passing the exam.
National Coming Out Day should involve straights so we could see just who is straight and who is gay. everyone should wear a black pin if you're straight because straights are ugly and black is an ugly color. and gay people should wear pink. because i know if "straight acting" queers had to wear pink it would piss them off and i can't believe a color has such a stigma to it.
everyone should have to line up and we all should have to give speeches about our own sexuality. we talk about fucking minorities but we ignore sexuality because we think it has to do with SEX. (well, with gay people, that is true. we are a horny colony.) but education is the answer to ignorance. one of my straight friends told me that if i were ever to become a gay activist, she fears that i would end up killing straights. i might have to agree. here is my speech for national coming out day.
~~~FIRST OF ALL~~~ (by richi bee kim)
First of all, a lot of you are gay and you won't ever figure it out until you're 67, divorced, with 3 children, lonely, still horny, and flaccid. don't worry, it happens. don't freak out. it's just the "popping out of a cake" syndrome of sexuality... SURPRISE! YOU'RE GAY!
Secondly, if you ARE gay and out, don't complain about it because at least you know now and can get adjusted... instead of realizing it when you're 67, divorced, with 3 children, still horny, and flaccid.
Thirdly, if you know you are gay and you're not out, that's ok. but do yourself a favor and just come out of the closet so you can get all the sex you deserve. or at least as much sex as straight people have. plus, i'm really looking for a boyfriend and i'm getting impatient with your patience to keep acting like you're straight. if you're so tough get over it. it really isn't that hard. the year IS 2003 isn't it?
Fourthly, not all gay people like to have sex with children, or like to dress in drag, or like to wear designer sunglasses in the winter, or like to walk like diner waitresses from the south in the 1950s. we REALLY do NOT have to swing our arms back and forth THAT much when we walk u faggots.
one time some ugly greek girl wanted to talk to me. she said "you're gay. so that means you like to have sex with little kids?"
Girlfriends, please do some research online about gay people before you ask those important questions. that's like saying to a straight person "you're straight. so that means you like to watch football, wear wife beaters, and rub hot irons onto your wife's face when she doesn't get you a beer. right?"
Fifthly, don't say FAG if you're straight unless you have permission by a gay person. you wouldn't call a black person "nigger" to their face u pussies now would you? and if you would, u have far worse problems... so dont ever call a fag "fag" to his face. it's the millennium and we're getting tougher (if you don't know this just check out those sexy bodies in all the gay magazines). we could give you straights a run for your money and kick your asses.
sixthly, i feel as if a straight guy looked at a gay magazine, (not a gay porn, a gay culture magazine), he would turn gay. how can you resist that masculinity? you already jerk off your cocks DAILY (we all know stop keeping it a secret) so you're halfway there. just be BI. then u can have the best of both worlds. i GUESS there could be some good things about vaginas...
seventhly, stop being so mean to gay people. being homophobic is so silly. what the hell do you care who's ass im sticking my dick into? do u really think i care who's vagina you're sticking your dick into? not really. don't hate just cause guys know how to suck better dick than girls do. dont hate cause we always have great sex.
in conclusion, all guys should just be gay. even though we're gay, we're STILL guys. so we're just as horny and just as stupid as you straight idiots. we just don't like sports. that's all. is that so hard to live with? girls don't like sports either unless it has to do with the Boston Red Sox, or unless they are dykes.
don't worry. gays will rules the world. i promise. 1 in every 7 is gay. look around. who amongst you are you fooling? DUN DUN DUN!
everyone should have to line up and we all should have to give speeches about our own sexuality. we talk about fucking minorities but we ignore sexuality because we think it has to do with SEX. (well, with gay people, that is true. we are a horny colony.) but education is the answer to ignorance. one of my straight friends told me that if i were ever to become a gay activist, she fears that i would end up killing straights. i might have to agree. here is my speech for national coming out day.
~~~FIRST OF ALL~~~ (by richi bee kim)
First of all, a lot of you are gay and you won't ever figure it out until you're 67, divorced, with 3 children, lonely, still horny, and flaccid. don't worry, it happens. don't freak out. it's just the "popping out of a cake" syndrome of sexuality... SURPRISE! YOU'RE GAY!
Secondly, if you ARE gay and out, don't complain about it because at least you know now and can get adjusted... instead of realizing it when you're 67, divorced, with 3 children, still horny, and flaccid.
Thirdly, if you know you are gay and you're not out, that's ok. but do yourself a favor and just come out of the closet so you can get all the sex you deserve. or at least as much sex as straight people have. plus, i'm really looking for a boyfriend and i'm getting impatient with your patience to keep acting like you're straight. if you're so tough get over it. it really isn't that hard. the year IS 2003 isn't it?
Fourthly, not all gay people like to have sex with children, or like to dress in drag, or like to wear designer sunglasses in the winter, or like to walk like diner waitresses from the south in the 1950s. we REALLY do NOT have to swing our arms back and forth THAT much when we walk u faggots.
one time some ugly greek girl wanted to talk to me. she said "you're gay. so that means you like to have sex with little kids?"
Girlfriends, please do some research online about gay people before you ask those important questions. that's like saying to a straight person "you're straight. so that means you like to watch football, wear wife beaters, and rub hot irons onto your wife's face when she doesn't get you a beer. right?"
Fifthly, don't say FAG if you're straight unless you have permission by a gay person. you wouldn't call a black person "nigger" to their face u pussies now would you? and if you would, u have far worse problems... so dont ever call a fag "fag" to his face. it's the millennium and we're getting tougher (if you don't know this just check out those sexy bodies in all the gay magazines). we could give you straights a run for your money and kick your asses.
sixthly, i feel as if a straight guy looked at a gay magazine, (not a gay porn, a gay culture magazine), he would turn gay. how can you resist that masculinity? you already jerk off your cocks DAILY (we all know stop keeping it a secret) so you're halfway there. just be BI. then u can have the best of both worlds. i GUESS there could be some good things about vaginas...
seventhly, stop being so mean to gay people. being homophobic is so silly. what the hell do you care who's ass im sticking my dick into? do u really think i care who's vagina you're sticking your dick into? not really. don't hate just cause guys know how to suck better dick than girls do. dont hate cause we always have great sex.
in conclusion, all guys should just be gay. even though we're gay, we're STILL guys. so we're just as horny and just as stupid as you straight idiots. we just don't like sports. that's all. is that so hard to live with? girls don't like sports either unless it has to do with the Boston Red Sox, or unless they are dykes.
don't worry. gays will rules the world. i promise. 1 in every 7 is gay. look around. who amongst you are you fooling? DUN DUN DUN!