whee updates
Okay, so today didn't go the way i thought it would. Fortunately, my day has not ended in tears {although my day is not over and if i continue to think about certain things, that's what's going to happen}. i did cry earlier, at Master's place. It was while we were talking about D/s and sex. i think there's too much sex in our relationship. i managed to say as much {kind of} and Master asked me if i would like to stop D/s for a while. i said no. Which is true, i don't want to stop because i'm already dependant on it.
i had been lying across Master's chest, and just after this was said, He lifted my wrist and leaned me back a bit. i realize this was so He would be more comfortable and be able to see me better, but at that moment i thought He was literally pushing me away. i started to cry. i thought ... i don't know what i thought. i was afraid that Master was going to tell me that He didn't want to be with me that way. It scared me.
We continued to talk, however, and came to an agreement: the relationship is going to be less sexual. The D/s is going to be less sexual and more "every-day." We also agreed that we both need to use the safe-word more than we do. {Considering my level/thirst for pain, it makes sense. Left up to me, i would wait until i literally could not stand it before i would say anything. Shows how masochistic i am.}
Today was not completely depressing, though! We watched "My Cousin Vinny" and "Corky Romano" -- both of which i laughed my arse off at. {Since i'm bi, can i say f@ggot on TV? Lol!} And there were moments that i absolutely loved when we were just cuddling.
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Work tomorrow, class tomorrow, and possibly presentation the dat after. Aaaahhh. i think i can pull it off though. i just need to study the mechanics of the poem first. After all, who's really interested in the fact that "My Last Duchess" is written in heroic couplets and uses a conversational tone? At least it's not a sonnet, English or Italian. {God how i loathe sonnets ... at least, dissecting them, that is.} Um. Browning was a fan of action, not passiveness, so he may or may not have approved of what Alfonso did. But really, who can approve of a person who killed his wife because he was impotent? Lol.... What a sad existence.
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Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Chocolate is a woman's best friend. And shoes are her drag queen....
i had been lying across Master's chest, and just after this was said, He lifted my wrist and leaned me back a bit. i realize this was so He would be more comfortable and be able to see me better, but at that moment i thought He was literally pushing me away. i started to cry. i thought ... i don't know what i thought. i was afraid that Master was going to tell me that He didn't want to be with me that way. It scared me.
We continued to talk, however, and came to an agreement: the relationship is going to be less sexual. The D/s is going to be less sexual and more "every-day." We also agreed that we both need to use the safe-word more than we do. {Considering my level/thirst for pain, it makes sense. Left up to me, i would wait until i literally could not stand it before i would say anything. Shows how masochistic i am.}
Today was not completely depressing, though! We watched "My Cousin Vinny" and "Corky Romano" -- both of which i laughed my arse off at. {Since i'm bi, can i say f@ggot on TV? Lol!} And there were moments that i absolutely loved when we were just cuddling.
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Work tomorrow, class tomorrow, and possibly presentation the dat after. Aaaahhh. i think i can pull it off though. i just need to study the mechanics of the poem first. After all, who's really interested in the fact that "My Last Duchess" is written in heroic couplets and uses a conversational tone? At least it's not a sonnet, English or Italian. {God how i loathe sonnets ... at least, dissecting them, that is.} Um. Browning was a fan of action, not passiveness, so he may or may not have approved of what Alfonso did. But really, who can approve of a person who killed his wife because he was impotent? Lol.... What a sad existence.
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Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Chocolate is a woman's best friend. And shoes are her drag queen....