(no subject)
Lynn. hes always here. i dont even feel like i want to be at my own house anymore just becasue he is here. For some reason, i never thought that i would have to deal with, my moms boyfriend moving in. but his house is up for sale. and i dont even know if they're back together yet. but they're trying out this whole, "were finding out if we can stand eachother long enough to make it permanant". but im fucking going crazy. i never get to be alone with my mom anymore. i cant wake up, have a bowl of cereal and watch tv, cuz lynn is working in the living room and watching soemthing stupid. like the food network. and i always have to bring my robe to walk 2 feet to the basement. if not i get the "UGH! AMANDA! THERE IS A MAN IN THE HOUSE." and the whole its so innapropriate shit. and i know its not really that big of deal, but if i wanna walk to my room naked, with the towel on my head, i shoud be able to! ITS MY HOUSE! NOT HIS!
i dont like living in my own house. i always fucking have someone in my house now. and i hate to answer to anyone. i know i dont have to, but its like im obligated to tell him where im going, out of respect. i dont know.
maybe i should just try to go find a really good job and move out. cuz i really dont wanna live here. i love my mom and all, and i would want to live with her for longer, but i dont want to. all she does is go out with lynn, and then if they have a really good time, she comes back and is like...oh you should have went with us! when they had only bought 2 tickets, not even giving me the chance to come along.
and then my mom bitches, 'your never home anymore." and then when i am home shes like " oh wow manda wants to spend time with her family for once!" well i hate being here. this is my house and its no longer a girls house, its a girls house + lynn. i want a fucking girls house. i miss just making dinner for my mom and i. and just being able to have a normal house.
this morning he wasn't here. i get really excited when he isn't here. every morning i wake up, i listen and see if i can hear him through the floor. and more than likely, if he isn't here, i'll be more prone to wake up.
i like lynn. i just dont like him living in my house. it was great when he lived in his own house, 20 miles away.
man...
fuck.
i dont know what to do with this situation.
i just needed to vent. cuz i tried talking to james, and he just started talking about his own thing, completely ignoring me.
blah. i need to change everything in my life.
i dont like living in my own house. i always fucking have someone in my house now. and i hate to answer to anyone. i know i dont have to, but its like im obligated to tell him where im going, out of respect. i dont know.
maybe i should just try to go find a really good job and move out. cuz i really dont wanna live here. i love my mom and all, and i would want to live with her for longer, but i dont want to. all she does is go out with lynn, and then if they have a really good time, she comes back and is like...oh you should have went with us! when they had only bought 2 tickets, not even giving me the chance to come along.
and then my mom bitches, 'your never home anymore." and then when i am home shes like " oh wow manda wants to spend time with her family for once!" well i hate being here. this is my house and its no longer a girls house, its a girls house + lynn. i want a fucking girls house. i miss just making dinner for my mom and i. and just being able to have a normal house.
this morning he wasn't here. i get really excited when he isn't here. every morning i wake up, i listen and see if i can hear him through the floor. and more than likely, if he isn't here, i'll be more prone to wake up.
i like lynn. i just dont like him living in my house. it was great when he lived in his own house, 20 miles away.
man...
fuck.
i dont know what to do with this situation.
i just needed to vent. cuz i tried talking to james, and he just started talking about his own thing, completely ignoring me.
blah. i need to change everything in my life.