and i don't know why, i can't keep my eyes off of you...
So last night sucked major ass. I would have liked nothing better then to die last night but i made it through. It was my fault but still.
So this morning was hell. I couldn't wait to get to school. So when i got there i actually went to the cafeteria so i could see Sara and Mike. Yeah, i know i was in a bad mood cause of the hell from last night, but they didn't say a word to me. I don't blame them but i needed someone and yah Strike 1. So then i went to testing and a lot of my class was there. I sat alone and just yeah, no one talked to me. Strike 2. Then i had the HSA testing. Wow that was the easiest thing ever. Then after testing class. All of our classes were shortened which was pretty stupid but whatever. So only missed tech, world history, and chemistry.
Band- played.
Geometry- just did a drill, passed back papers, and played bingo.
Lunch- normal as usual.
Spanish- Don Quijote
English- absolutely nothing.
Then i came home unwillingly and talked to Ryan... that made me feel a lot better. I told my mom how i felt about the situation and that i honestly didn't want to be in this house and thats why i ran out this morning and didnt say goodbye. And then we were in a heated conversation.
Rant- i love how people always say "i'm always here for you, i'll always be here" and then one day that you need them most, they're never there. I hate that. Don't feed me a line thinking that it will make me feel better. It only makes it worse when you don't live up to it. Therefore, when you say it, you better mean it. Then you people also wonder why i don't tell people anything, and keep it all to myself. Well, there's your answer.
Thank God for Ryan, he kinda brought all this crap with me on and just he's helping me a lot by actually being there and caring. I realized that i have pretty much lost everyone other then him. He is my best friend and my boyfriend, and just what else could i ask for. He's been my biggest fan, and just the best person to me even when i haven't really treated him the same lately. So yeah, Ryan... i love you and i'm very sorry for the way i've been acting lately. I shouldn't take it out on you. But i love that we are getting through this and have yet to have our first fight. I love you very much and thanks so much for everything. We're only 12 days away from 2 years. I can't wait.
that is all... later kids...
So this morning was hell. I couldn't wait to get to school. So when i got there i actually went to the cafeteria so i could see Sara and Mike. Yeah, i know i was in a bad mood cause of the hell from last night, but they didn't say a word to me. I don't blame them but i needed someone and yah Strike 1. So then i went to testing and a lot of my class was there. I sat alone and just yeah, no one talked to me. Strike 2. Then i had the HSA testing. Wow that was the easiest thing ever. Then after testing class. All of our classes were shortened which was pretty stupid but whatever. So only missed tech, world history, and chemistry.
Band- played.
Geometry- just did a drill, passed back papers, and played bingo.
Lunch- normal as usual.
Spanish- Don Quijote
English- absolutely nothing.
Then i came home unwillingly and talked to Ryan... that made me feel a lot better. I told my mom how i felt about the situation and that i honestly didn't want to be in this house and thats why i ran out this morning and didnt say goodbye. And then we were in a heated conversation.
Rant- i love how people always say "i'm always here for you, i'll always be here" and then one day that you need them most, they're never there. I hate that. Don't feed me a line thinking that it will make me feel better. It only makes it worse when you don't live up to it. Therefore, when you say it, you better mean it. Then you people also wonder why i don't tell people anything, and keep it all to myself. Well, there's your answer.
Thank God for Ryan, he kinda brought all this crap with me on and just he's helping me a lot by actually being there and caring. I realized that i have pretty much lost everyone other then him. He is my best friend and my boyfriend, and just what else could i ask for. He's been my biggest fan, and just the best person to me even when i haven't really treated him the same lately. So yeah, Ryan... i love you and i'm very sorry for the way i've been acting lately. I shouldn't take it out on you. But i love that we are getting through this and have yet to have our first fight. I love you very much and thanks so much for everything. We're only 12 days away from 2 years. I can't wait.
that is all... later kids...