Why am I still wearing pants?

- zombie_dog

The killer had killed her daddy just for spittin' in the road,
And you only had to kill her daddy once to get that girl P.O.'d.

- Cow Patti by Jim Stafford

"How can such a hard man be so gentle?" she asked wonderingly.

"If I wasn't hard, I wouldn't be alive. If I couldn't ever be gentle, I wouldn't deserve to be alive."

- Raymond Chandler, Playback

"The small boat pitched violently upon the heaving bosom of the ocean, causing Johnson to reflect that, although he generally liked bosoms, he was getting really tired of the ocean's bosom, and wished that it would at least drop from a 44D to a 34B."

- William J. Harvey, for the 2007 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Give up your savior... We have crayons!

- the_confessor

FUCK Hall and Oates!

- the_confessor

Do you have a vagina?

Oh for the love of god Jon, please don't answer that!

- greymaiden

xiombarg: I don't have a female in your species.

greymaiden: I'll take six of yours.

- The Wall of Shame

"Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry," said Hermione...

- J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

It's not a spoiler because it's soooo out of context...

DOCTOR DOOM: I made it! Here on my own sovereign territory I cannot be touched! I am supreme! You would not dare violate international law!

SUPERMAN: Keep on believing that, Doom! Keep on trusting an imaginary line to protect you from me... and by everything I hold sacred, the next time--

DOCTOR DOOM: Bah! Doom fears you not, alien! Here in my ( Read more... )