
“EXCUSE ME?” screeched Zachary. “Bromance? Did you just say bromance? Eddie and Jaime do not have a bromance. Eddie does not need to have a bromance, least of all with someone that isn’t me.”
Brenda and Paco both stared at him, dumbfounded.
“I, uh, didn’t mean to, you know, imply-” Paco started.
“Don’t bother,” sighed Brenda.
“Zat, can we talk for a minute?” asked Eddie. “Um, in private?”
“Yeah, no problem,” said Paco hastily. “We’ll just go, uh, clean up the ectoplasm or something,” he started to walk. “C’mon, Brenda.”
She quirked an eyebrow and followed over to Jaime, who was rapidly vaporizing giant green globs of goo.
“Yeah, because it looks like Jaime could use our help,” said Brenda, smirking.
“Shut up,” Paco mumbled. “Who was that kid, anyway?”
Eddie sighed and crossed his arms.
“Zat,” he said. “Zat, there’s nothing going on between me and Jaime. You know that.” Zachary rolled his eyes. “I’m serious, Zat. He’s just my friend. I can have friends, you know.”
“You don’t flirt with your friends, Eddie,” said Zachary.
“I don’t flirt with Jaime! Paco was just teasing, I swear,” he grabbed Zachary’s wrist. “Come on, Zat. You know how I feel about you. You don’t need to jealous, ‘cos I like you way more than anyone else.” He smiled tentativel.y. “So, are you done being mad?”
Zachary rolled his eyes again, but he leaned into Eddie’s embrace.
“You don’t have to spend so much time with him,” grumbled Zachary. “You spend more time with him than with me.”
“Wow,” said Eddie, pulling away from the hug long enough to stare at him in amazement. “I’m going to tell everyone we know you said that. Nobody believes me when I say you have feelings.”
“That’s because they are idiots, Eddie,” said Zachary. “And you will do no such thing.”
“Anyway, we spend so much time together because we’re on the same team. And you know,” he paused, raising an eyebrow. “You could always-”
“Nice try,” Zachary interrupted. “I maintain your team is embarrassingly bad.”
“Worth a shot,” said Eddie. “Come on, Zat,” he nuzzled his neck. “Let’s go.”
Jaime saw the flash of light and looked up from his ectoplasm, frowning.
“Man,” he said. “He didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Heh,” Paco smirked. “You are so lucky his boyfriend didn’t hear you say that.”
Characters: Zach/Eddie, Jaime, Paco, Brenda
Rating: PG
Prompt: It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Word Count: 903
Summary: There's trouble in El Paso, and Jaime calls the Titans for backup. Unfortunately, the only ones available were Zach and Eddie.
Author's Note: Inspired by this thread by touch_of_grey37.
“This was a terrible idea,” moaned Jaime. “Why did we think this was not a terrible idea?”
Eddie shrugged.
“Just be lucky I got him to come along at all,” he said. “Next time, just call Traci or something.”
“I did,” said Jaime. “I even called Booster and Guy. I tried Cassie’s cell phone. And Oracle. You were a last resort.”
“Gee, thanks,” said Eddie. “I love you too.”
“I mean, Zatara was a last resort. No offense,” he added. “But your boyfriend’s kind of a jerk.”
“He’s not that bad,” said Eddie. “He’s a nice guy, once you get to know him.”
“Yeah, okay,” said Jaime. “But I don’t think Brenda wants to get to know him.”
“I’m sorry if I think the amazing Zatara is slightly full of shit,” snapped Brenda, turning around to face the boys.
“And I’m sorry if I think she’s not exactly qualified to make that sort of statement,” Zachary sniffed.
“Yes, since I need a cape and cowl before I can call you an asshole,” said Brenda, arms crossed. “Or a famous cousin.”
“Please,” scoffed Zachary. “It’s a little hard to call nepotism when your power is genetic.”
“Because that’s exactly what I said,” she elbowed Jaime. “See? See how he’s an asshole?”
“I want no part in this,” said Jaime, backing away from Eddie and Zachary’s double-barreled glare. “I am totally neutral.”
“He’s not an asshole,” said Eddie. “He’s just a little, you know, prickly.”
“Thank you, Eddie. I sincerely appreciate being compared to a cactus,” Zachary rolled his eyes. “I can’t imagine what I’ve done to deserve such kindness.”
“Oh, come on! He’s sleeping with you!” yelled Brenda. “What does someone have to do to get on your good side?”
“I wasn’t aware you wanted to be on my good side,” said Zachary coolly. He smirked. “Sorry, but I don’t swing that way.”
“And my sex life is none of your business!” Eddie added.
“Oh my god, you guys,” Jaime sighed in exasperation. “Really?”
“I don’t care which way you swing,” said Brenda with her hands on her hips. “Strange as it may seem, I am not mysteriously in love with you. I know, I know,” she continued. “It must come as something of a shock.”
“It’s not my fault I’m incredibly handsome,” he shrugged. “I know it’s difficult for you to understand, being as you are hideously ugly.”
“You just think that because I have a great personality.”
“Where’s Paco?” said Jaime abruptly. “I’m going to go find Paco.”
“I-that doesn’t even make sense,” said Zachary, puzzled. “But clearly someone has been lying to you. I am very sorry.”
Brenda sighed and turned to Eddie.
“I don’t envy you. I really don’t. And believe me,” she added. “I know from irritating bastards. Speaking of which,” she nodded in greeting, peering just over Eddie’s shoulder. “Hey, Paco.”
“Clearly, she’s talking about some other Paco,” he said, grinning widely. “I, on the hand, am delightful and charming.”
“Paco!” Eddie smiled, relieved. “Remember me?”
“Jaime’s buddy in bromance? How could I-”
“EXCUSE ME?” screeched Zachary. “Bromance? Did you just say bromance? Eddie and Jaime do not have a bromance. Eddie does not need to have a bromance, least of all with someone that isn’t me.”
Brenda and Paco both stared at him, dumbfounded.
“I, uh, didn’t mean to, you know, imply-” Paco started.
“Don’t bother,” sighed Brenda.
“Zat, can we talk for a minute?” asked Eddie. “Um, in private?”
“Yeah, no problem,” said Paco hastily. “We’ll just go, uh, clean up the ectoplasm or something,” he started to walk. “C’mon, Brenda.”
She quirked an eyebrow and followed over to Jaime, who was rapidly vaporizing giant green globs of goo.
“Yeah, because it looks like Jaime could use our help,” said Brenda, smirking.
“Shut up,” Paco mumbled. “Who was that kid, anyway?”
Eddie sighed and crossed his arms.
“Zat,” he said. “Zat, there’s nothing going on between me and Jaime. You know that.” Zachary rolled his eyes. “I’m serious, Zat. He’s just my friend. I can have friends, you know.”
“You don’t flirt with your friends, Eddie,” said Zachary.
“I don’t flirt with Jaime! Paco was just teasing, I swear,” he grabbed Zachary’s wrist. “Come on, Zat. You know how I feel about you. You don’t need to jealous, ‘cos I like you way more than anyone else.” He smiled tentativel.y. “So, are you done being mad?”
Zachary rolled his eyes again, but he leaned into Eddie’s embrace.
“You don’t have to spend so much time with him,” grumbled Zachary. “You spend more time with him than with me.”
“Wow,” said Eddie, pulling away from the hug long enough to stare at him in amazement. “I’m going to tell everyone we know you said that. Nobody believes me when I say you have feelings.”
“That’s because they are idiots, Eddie,” said Zachary. “And you will do no such thing.”
“Anyway, we spend so much time together because we’re on the same team. And you know,” he paused, raising an eyebrow. “You could always-”
“Nice try,” Zachary interrupted. “I maintain your team is embarrassingly bad.”
“Worth a shot,” said Eddie. “Come on, Zat,” he nuzzled his neck. “Let’s go.”
Jaime saw the flash of light and looked up from his ectoplasm, frowning.
“Man,” he said. “He didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Heh,” Paco smirked. “You are so lucky his boyfriend didn’t hear you say that.”