my ironic endings: true as blue....
well at least we realized who we are and what we need in life. I ran back to him because i missed him as a person, and yes the kissing and other...(u know) helped cuz it was fun, but i missed the friendship and companionship the most, when we were together the other night at his house, we could both tell it didnt seem right but nothing was said it was an understood emptiness than neither of us wanted to talk about...so we talked about things yesterday and came to the conclusion that we should not be together. It really sux because for the whole year hes all i've ever know and now its like, " okay, what do i do now?" i feel kinda lost and subsided but i hope the feeling of blah will soon fade. We are both very different people but never realized that until we talked yesterday, it was like we were describing each other for each other from a friends point of view. The good, the bad, and the "u should work on.." stuff. SO we did not leave on bad terms, but we left each other understanding why we shoudld just be friends...and thats okay. its okay with me at least we were both very adult and considerate to each other and still hada few inside jokes and pet names for each other in the end, but it was an accomplished feeling of "okay finally thats why i have been feeling that way." We are staying friends after a little while apart and were going to talk as friends but not for a few days to let our hearts heal. As much as i hate this feeling deep down, we both know it is for the better....so we both need to keep busy so we wont be as sad as we are feeling so i gotta work alot and keep myself occupied... Ahh...(sigh) love stinks. I gotta go think of something fun and exciting to do besides watch TV all day and eat junk food in my PJs till 5 in the afternoon....okay so far that looks like indulging in some skin cancer on my back deck, so i think i'll just tan till i look puertorican................(long sad pausing sigh)......i hate feeling alone...