Story: In sickness and in hell
Author: xiotonks
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: JJ/Emily
Rating: PG-13
Warning: There might be someone somehow actually dying *cough*. MAJOR angst warning, folks!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. It makes me cry. You know it.
Spoilers: Mentioning Will isn't spoiling anymore. Except you're from Germany and haven't watched any English episodes so far. Then what the hell are you doing here? 4x03 Minimal Loss
AN: For elekanahmen who demanded angst and gave me the prompt (see title) and for abilena with thanks for the really quick beta and very kind words!
You are strong. All your life you have been the strong one.
Never even blinking when your mother told you, you looked a pathetic mess. You were 9.
Never even blinking when others would have howled in pain because your inflamed kidney hurt like fuck. You were 13.
Never even blinking when you felt a guy’s fist connect with your cheekbone because you were stupid enough to kiss you girlfriend in an open street of St. Petersburg. You were 17.
Never even blinking when your mother told you that she was sorry something like you was allowed to carry the name of the Prentiss family. You were 21.
Never even blinking when you felt Cyrus yank you up by the hair.
Throughout each and every pain you kept your façade, your mask of strength, making yourself believe that you could take it. In sickness and in hell, you were the fighter, the warrior who protected others and stood up for her own opinions. You never blinked. You never stopped. You never flinched. You told yourself that you could take it, that you were stronger than that.
Until you hear the sound of gunfire tearing the silence apart.
Until you hear the sound of a human body hitting the floor.
Until you hear the sound of Morgan desperately yelling for Hotch.
Until you hear the sound of your supervisor’s stifled gasp.
Until you hear the sound of the priest’s voice saying that you were all mourning the death of Special Agent Jennifer Jareau and your hearts went out to her husband and daughter.
Because then you flinch so hard that you hit your head on the doorway you are supposed to secure.
Because then you feel how everything inside you goes numb and dies.
Because then you feel your legs giving out underneath you.
Because then you bite your lip so hard you taste blood to keep yourself from sobbing.
Because then you hear your own scream ringing in your ears.
And you don’t care that Will and you mother tell you to shut up because no one needs to know that you and JJ were lovers.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: JJ/Emily
Rating: PG-13
Warning: There might be someone somehow actually dying *cough*. MAJOR angst warning, folks!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. It makes me cry. You know it.
Spoilers: Mentioning Will isn't spoiling anymore. Except you're from Germany and haven't watched any English episodes so far. Then what the hell are you doing here? 4x03 Minimal Loss
AN: For elekanahmen who demanded angst and gave me the prompt (see title) and for abilena with thanks for the really quick beta and very kind words!
You are strong. All your life you have been the strong one.
Never even blinking when your mother told you, you looked a pathetic mess. You were 9.
Never even blinking when others would have howled in pain because your inflamed kidney hurt like fuck. You were 13.
Never even blinking when you felt a guy’s fist connect with your cheekbone because you were stupid enough to kiss you girlfriend in an open street of St. Petersburg. You were 17.
Never even blinking when your mother told you that she was sorry something like you was allowed to carry the name of the Prentiss family. You were 21.
Never even blinking when you felt Cyrus yank you up by the hair.
Throughout each and every pain you kept your façade, your mask of strength, making yourself believe that you could take it. In sickness and in hell, you were the fighter, the warrior who protected others and stood up for her own opinions. You never blinked. You never stopped. You never flinched. You told yourself that you could take it, that you were stronger than that.
Until you hear the sound of gunfire tearing the silence apart.
Until you hear the sound of a human body hitting the floor.
Until you hear the sound of Morgan desperately yelling for Hotch.
Until you hear the sound of your supervisor’s stifled gasp.
Until you hear the sound of the priest’s voice saying that you were all mourning the death of Special Agent Jennifer Jareau and your hearts went out to her husband and daughter.
Because then you flinch so hard that you hit your head on the doorway you are supposed to secure.
Because then you feel how everything inside you goes numb and dies.
Because then you feel your legs giving out underneath you.
Because then you bite your lip so hard you taste blood to keep yourself from sobbing.
Because then you hear your own scream ringing in your ears.
And you don’t care that Will and you mother tell you to shut up because no one needs to know that you and JJ were lovers.