When You're the Best of Friends, 19a/?
Title: When You’re the Best of Friends
Chapter Title: Kurt's Major Appliance
Author: xLessxThanx3x
Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt Hummel, Noah Puckerman, Artie Abrams, Blaine Anderson, Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, Dave Karofsky, Sam Evans, Mercedes Jones, Tina Cohen-Chang, Warblers Current Pairings: Pucktana, Bartie, mentions of Fabrevans
Genre: fluff, angst, cuddly gooey goodness
Warnings: AU, bullying, harassment
Spoilers: Nothing past "Never Been Kissed"
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee nor any songs mentioned
Author Notes: Part of a series, cross posted to my ff.net account. So sorry for how long this has taken, thank you to anyone who has spent time reading this. Bless you all.
Summary: AU. Puck and Kurt hold hands, cuddle, know each other’s biggest secrets, and make the other a priority…but they’re not dating, they’ve just been best friends for years. Multi-chapter. Eventual Puckurt. Based off a Puckurt meme prompt.
(Chapter Summary: Kurt's bullying situation keeps getting worse and worse, but meeting a new friend might just help him. Meanwhile, Puck tries to help get Artie laid for community service.)
Word Count: 10,950
"I take it we have a lot of sweater trains to look forward to this season," Tina said with her typical, sweet smile whenever she talked about Kurt's clothes.
Kurt immediately relaxed, glad that the person he heard walking up from behind him wasn't Karofsky. He smiled his normal, proud smile at receiving a compliment on his clothes and continued walking with her. Before he could even comment on it, however, his whole center of gravity was thrown off and he was banging against the lockers next to him, just barely managing to get his hands up to stop his face from getting hit as well.
"You okay?" Tina asked. She expected him to yell after Karofsky, much like he did during the last school year when Karofsky had attacked them for dressing like Gaga.
But instead he watched Karofsky go and quietly whispered in a defeated voice, "Yeah…I'm fine." It took Tina a few moments to realize what emotion was actually on Kurt's face, something she hadn't seen on there before.
He was afraid.
-
Kurt hated the mash up challenge. Like, seriously, it was the worst challenge he could ever be given. Not only was it completely unoriginal, but without Noah there he felt completely unwelcome on the boys' team. The year before wasn't a success with the whole Vitamin D fiasco, but at least he had Noah to actually make him feel wanted, who actually listened to his ideas and made the others respect him. But now? Now none of them would listen to him since none of them were really his friend. Artie seemed to hate everyone ever since his break up with Tina; Mike was always friendly but he never talked enough for Kurt to actually feel a strong friendship; Sam was sweet and dopey, but ever since he said those words about Quinn as his duet partner, Kurt felt a slight stabbing pain whenever he saw him; and then there was Finn.
He had spent hours upon hours with that boy over the summer on "family" dates, dinners and lunches and even game nights. And while they always beat their parents at Trivial Pursuit (Finn's sports knowledge combined with Kurt's pop culture knowledge was nearly unbeatable) and Scene It! (Finn saved the day with an answer about the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, something Kurt had never seen before), they never actually bonded. In fact, when they had cheered over winning that game of Scene It! where Finn answered the final question, they got near a hug and Finn had been awkward the rest of the night. The fact of the matter was that Finn still wasn't comfortable around Kurt so Kurt couldn't be comfortable around him; he couldn't be comfortable around a guy who was like a lesser version of Karofsky, afraid that the little freak was trying to touch his junk (when Kurt had barely even touched his own junk, let alone thought of touching anyone else's).
But as unwelcome as he was on the boys' team, he wasn't super comfortable on the girls', either, not that Mr. Schue cared either way. Quinn had seemed to forgotten about any friendship that she had with him (and with Mercedes for that matter) now that she had a Cheerios uniform and the hottest guy in school willing to do whatever she wanted. Brittany never hated him, of course, but she wasn't a close friend and hadn't been since they were both very young; now she was just kind of there, not inviting but not unwelcoming. Then there was Santana who had to look right at him when she made the gay joke earlier in the Glee club meeting, the girl who never failed to try to tear him apart for his sexuality. Of course he had Mercedes and Tina, but he felt himself drawing away from them two of them, and now that Tina had seen what he was going through he felt like pulling away even more.
So, there he was, a man with no real team. He wasn't man enough to be accepted by all the guys and he wasn't feminine enough to be allowed on the girls' team.
It was going to be one long ass week.
-
Getting shoved into a set of lockers once in a day was bad enough. But twice? That was enough to finally wake up the fire in one Kurt Hummel.
"What is your problem?" He yelled after Karofsky.
The larger boy immediately turned around, "You talkin' back to me?" He started coming back, adding, "You want a piece of The Fury?"
"The Fury?"
"That's what I named my fist."
"Well, with that level of creativity, you could easily become an assistant manager at a rendering plant," Kurt scoffed, knowing that his tormenter wouldn't realize what it meant.
"…I don't know what that is," Dave said, anger pulsing in every word while Kurt held back a smirk, "But if I find out that it's bad, The Fury's going to find you." With that he pushed Kurt back into the lockers and went on his way.
As Kurt caught his breath and looked up at the ceiling to stop any tears from forming, he didn't notice Mr. Schue walk up to him. "Hey," he said softly, resisting the urge to place a hand on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt looked up and Mr. Schue looked at him with concern. He knew that straight out comforting Kurt like he did with his other students wouldn't work; he had to be sneakier with him.
"Do you…do you want some water?"
Kurt raised a perfectly shaped brow at him, but he nodded and followed his teacher to his office. He sat down primly, his demeanor back into place as Mr. Schuester filled up a small paper cup with water.
"Is there anything that I can do?" Mr. Schue asked as he handed Kurt the cup.
Kurt sighed and took the glass. "No," he said, "This is my hill to climb alone." He raised the cup to his lips and sipped some water down silently.
"Do you know when Noah gets back?"
Kurt looked down at his cup. It wasn't a weird question since they had all heard him yell that he was going to be friends with Noah again, but he couldn't help but feel that Mr. Schue was just asking since he expected Kurt to use him for protection. "I don't know," he answered quietly. Then he looked up at his teacher, eyes narrowed, "But I'm not burdening him with this; it has nothing to do with him."
"Wouldn't he want to know that his best friend is struggling?" The teen merely shrugged in reply, refusing to acknowledge that with an answer. "Look, Kurt, I'm not going to pretend that I understand your relationship with Noah and I'm not going to pretend that I'm close to either of you," Kurt snorted and nodded his head, aggravating Mr. Schuester a bit but he continued on, "But as your friend, he deserves to know that you're hurting."
"I'm not hurting," Kurt immediately corrected. "I'm furious, but I'm not hurting. I'm not helpless, Mr. Schue, and I don't need someone bigger and stronger to take care of me. I'm not a little girl."
"I never said you were, Kurt, or that you needed protection; I just think that closing yourself off isn't going to help things," Mr. Schue explained. Kurt still looked doubtful, avoiding his teacher's eyes by looking at the cup in his hand, looking small (and helpless, though Mr. Schue would never tell him that) despite his superior attitude firmly attached.
Mr. Schue never expected to see Kurt like this but, then again, he never expected to see Kurt without Puck and that happened, too. It was just strange since Kurt, while catty a lot of the time, always had an air of happiness around him. Then they came back from summer break and Will was sure he had never seen someone his age seem so cold and distant. Then the mask broke while his father was in the hospital to reveal a very hurt and lonely human being. It was the first time Mr. Schue had been able to connect with Kurt since he was finally allowing himself to be vulnerable with someone besides Noah.
For a while after, his mask stayed off; he laughed, he smiled, he was happy, and Mr. Schue could only assume Kurt had made up with Puck. Then, all at once, Kurt was closed off again, giving attitude in class and avoiding his friends and shying from the spotlight he used to crave with every fiber of his body. And, finally, Will found out why Kurt was isolating himself, a wedge driving between him and his classmates in the form of a student terrorizing him.
He had never really noticed Kurt getting bullied before. It had taken months after the dumpster dives went out of style before Will realized that the boys surrounding Kurt by the trash weren't trying to be friends with Kurt. He had felt so stupid for not realizing it, but he figured there was nothing he could do at that point but be ready to stop any other bullying. But except for the incident Finn and Noah handled with Azimio and Karofsky, he hadn't noticed anything happen to Kurt.
The kids were good at being out of eyeshot. If they weren't doing such a horrible thing, Mr. Schue would have to commend them for hiding from teachers so well. And even though he knew Karofsky had done something to Kurt, he was walking away at that point and Will had no real proof. He couldn't report the kid if he had nothing to report, and he knew Kurt wouldn't turn him in, either.
"Can I be honest?" Mr. Schue finally asked. Kurt lifted his head and nodded, slightly interested in what Mr. Schue had to offer. "I think it's getting to you," he continued, Kurt frowning. "Lately you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away-"
"Can I be honest with you?" Kurt asked. As soon as Mr. Schue started his nod, Kurt said, "You, just like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide." And just because he was angry enough to say it, he added, "And your lesson plans are boring and repetitive. Boys versus girls? That doesn't challenge any of us."
"You mean because I didn't let you join the girls like you wanted."
Kurt ignored that and stood up, gathering his messenger bag and heading towards the door, "To answer your question, yes, I am unhappy, and yes, being the only out gay kid at this school brings me down." He stood at the door to Mr. Schue's office and continued, "But, most of all, I'm not challenged in the least here."
Mr. Schue sighed and leaned back in his chair after Kurt left. Kurt was right about the not being challenged in school part; Will had to get the kids to fill out grade sheets and have it signed by their teachers once a month to make sure their grades were high enough to be in an extracurricular activity. Except for his math class, Kurt was in all honors and AP courses, acing every class available, and this was even when he was dealing with his father's hospitalization.
But as bad as he felt that Kurt wasn't challenged, he had no control over helping him get challenged in any of his classes; Kurt had even dropped Spanish to focus on just French, meaning Kurt only saw him in Glee club. But maybe, just maybe, he could make Glee club more enjoyable for the boy. But how?
Well, Kurt wanted to be on the girls' team, and while it made sense because he was closer to the girl than the boys who were in the club at the moment, song choice had to be a part of it, too. Kurt was definitely more of a "Halo" and "Walking on Sunshine" guy than a Bon Jovi and Usher guy. Kurt wanted to be on the girls' team because he could actually enjoy the music they did.
Mr. Schue knew just how to fix that.
-
Kurt was ecstatic at Mr. Schue's changes to the mash-up challenge. The songs they'd have to do would involve him having to sing lead, how could they not? And even if he wasn't with Noah, at least he was doing songs he liked.
He sat up the charts and started lecturing the boys on what they were going to do. "Now obviously for this melody to work I'll have to sing lead. And when you're singing Diana Ross, boas are a must," he said, nearing the end.
"Isn't this lesson about opposites? I mean you in sequin gown and a boa is exactly what you'd expect?" Artie asked.
"Okay who said anything about a gown?" Kurt asked back. Why did everyone assume that just because he had a kilt and just because he was gay that he wanted to dress like a girl? And while Artie and he weren't best friends, especially not since he was close to Tina and they were broken up, Kurt didn't expect him to say something vaguely homophobic and attacking of him.
"If we're supposed to do opposites, I think we should emphasize the male aspect, like, suits and lower voices singing, that's all," Artie shrugged.
"So…basically you don't think I can help at all this week," Kurt said hostily.
Artie really was trying to think logically, it wasn't like he was mad at Kurt or anything. "Kurt, I just want us to win the contest. We were so going to win last year until we got busted for Vitamin D. And, really, come to think of it, you were the one who told them about it."
"I-I was just trying to even the playing field," Kurt said. He felt embarrassed and hurt that none of the other guys were fighting back to help him, but he shouldn't have been so surprised. None of them seemed to notice how Karofsky had been treating him, either, so why notice any other forms of bullying?
"How about you level the playing fields for something bigger. For something like, say, Sectionals," Artie suggested as Sam started playing a game on his phone, oblivious to the whole scene. "You can check out Dalton and tell us what their show choir is like there. We need to know how good these guys actually are."
Kurt looked around the room. Finn and Mike stared in shock at Artie while Sam didn't seem to even know what was going on. Of course he shouldn't have expected support of any kind from them, they weren't really friends, but it still hurt. Maybe he should just try to leave and go to the supposed Gay School and just never come back. At least not until Noah was there to be his friend; he really missed his hugs.
"…Fine," Kurt finally said, grabbing his stuff and leaving.
Finn and Mike made shocked, confused eye contact with each other. Kurt had proved there was a lot of anger and strength underneath his cold mask, yet he had given up after barely putting up a fight. What the hell just happened?
-
"Detainee Noah Puckerman."
Puck stood up and walked over to the desk that had called him. At it sat a woman who introduced himself as his parole officer. "Parole officer?" Puck asked, all he could focus on, not even bothering to remember her name, "I'm getting out of here?"
"That's what we're here to discuss," she said, filing some papers. "Now I've talked with the lawyers and you've already been convicted, but we'll let you out early with parole." She looked up at him, "So you have to do some community service to make up for time lost. The easiest option and the one most men choose is to help clean up the highway."
"Like picking up trash?" Puck asked, frowning as she nodded. "Um, I had a skin cancer scare last year? I think my mom would freak out if I worked in the sun all day."
The woman frowned back. "Okay. Well, your grades aren't too bad, you might be able to tutor inner city kids."
Puck shook his head, "Kids kind of depress me." He stared back at her, sensing her growing frustration but not willing to tell her that it just reminded him of the daughter he had to give up.
"Fine," she sighed. "You can volunteer at a retirement community. Or at a library. Or help the disabled-"
"Wait, really? I didn't think that really counted," Puck said with a smile. "I know a guy in a wheelchair, I can totally help him out and stuff."
"Good," she replied, relieved to be done working through those ideas. "Here are your community service forms," she explained as she handed over some pieces of paper, "You get those signed by the head of the program you do it through and you'll be all set. Okay?"
"Yes, ma'am," Puck replied, smiling widely. He figured he could just get Artie to sign them.
"Now sign and date here and write down what you're doing for your service," she added, handing him a pen and a clipboard.
Puck took it and immediately did as she said, writing the description Hanging out with a crip. That counted, right? He handed the sheet back to her and stood up. "Thank you so much. I won't let you down, I promise."
"That's what I like to hear. You should be able to leave in a few hours."
Puck smiled again and left, going back to where the guards waited for him. Just a few more hours until he was free. He could shave his Mohawk back. He'd be able to see Kurt without a diving glass. He could hug him and see Burt and kiss Sara's forehead and get some freaking action. And all he had to do was help Artie, and he'd do it by getting him laid, too.
It was almost too easy.
-
"It shouldn't be this easy to sneak into a private school," Kurt muttered to himself as he followed the crowd of boys. They all seemed eager about something, but he had no idea what it was. It was too late in the day for lunch and it was too early to be getting out of school. He peered at them over his incognito sunglasses, all of them running much too fast for him to stop them, talking loudly to each other. Eventually he took off his glass and finally found a friendly face who was actually keeping to himself instead of jabbering with people. Perfect.
"Excuse me," Kurt said as the boy stepped off the stairs-was he looking at a pocket watch? "I have a question…I'm new here."
"My name's Blaine," the kid said right away, offering his hand.
Kurt was taken aback enough to smile. He was "new" but the guy just introduced himself instead of planning some way to humiliate him like they did at McKinley. It also helped that the guy was kind of cute, especially when he smiled. "I'm Kurt," he said after a moment, shaking Blaine's hand.
"So what exactly's going on?" Kurt asked.
"The Warblers! Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons; it tends to shut the school down for a while," Blaine explained.
That just confused Kurt more. "So wait…your Glee club here is cool?"
"The Warblers are like rock stars," Blaine said as if it was the most obvious fact in the world. At Kurt's disbelieving brows, Blaine grabbed his hand and said, "C'mon, I know a shortcut." Kurt didn't have time to say anything before he was yanked down a different hallway, no kids in sight.
The last hand Kurt had held was his dad's in the hospital. It was strange to realize that even though he had been seeing Noah, he hadn't been holding his hand or making any physical contact whatsoever. He hadn't held Noah's hand for half a year. And suddenly there was a cute guy holding his hand and smiling at him that cute smile and being nice to him even though he was a supposedly new student. Maybe Santana was right; maybe they were all gay at Dalton.
No. He wasn't going to think like that. Blaine was just being nice. It had nothing to do with his sexuality. Holding his hand was just a way to make it easier for him to lead Kurt, not a way to flirt with him.
It just felt nice. That was the best way to describe it: nice. There was another boy besides his best friend who held his hand, and, really, that had to be a sign of being gay, right? Why else would he hold it as he lead Kurt through a pretty open hallway he couldn't get lost in? No straight guys at McKinley would be willing to do that.
Maybe Dalton was just that accepting. Maybe the little butterflies he felt at another guy holding his hand needed to be stopped before they burst out of their cocoons. Maybe he was over thinking everything.
But before Kurt knew it, Blaine opened a door to a full room of students and Kurt realized just how bad his jacket choice was. "I stick out like a sore thumb," he mumbled.
"Well, next time, don't forget your jacket, new kid; you'll fit right in," Blaine said, fixing Kurt's collar and giving him a wink. Kurt was totally caught and all he could do was smile at Blaine's smile; it was really infectious. He put his bag down on a chair to the side and said, "Now if you'll excuse me…" with that he walked away to join the boys starting back up vocals.
"Before you met me, I was alright …" Blaine started to sing and it slowly dawned on Kurt that this Blaine guy was their lead singer (and, he realized, the guy wasn't really that tall; he was probably around how tall he was six months or so ago).
Of course Kurt recognized the song, but it was a completely different feel from the Katy Perry original. For one, it was sung by a guy and backed up by a chorus of men. For another, the audience was full of guys who loved the song and the performance; there was even a guy fist pumping in the corner. The guys at McKinley wouldn't be caught dead cheering on a performance of male singers performing Katy Perry. They wouldn't even cheer on the girls doing Katy Perry.
Then there was the fact that all the boys pointed at a guy at the chorus and no one cared. But Kurt couldn't focus on that because Blaine had pointed right at him. Blaine kept looking at him, making flirty and suggestive eye contact, and looking pointedly at him when he mentioned his skintight jeans. He had to be flirting, so that meant he had to be gay…right? Or maybe he was just being lulled into a false feeling of safety just so they could punish him for spying.
…But they wouldn't. No. Right? No.
His mind kept going through that cycle for the rest of the performance but he still couldn't stop smiling at the whole performance. When the song ended, Kurt clapped enthusiastically, feeling like a '90s preteen girl at an *NSYNC concert. He was totally won over by the guys and he was their competition. They were so screwed at Sectionals.
He pulled out his phone and started backing up, planning on leaving to report back before Blaine punished him for spying. But before he could get too far, Blaine called out, "Hey, Kurt the Spy, come back!"
Kurt froze. He could easily leave, but Blaine was doing that cute smile thing again and no jerk who was trying to humiliate him would smile like that. Probably. Maybe.
After a few moments of hesitation he walked back over to Blaine, two guys now flanking his side. "Wes? David?" Blaine said to the boys, "Let's take the 'new kid' out for coffee."
-
"Before we go off to practice for mash ups by ourselves, I'd like to point out that Puck is finally back with us," Mr. Schue said, leading the kids in a round of applause while Puck flexed proudly, his guitar by his chair. Then the girls headed off to a different room since the boys had the choir room that day to practice. Mr. Schue went to check on them and Puck turned to the guys.
"Where's Kurt?"
They all looked at each other until finally Finn spoke up. "Um, he went to spy on one of our competitor schools, Dalton Academy. All boys," he explained.
"Oh," Puck said, disappointed. He pulled his baseball cap down further. As per Kurt's instructions he had kept it long so he could touch it, but he didn't want anyone else seeing it that long. Totally wouldn't support the Bad Ass rep that he was going to support even more now that he was out of jail. No need for anyone but Kurt to know how Juvie really treated him.
"Can't you text him or something?" Mike asked.
He didn't want to admit his mom had taken his cell phone away as extra punishment which was why he hadn't been able to talk to Kurt to even tell him he was out. "I left it at home," he mumbled. Maybe he could convince her to take a picture on his phone and he could send it when he got it back so Kurt could see it one last time. He wasn't putting off shaving it into a 'hawk one more day. "So, what's this supposed catch for the mash up challenge this year?"
Puck listened as they explained the genderswap and nodded as they gave him a part to sing. Besides that, he didn't really pay much attention. Instead he just thought about what all he needed to do to keep his rep up. Part one was getting a hot chick on his arm, and he was sure he could work Santana with what he had overheard some guys talking about in the cell next to his. Second, he had to make Artie seem cool/bad ass so hanging out with him for community service would be okay. Obviously the easiest way to do that would be to get a girl for him, but who? Third, to get the girls to go on a date, he needed to get money, and how was he going to do that? Well, he did have his guitar with him…
As soon as practice ended, Puck grabbed his guitar and headed out. He looked around until he found where Artie was. He caught up to him and grabbed the handles to his chair.
Artie tensed immediately. Obviously Puck knew what he had said to Kurt and was going to beat his ass Juvie style. "If you're going to throw me down the stairs, can I suggest the back ones? I know it's not my place to say, but there are less people there so my humiliation would be lessened," he said nervously as Puck continued to push him.
"What?" Puck asked, confused. "Dude, I don't do that stuff, like, I put Jacob in the dumpster, but that's the most I do," Puck said, putting his guitar on Artie's lap. "Anyways, you're my bro now since I need to do community service to stay out of jail."
"…I'm your community service," Artie repeated in disbelief. He didn't realize hanging out with him would really count as community service, but he believed Puck.
"Yes. So, for my community service, I'm getting you a date so you can get laid and stop moping about Tina-"
"Actually, I lost my virgini-"
"Don't interrupt," Puck chastised, "That's just rude, bro. Anyways, so first we need money for this date." He kicked the wheelchair button by the door and watched as it opened the double doors to the outside part of the cafeteria. He nodded with a smirk and kept pushing Artie out.
When he reached the center of the cafeteria, right by the stairs, Puck stopped Artie and pulled his guitar off Artie's lap. He opened the case and left it open on the stairs so people could donate. "Follow my lead," Puck said after a quick tuning of his guitar, sure that Artie would know the song. Sure enough, as soon as he started the intro, Artie smiled in recognition.
"One love," Puck sang, "One heart, let's get together and feel alright."
"Hear the children crying," Artie chimed in, Puck echoing with "One love."
They kept going, dollar upon dollar getting put in Puck's guitar case. Puck couldn't help but realize that he and Artie sounded really good together. Obviously New Directions went the wrong route with the rap song earlier in the year (though Quinn and Santana and definitely Kurt looked really hot in their "gangster" gear, as much as Puck wouldn't admit it to any of their faces) because the guys were loving the Marley and the simple performance much more than they loved the rapping and dance sequence.
"Dude, there has to be, like, sixty bucks in here," Puck said with a laugh when they finished. He looked over to Artie only to see him staring at Santana and Brittany talking over by the other part of the stairs. No, wait, he was just watching Brittany.
Puck smirked, "You like Brittany, huh?"
Artie turned to him and sighed. "She was into me and she took my virginity. And then I messed it up."
While it amazed him that he had missed something that big while being in Juvie, Puck didn't show it. "Well…let's make her yours. Follow my lead…again," Puck said going up the steps.
"Um, Puck?" Artie called out.
Puck turned around and saw him at the bottom of the steps. "Oh, right, wheelchair…" He looked back up and saw Santana and Brittany walking away. "Let's just find them later."