(no subject)
My parents went to go get my sister. They should be here with her on Monday evening. I'm nervous. I have no idea what it's like to be a sister. How do you act? How much do you trust? What do you share? I mean, she's old enough to be a young mother to me, will she treat me as if I'm a child? And part of me wants to include her in everything, to make her my best friend. To show her everything that makes me happy and sad and I just have this bad feeling that it'll never be that way. I don't need another mother, my mom's enough to deal with. Right now, I just want to sit in a bench in a snow-covered park and listen to all this amazing music I'm discovering and read and read and read and not worry about anything. For every two seconds of certainty there are ten of such an abandoning, frightening uncertainty. My life right now is me driving down a road blanketed in the thickest of fogs praying I don't crash, much less end up somewhere desireable. What a scary feeling.