By Terry Pratchett.

Lord Vetinari: I want you to become the governor of the Royal Bank. Moist von Lipwig: No thanks. Ten minutes later… Moist von Lipwig was the owner of Mr Fusspot, the canine chairman of the Royal Bank. “Let’s abolish the gold standard,” said Moist, “and invent paper money.”

Cosmo Lavish: I’m going to turn myself into Lord Vetinari ( Read more... )

By Evelyn Waugh.

Paul Pennyfeather gets sent down from Oxford for indecency (not his fault, but this is one of those sorts of tales) and ends up teaching at Llanabba in Wales at a school run by Augustus Fagan which is staffed by a bunch of utter reprobates.

Pennyfeather is at once put in charge of the sports day at which one of the teachers shoots a ( Read more... )

“Helena Bonham Carter says The Crown should stress to viewers it's a drama,” says the Guardian headline.

Stupidity is on my mind. A story about stupidity.

The headmaster of Oafton Street School was a very lazy man who put much effort into doing as little as possible.

It was the start of a new school year when he would be particularly busy making sure ( Read more... )

Not write? but then I think,
And for my soul I cannot sleep a wink.
I nod in company, I wake at night,
Fools rush into my head, and so I write.
Pope, Satire I. To Mr Fortescue, ll. 11-14

Boris Jackson had got distracted again, and for a time, the pain was sequestered in the back of his mind, never gone and not forgotten, but briefly assuaged. He was ( Read more... )

By Evelyn Waugh.

Something is afoot in Ishmaelia, and on the recommendation of Mrs Stitch, John Boot, whose book is the PM’s bedtime reading, is to be sent to cover the story for the Daily Beast. Unfortunately, the staff of the paper are less than diligent, finding a William Boot, who write a pastoral column for them. Boot, W. is sent off in the ( Read more... )

By Sue Townsend.

When Britain votes in a republican government, the Royal family are out on their ears and packed off to Hellebore “Hell” Close, where no one has any money and everyone survives as best they can.

The Queen soldiers on. Phil the Greek goes mad, and the Queen Mum fades away. Princess Margaret carries on much as if nothing has happened.

( Read more... )

By Sue Townsend.

A few years later. Adrian and Daisy are married and have a daughter, Gracie, but the debts he amassed in the previous volume have them living next door to his parents in the converted piggeries. Adrian is still working at the bookshop for Mr Charlton-Hayes. He also spends a lot of time going to the toilet.

Things are shaky on the ( Read more... )

By Sue Townsend.

It’s the era of the Gulf War. Mr Blair is convinced Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction, and Adrian, insightful as ever, thinks the PM has all the pukka gen.

Adrian buys himself an expensive flat in Rat Wharf (Leicester’s answer to Salford Quays or Docklands), and populates it with a bunch of stuff he can’t afford as he ( Read more... )